Secrets and Lies
by SexySiri
Summary: Summary: In his sixth year Harry Potter discovers the truth about Albus Dumbledore, he also discovers that instead of being Harry Potter he is Harry Malfoy Snape. Contains: Swearing, Slash, depression, self harm, smoking, drugs, Mpreg, Pure angst.
1. Chapter 1

**Summary: **_In his sixth year Harry Potter discovers the truth about Albus Dumbledore, he also discovers that instead of being Harry Potter he is Harry Malfoy Snape.  
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**Couples:**_ SS/LM, LP/JP, RL/SB, RW/HG, _NL/DM, HP/DM, NL/HP/DM, SS/LM/RL/SB**,** SF/DT,**  
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**Warnings:** _Swearing, depression, self harm, smoking, drugs, underage drinking, underage sex, scences of a sexual nature. Contains manipulative!Dumbles.  
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_**Okay, So I wrote this fic a year or so ago when I'd just got otu of hospital after havign my appendix out. The idea came to me when I was completely doped up on morphine and re-reading it I think it's mental but oh well... I'm posting it anyway... tell me what you think and I may continue it. It's pure angst at times...  
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** Chapter one.**

"Harry, what can I do for you?" Dumbledore smiled as Harry walked into his office. Harry looked at the man in front of him, the man he'd trusted with his life for the past five years.

"Umm… I'm mean to be writing an essay on the Grindelwald war for history of magic and I was kind of wondering if you could help. I mean you know all about the war and… well Ron's writing to his dad to ask for help but I can't obviously so…" He said, lying through his teeth.

"I would be honoured to help you." The older man smiled, he guestured Harry to take a seat and Harry did so, taking a piece of parchment and a quill out of his bag. Albus Dumbledore began to talk about the beginning of the war against Grindelwald Harry tried to appear interesting but his mind kept going back to the battle at the ministry a few months earlier, when they had lost Sirius. Harry and Voldemort had battled against each other until finally Voldemort had driven himself inside Harry's mind and tried to possess him. Harry had managed to push Voldemort out of his head but not before viewing one of the dark lord's memories.

_"There is a small group standing in our way." Came Dumbledore's voice._

_"Then we kill them." Snapped Voldemort._

_Dumbledore smirked, it was terrifying. "No, we mess with their heads. Obliviate them and give them new memories. Make them trust us and then use them for our own means."_

_"How?"_

Then Harry had been thrown from the memory. He hadn't mentioned it the headmaster and had tried to tell himself he'd imagined it but he couldn't have. Harry frowned, he knew he had to do this... he had to know... 'Legimens' He thought and dove forwards into Dumbledore's memories. Then he found what he was looking for.

_Harry Malfoy Snape, in the arms of his father Severus who was stood next to his husband Lucius. In the memory Dumbledore obliviated the two older men, Making Severus believe that he was a spy for the light against a non existent dark side, he then made Lucius believe that he supported the dark and was married to Narcissa Black, they had a son, Draco, whom Dumbledore had kidnapped from Remus and Sirius Black the day beforehand. Taking Harry, Dumbledore headed over to the Potters. _

"Harry?" Dumbledore asked and Harry blinked. "Are you okay? You seemed to zone out a little there…"

"Headche." Harry lied, resisting punching the man.

Dumbeldore nodded, "You should go and rest, how about I write some notes down for you and have a house elf deliver them?"

"That would be geat proffessor, Thanks." Harry said, shoving his parchment in his bag and leaving the office, leaning against the outside wall as he struggled to come to terms with what he had seen. Harry didn't realise that by discovering the secret to his past it mean that everyone involved now knew the truth of what had happened, their old memories returning to them.

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Severus Snape's mind went wild. He was seeing things. Memories. His husband. His child. Their happy times together. Harry's fist steps with Lucius and himself smiling proudly. Harry had his father's green eyes and his own hair but much shorter and shiny. He couldn't believe it. The boy he had hated so much had been his own son. His happy home had been destroyed not by someone he hated but someone he had trusted. Dumbledore. He had been the one to fill his head with hatred for people. Hatred for his own son!

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Remus somehow knew... His memories were all mixed up. He remembered Severus his best friend. Lucius, His best friend's husband and then there was Harry, His godson. All had been separated after Dumbledore had began his manipulations. Sirius, his husband... and their son Draco, taken and handed to Lucius...Lily and James' son Neville... what had happened to him? Put with the Longbottoms, whoever they really were… Dumbledore! The man was powerful. He wanted the world in his hands. He practically had it. Voldermort and he working together to take over…

These two remembered everything from their child-hoods. They did not hate each other. They were best friends. Practically inseparable. Peter didn't exist at all... The marauders had been Remus, James, Sirius and Severus. They could not believe a mere spell had kept their friendship apart.

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Harry walked down the corridor, as he reached the end he noticed Severus stood there. "Do you know who I am?" Harry asked quietly, he watched his father nervously hoping the man knew, hoping that Snape hadn't known all along and had merely denied it, but Harry had seen him looking happy with both himself and his other father. He only hoped that Dumbledore had made Snape forget too. Severus gave a small nod. Harry didn't scream and shout like Severus expected which made him smile slightly. Harry still kept up his guard though, he just hoped that Severus wasn't like his uncle. "You are Harry Malfoy Snape, my son…" Severus looked to the floor; guilt was clearly shown on his face. "Dumbledore fooled us all." Harry nodded. It was awkward. Snape wanted to hug his son. To apologise for everything he had said, he hated himself.

Harry heard a small noise and pulled up a wandless shield quickly, he couldn't help but be overly careful. Severus examined the shield, he'd known Harry was powerful enough to use wandless magic but was surprised at how quickly and well he could do so. He also had no idea why his son had pulled up the shield. "Harry why did you..." Then he heard the footsteps. Severus wasn't worried, It was probably some student. Then Remus stepped around the corner. "Remus!" Snape exclaimed. Remus and Severus hugged tightly, making Harry feel even more uncomfortable and awkward.

"I'm sorry my friend. I didn't know." Remus smiled.

"Neither did I. Not until just now." Severus said, pulling back slightly.

Remus looked at Harry who was still inside his shield. "That's very impressive Harry. Now how about you come out and give your godfather a hug?" Remus had trained Harry to do some simple wandless magic and knew he was practising it on a regular basis but he was surprised at how well the boy was doing. Harry watched the man before he sighed and let the shield fade so that he could hug his godfather. He stayed tense the whole time aware that at anytime he could be hurt. Severus smiled, he had his son and friend back. Now all he needed to do was find out if Sirius, James and Lily really were dead, contact Lucius and find Draco and Neville.

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Harry stood awkwardly as Severus and Remus sat down in Severus' living room chatting about things they had forgotten. Harry felt almost like he didn't belong here. The two however noticed as Harry tried to sneak out and leave them in peace. They both pulled Harry to sit down causing Harry to whimper thinking about how his uncle would pull him around. The two looked at him oddly but shook it off and started adding Harry into the conversation about his wandless magic and what he did to waste his time around Hogwarts. Harry of course didn't tell them about his writing and his other secrets but about how homework and quidditch took up most of his time they smiled and laughed when he said homework, both knew Harry was the student who did the least in the school. Well lately they had noticed it had increased slightly, with more detail too which impressed them both greatly. "So you and Sirius were married?" Harry asked Remus. The werewolf nodded, "And you had a son?" Another nod, "Who Dumbledore has made everyone think is Draco Malfoy?"

"Yes..."

"The Draco Malfoy we all believe to be Lucius Malfoy's son." Remus and Severus both nodded, "Lucius Malfoy... the Lucius Malfoy who is my father."

"Yes Harry."

"Merlin." Harry muttered, running a hand through his hair.

Severus smiled, "I know it's a lot to take in..." He patted his son's shoulder, frowning as Harry winced.

"The spell on you lifted because I knew... right?" Harry asked.

"Yes..."

"Well James, Lily and Sirius are still alive. James and Lily believe they are muggles and they currently live in New York. Sirius thinks he's a squib and he lives in Chester. I assume the spell will have lifted on them too. And on my other father."

Remus nodded, "I assume so... We should hear from them all in the next few days. I just got permission for you to come to mine over the summer after spending a week at your so called aunt and uncle's -"

"My so called aunt and uncle?"

"Lily's only sibling was Lucius. Dumbledore charmed two muggles into believing they were Petunia and Vernon. He made them hate magic." Severus and Remus flinched backwards as Harry began radiating anger, books flew off the shelves, "He put me through that shit?" Harry growled.

Severus frowned, "Harry calm down." He said, giving a sigh of relief as the boy did so. "What do you mean by shit?" Severus asked.

Harry winced,

"Nothing I just... never felt at home." He lied.

"Anyway once you've spent a week there everyone can join us at Sirius' mansion, just in case Dumbles casts a tracking charm on you, see Sirius left it to me in his 'will'." Remus explained.

"Can't I just go straight to yours?" Harry begged.

Severus sighed, "Dumbledore's still going on about blood wards and we have to pretend to believe him. Sorry son." Harry sighed and gave a nod but Severus was still bothered about what his son suffered. "You should get to bed..."

Harry nodded and rose from his chair, "Goodnight." Both men hugged him, frowning when he tensed. Harry left the room but instead of heading to the tower he headed to the room of requirements and pulled out his notebook

**_ I was thinking earlier, before I found out about all this... Well I was remembering really... The first time I tried to kill myself, I was eight. I carved the word freak into my arm with a kitchen knife. I didn't bleed enough, My 'Uncle' found me the next morning. He seemed almost proud of my work, even let me have a fifteen minute bath to wash the dried blood off, a fifteen minute one! Usually I was only allowed a four minute one or a two minute shower. That was exactly twelve days before he sold me for the first time. The client, an average business guy, loved the scars, said it added... style. He fucked me into the bed, beating me as he did so. It took six days to recover... Then the next client came along. Six months after that I tried to kill myself again but that's another story... _**

Harry used the quill to cut his arm before drawing, with his blood, a small snowdrop at the bottom of the page. He pulled his sleeve over the cuts before casting a drying charm on the ink and the blood and closing his book, slowly he headed up to the tower.

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**_So... what do you think?_**


	2. Dumbledore's a good guy!

_**Sorry for the delay.**_

_**Warning: Contains scenes of a sexual nature  
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**"Dumbledore's a good guy!"**

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"Draco, your father is in my study, he would like a word with you." Severus said, Draco frowned but followed his godfather down the corridor.

When they reached Severus' study Draco was surprised to find, not only Lucius, but Remus Lupin. "What's going on?" He asked suspiciously,

"We have some things we need to discuss with you." Lucius said quietly, "It will be easier if you view our memories in this pensive. It'll sort of explain it a lot better than we can…" Draco frowned, his father sounded different, less uptight, for some reason. "Go on." Lucius smiled, nodding towards the pensive, Draco gave his father a suspicious look but dipped his head inside.

"Do you reckon he'll accept this?" Remus asked quietly once Draco was in the pensive.

"I think it might take a little while." Lucius replied, "But if you come in straight with the parental thing then it'll be easier, don't let it seem awkward."

"Is that what you two are going to do with Harry?" Remus asked.

"I'm not sure… With Harry it's more complicated since he's never really had a parent there, and then he has all this Voldemort thing to deal with. He's probably going to have to duel him again soon." Lucius sighed, "I haven't even met him yet… well not when I haven't been threatening to hex him anyway."

"Harry's forgiven you for that, he knows it wasn't your fault." Severus said, he sounded tired, like they'd had this conversation before.

"I guess." Lucius mumbled, Draco pulled out of the pensive at that moment putting an end to the conversation.

The blonde teenager stared at the three men for a moment before shaking his head, "You're all mental."

"Draco." Lucius started.

"No! You're all insane!" Draco yelled, "I mean… Where the fuck did you come up with all that shit?!!"

"Watch your language." Lucius growled, so used to telling Draco off that he couldn't help but continue.

"Or what?" Draco spat. "Cause according to you you aren't even my father."

Remus decided to cut in then, "Lucius is right Draco, you need to watch your language."

Draco stared at the man for a few moments, "Oh Merlin… You lot actually believe all this don't you?" He whispered.

"It's true Draco." Severus said quietly.

Draco groaned, "Not you too! It's mental Uncle Sev! Someone's brainwashed you all!!"

Severus sighed, "Draco, I taught you remember… all about memories, how, when you view them ina pensive, you can tell if they're real or fake…" Severus trailed off as Draco's eyes widened.

"But… But… That's impossible… I mean…. Dumbledore's a good guy… He has to be…. Oh Merlin…" The three men watched as the boy edged towards the sofa and sat down heavily… "Shit." He muttered. "Actually this is great."

"It is?" Severus asked.

"Yeah… I wa shaving doubts about the whole muggleborn equals evil thing and wasn't quite sure how to tell my father without getting disowned… But if you don't actually believe that then…" Draco smiled, then he turned to Remus, "So how will this work?"

"Well Sirius and I would like to get straight in there with the parenting if you don't mind." Remus said quietly. "But we'll be spending the holidays at the manor along with Lily, James, Neville, Harry, Severus and Lucius so Lucius will always be around if you need him…"

Draco nodded, "Does Mother know?" He asked Lucius.

"Yes, she understands everything, as you know our marriage was arranged and meant nothing anyway so this doesn't affect her at all." Lucius said quietly, threading his fingers through Severus'.

Draco frowned, "Sev didn't get hurt by Voldemort and need to rest a few months ago did he?" The teenager smirked, "He was in your bed for a totally different reason!! How did I miss that?!"

"Me and Sev have been seeing each other since you were five, Narcissa doesn't mind but we thougth it best not to tell you." Lucius admitted, Draco laughed and shook his head.

"Would you like to spend some time with Remus for a while?" Severus asked, "Lucius and I will only be in the other room if you need us." Draco frowned but gave a small nod, to which Remus smiled, then Sdeverus and Lucius left the room leaving father and son alone…

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The next few days passed quickly for Remus and Severus although they didn't see Harry. They agreed to meet with Lily, James, Sirius and Lucius at Sirius' mansion in a weeks time once the summer holidays began. Draco would also be there as well as Neville Longbottom who was in actuality Neville Potter. Severus was upset, Harry seemed to be avoiding him. Remus kept telling him to give Harry time but this was getting ridiculous. The boy hadn't even looked at him in three days! "Mr Potter stay after class." He drawled about ten minutes before the end of his sixth year potions class. Harry scowled into the polyguice potion they were brewing and once everyone had filed out he walked slowly up to his father's desk.

"Yes Proffessor?" Severus groaned and cast a silencing charm around them.

"You've been avoiding me." He said lightly.

Hary flinched, "I just.... I needed time to think." Severus nodded, he could understand that. He explained to his son about everyone gathering at the manor. Harry smiled, he was excited about meeting his other father... plus he was curious as to how different Sirius would be. "Why don't you have dinner with Remus and I tonight?" Severus offered, his eyes pleading, and Harry didn't have the heart to reject him so an hour later he found himself sat at a small dining table in Severus' rooms with his father and one of his godfathers. "I was thinking maybe you could tell Weasley and Granger." Severus said, hoping it would cheer his son up slightly, Harry simply shrugged and Severus sighed. "Also only pack for one week at the Dursley's, we can send the rest of your stuff to the mansion."

"What do I call you and... Lucius? It'll get confusing if I call you both father."

Severus smiled, "Well maybe you could call one of us dad or something... wait until you get to know us a bit better before deciding." He smiled, "I recived a letter from your father actually. He says to tell you that he is sorry for everything that has happened and that he loves you a lot." Harry's face remained blank as Severus said this and the potions master found himself wishing that he could understand his son a little better. Severus and Remus both tried to entice Harry into the conversation a bit more, asking about his life and his hobbies. "I like flying." He said for the twelfth time. "Well is there anything else besides flying?"

"I guess I like to draw... and sing..." Harry muttered but refused to elaborate no matter how many questions Severus asked.

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Too soon it was the holidays and Harry had to return to the Dursleys. "I'll come and fetch you in five days time at midnight." Remus promised Harry who tried to look as though it didn't bother him.

"See you in September, remember to write!" Hermione and Ron said as they left the station. Remus pulled Harry into a tight hug and then watched as the boy walked away, towards his aunt and uncle who were waiting. Once he had made sure that every Hogwarts student had got home Remus apparated to the mansion. Sirius had been expecting him and dragged him into the downstairs loo to get... reacquainted. "I have missed you so godamned much!" Remus breathed, fisting his hands in Sirius' hair and groaning as the man's tongue pressed a pressure point on his cock. It didn't take long for Remus to come and Sirius came seconds later, working himself off with one hand.

They grabbed a quick shower and as his husband soaped his back Remus asked where Draco was. "He's coming over tomorrow, wanted to say a proper goodbye to Narcissa, Luc is here though, and Jay, Lils and Nev. Oh and Sev arrived about two hours ago but you knew that." Sirius explained, climbing out of the shower and casting drying charms on himself and Remus.

The two walked into the living room. "Rem's here everyone!" Sirius yelled and Remus found himself engulfed in hugs from all sides. Neville gave him a shaky grin from where he was sat and Remus returned it. Everyone sat down, Remus and Sirius on one sofa, Sev and Luc on another and James, Lily and Neville on the third. Neville seemed pretty scared of the whole situation, well of course he was, imagine being told that the two people you thought were your parents were actually random muggles that Dumbledore had tortured and made everyone believe were Alice and Frank Longbottom. In reality there were no such people as the Longbottoms. "How've you been?" Sirius asked Remus, nuzzling at his ear.

"So, so." The werewolf replied, "Moony's been missing his pack." He added.

"Yea, I noticed some new scars." Sirius muttered darkly. It was an unspoken rule in the group that nobody upset Remus and if anyone outside the group upset him then they got their arses kicked, the second rule was that Remus never found out about the first. "Did you speak to Harry today?" Severus asked Remus.

"Yea, he was doing his pretending that he was okay with everything act." Severus nodded and sighed, turning back to Lucius and beginning a quiet conversation. At eleven o'clock Lily and James sent Neville to bed, following him a few minutes later. Severus and Lucius rose. "We'll see you tomorrow." Severus smiled, leading his husband upstairs.

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They kissed carefully at first, tongues winding and sliding together gently. Severus's hands, which had stilled at Lucius' waistband, now moved lower to work the rest of the buttons free. As their mouths continued to feed upon one another, Severus worked his hand in to free Lucius' hard, hot cock. Lucius didn't make a sound, but as Severus started to fist him with firm, unhurried strokes, the hands in his hair tightened, and Lucius took control of the kiss. He pulsed his tongue in and out of Severus's mouth roughly, not letting up, until Severus was panting. His strokes on Lucius' cock became jerky and uneven, but if Lucius minded, he didn't complain. Severus's heart was pounding in his chest as he wrenched his head to the side, gasping for breath. "Let me taste you," he panted, as he sank to his knees at Lucius' feet. Lucius' hands followed him down, still embedded in his hair. He stared down at him through half-lidded eyes, "Oh, Sev." His name spilling from Lucius' inflamed lips sounded like a prayer. He pulled Severus's head forward, groaning loudly when Severus's lips closed around him. Severus sucked him in deep, swallowing around him, wanting to devour him. He was only able to pull him in a few times before Lucius was cursing, and hauling him back up. "Bed," Lucius growled in his ear, sucking and biting every inch of skin that he could reach, "Now."

They tore at each other in their attempts to feel skin touching skin. Buttons were popped loose, and fabric torn. Clothing littered the bedroom, and they were naked by the time they reached the bed, each still trying desperately to devour the other. Severus felt the backs of his legs hit the bed, and had a moment to wonder at the fact they had actually made it there, before he was spun around. Lucius lifted him with ease and threw him forcefully onto the bed, face first. He didn't have time to get his bearings, because Lucius was immediately upon him. He forced his thighs apart roughly, and buried his face between Severus's arse cheeks. Severus threw his head back and cried out, arching his bottom against Lucius' mouth. The hot, wet tongue that was thrusting into him fiercely was nearly his undoing. "Stop. I can't… I… Oh, fuck! Luc! In me. In me now. Please." Lucius pulled back abruptly, reached for the lube, and Severus could hear the wet sounds of him slicking his cock. He tossed the lube aside and fell forward onto his hands. He thrust into Severus without preamble, taking him flat against the bed. He growled deep in his chest as he rested his full weight on Severus, grasped his thighs to open them wider, and began thrusting hard, deep, and fast. Severus panted for breath as Lucius drove into him, his fists tearing at the sheets as he scrambled for purchase. Lucius' grip on his thighs tightened, as he fucked him impossibly harder, and he was sure he would have bruises tomorrow where Lucius' fingers sank into his tender flesh. He reached behind him and placed his hand on Lucius' hip, revelling in the feel of those taut muscles expanding and contracting as he moved. Lucius slammed him against the bed, over, and over, their flesh slapping together audibly, and he could feel sweat dripping onto his neck from Lucius' hair.

"God, Severus," Lucius rumbled against Severus' neck, "Missed you." Severus's cock was trapped beneath him, rubbing against the sheets with every violent thrust, and he knew he was going to come. Just like this. Soon. Lucius moved one hand from his thigh, and slid his arm under Severus's chest to grasp his shoulder. He used the leverage to pull himself in deeper with each heated thrust. "I'm close," Severus gasped, his body shaking with the force of Lucius' powerful hips. "Good," Lucius rasped, "Come. Now." Lucius' cock shoved against his prostate with each word, and Severus screamed as his orgasm was ripped from his body. "Fuck. God. Love you," Lucius whispered, and bit down on the back of his neck hard enough to draw blood. Lucius pulled himself in deep one final time, and held very still as he pumped out his release. He fell limp on top of Severus, his cock still buried, both of them breathing hard.

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_**New chapter up soon hopefully. Please review.**_


	3. PDoA

**I'm quite proud of how quickly I'm updating this!!**

**Please review and thank you so, so much to everyone who did last chapter.**

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**PDoA.**

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The next few days passed in a blur for the residents of the mansion. Draco arrived and instantly fell into place as Remus and Sirius' son. Then it was the day to collect Harry, Remus was going as Dumbledore believed that it was only him Harry was staying with. "Remus! Do you know what your son just did?" Sirius seethed, walking into the room with an apologetic Draco following.

"_Our_ son Sirius, he doesn't simply become mine whenever he does something wrong." Seeing his husband scowl Remus added, "What did he do anyway?"

"He just whacked Neville, right in the nose and when Lily asked him why he did it he yelled at her and used some obscene language."

Remus looked his son in the eye before leading him over to the couch. "Why did you hit Neville, Drake?"

"He said that Blaise was a tosser!" Draco defended.

Remus sighed, "Well then you should tell Nev that Blaise is your friend and you don't like hearing him be spoken of like that." He raised an eyebrow, "Now I expect you to apologise to Neville and to Lily. I trust this wont happen again as this is the exact behaviour that will land you face down over my knee with a brush blistering your backside." Draco's eyes widened and he instantly promised to apologise and that it wouldn't happen again. Remus, Sirius and Draco headed downstairs where Remus oversaw Draco's apologies before saying goodbye to everyone and flooing to Mrs Figgs house in Surrey. He walked down the street and threw a small pebble at the window he knew belonged to Harry's room. After a few minutes the front door opened and Harry stood there with his backpack. "_They_ know you're leaving?" Remus asked.

"Yup."

"Great, let's go." Remus smiled, he offered to take Harry's backpack but the boy clung to it.

"So hows things at the mansion?" Harry asked quietly as they walked down the street.

Remus smiled, "It's great, everyone's getting to know each other and they're really excited to have you arrive." Harry gave a small smile although Remus noticed that his eyes were dull. They thanked Arabella Figg before flooing to the mansion. Harry felt a bit awkward, everyone was watching him. Neville and Draco had both been sent to bed as it was around half twelve by now and it was only his parents and godparents there but it didn't make him feel much better. "You okay? They treat you okay?" Severus asked, Harry nodded jerkily. Suddenly he was pulled into a hug by Lily, who frowned as she saw him tense, all his godparents hugged him before leaving him alone with Lucius and Severus, Sirius gave him an extra squeeze and everyone saw that Harry was more relaxed with him than anyone else. "Hello Harry." Lucius whispered.

"Father." Harry nodded. Lucius had seen Harry tense when hugged and so approached the boy slowly,

"May I hug you?" Harry nodded jerkily and Lucius pulled his son close, tears falling from his eyes at getting his family back. "I'm so sorry for everything." Lucius whispered.

"It wasn't your fault." Harry replied and Lucius gave a small smile, thankful his son didn't blame him. Harry smiled back, with both Severus and Lucius he felt like a family.

With both his fathers there he opened up more, "I love drawing." He said, not mentioning that a lot of the time it was doodles in his own blood at the bottom of his diary entries.

"I used to draw loads when I was your age, haven't done in years though." Lucius grinned, glad he had a connection with his son. When the clock chimed four Severus looked Harry in ther eye and said, "Bed." Harry groaned but obeyed, they led him up to the room they had prepared for him. His trunk lay unopened at the end of the bed. "Goodnight son." Lucius hugged Harry again before leaving the room, Severus also said goodnight, pulling his son close, "I love you, never forget that." He whispered before following Lucius. Harry pulled out his diary and simply wrote.

_I have the family I have always craved... I am happy._

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His happiness wasn't to last though, he woke up three hours later choking... Massaging his neck he let the tears fall as he remembered his Uncle's fat fingers clasping his neck as he was brutally raped. Slowly Harry stopped crying and he walked over to his trunk, opening it to withdraw his razor. Harry dragged it across his skin, watching the blood pool in little droplets before trickling down his arm. He withdrew his diary and added,

_I am happy, yet he haunts my dreams.... I am empty... In need of life... I need to feel, something, anything, anger, love, hate... pain... anything._

Then Harry dipped the quill in his blood and drew a snake across the bottom of the page. After a moment he shoved everything back in the trunk, grabbed some clean clothes and locked the trunk before going into the en-suite and taking a shower.

"I thought you'd be sleeping for another couple of hours at least." Severus frowned as his son walked into the kitchen. "Guess I was just excited." Harry lied. James and Remus smiled at him, they were the only other two up.

"Hey kid." Sirius grinned, walking in behind Harry.

"God I missed you so much." Harry breathed, his arms clinging around Sirius' neck, Sirius held him back just as tightly. They drew apart and sat down at the table, Sirius piled a plate high with food and then put it in front of Harry who scowled at him, Sirius simply poked his tongue out and frowned when Harry turned away, his cheeks red. "Draco and Neville should be up in a few hours and your father wont be long either." Severus said, Harry gave a nod.

"Lils went out to go shopping but she apparated to our old place so Dumbles doesn't find out." James told Sirius when he asked where she was.

"Morning love." Severus said as Lucius walked in, the blonde merely grunted before pouring a mug of coffee.

"Luc is never awake unless he's had coffee." Remus explained to Harry who smirked. Draco walked in then and noticing Harry growled, "Potter."

"Malfoy," Harry replied coldly, Severus opened his mouth to remind them that they weren't Potter and Malfoy any more but then he noticed that Draco was knelt by Harry's chair and the two were having a muttered conversation. The five adults in the room frowned, especially when Draco stood up and grinned at Harry before going to his seat. "Morning." Lucius finally mumbled making everyone laugh. Harry excused himself and headed upstairs, leaving the five men to scowl at his still full plate. Draco followed him a few moments later.

**~*~*~*~*~*~**

"Here." Harry said, he unlocked his trunk and pulled everything out, all his notebooks, diaries kept over the years, all his sketch pads and so on until finally it seemed empty, then he pulled the invisibility cloak off the pile at the bottom. There were around twenty vials of potions, a load of cd's and a cd player. "This one's good." Harry said holding out a cd as Draco flicked through one of his photo albums. "The All Starz?" Draco asked.

"Yup, this songs called 'Breakdown.'" Harry smiled.

"Sounds delightful." Draco drawled in response.

Harry laughed, "This version doesn't have the words though so you'll have to put up with me singing it..." The music began.

_"I've seen it before and I'll say it again, nothing's what it seems to be._

_You trip and you fall when, nothing makes sense, what the hell happened to me?_

_Well you don't notice, that I can't take this, my words never got through..._

_So..._

_Break down with me and I'll show you how it feels to be alone._

_You wouldn't make it, couldn't take it, I told you...So_

_Break down with me and I'll make it worth your while._

_Just for a minute, if I could have a moment of your time._

_You did it before and you'll do it again, another thing I can't believe._

_I trip and I fall when, you don't make sense, what the hell is meant to be?_

_Time, if I could have a moment of your time, if I could have a moment of your..._

_(If you want it you got it, if this is what you need)_

_Time, if I could have a moment of your time, if I could have a moment of your time..."_

"Bloody hell." Draco croaked, "You sure as fuck can sing..." Harry blushed and ducked his head.

"You can borrow the cd." He mumbled, "We should get back downstairs." Draco grinned and they both headed downstairs.

"Eww dad gross!" Draco yelled as he and Harry came across Remus and Sirius kissing at the bottom of the stairs.

Sirius frowned when he noticed that Harry was avoiding their eyes and only looking up occassionally to shoot daggers at Remus. "You should be pleased that your parents love each other." Remus told Draco who rolled his eyes.

"Whatever, just keep the PDoA to a minimum." Draco begged.

"PDoA?" Sirius asked.

"Public displays of affection." Harry told him, muttering the words.

Remus frowned, "Are you okay Harry?"

"Yes, fine, great, brill. Come on Drake." Harry turned and left, all three Lupin-Black's watched him go, frowning, and then suddenly understanding dawned on Draco and he ran after his friend.

"You fancy my dad!"

"Keep your voice down!" Harry hissed and dragged Draco into the sitting room, casting a silencing charm around them. "Look, I really wish I didn't fancy him, it hurts like hell and it's really annoying but... I dunno..." Harry was red, hating the look of disgust on Draco's face.

"Well just... don't act on it."

"As if!" Harry laughed. He removed the silencing charm as he noticed Lucius stood in the doorway watching them. "You do that wandlessly?" Lucius asked. Harry nodded, "Amazing." The older man breathed, delighting in the grin his son gave.

"Yo Harry!" Neville grinned walking in with Remus, Sirius, Severus and James.

"'Sup Nev?" Harry smiled.

"Nawt much, Sboom's been asking after you...."

Harry sighed, "Damn Bitch... Ouch!" The last part came after Lucius cuffed him for swearing.

"Who's 'Sboom?" Severus asked as Harry, Neville and Draco settled onto a couch.

Neville grinned. "Ginny Weasley." He said, Severus smirked, the youngest Weasley's crush on Harry was well known.

"Why Sboom?" Remus asked and all three teenagers flushed.

"It's short for school broom." Draco muttered.

James frowned, "Why school broom?" The three went impossibly redder before Neville nudged Harry who scowled before mumbling,

"Everyone gets a ride."

The adults stared at the teenagers for a moment before James whispered, "That's horrible."

"You've obviously never met her." Harry muttered.

"That is beside the point!" James snapped before turning to Neville, "I don't want you to call her that again is that understood?"

"Yes dad." Neville muttered.

"Same goes for you." Remus told Draco who sighed.

Harry and Lucius were looking each other in the eye and Lucius gave a litle shrug, "You're old enough to decide what to call people for yourself." He said calmly, "Just remember how you hated the names people called you beacuse of things that happened." Harry scowled, his father had never actually told him not to call Ginny Sboom but he had ensured that Harry would feel guity every time he did so.

"So when did you two become friends?" Severus asked Draco and Harry, the two grinned and exchanged looks before Draco began explaining.

"Last year we set a truce, we may have been on different sides of the war but that didn't mean we couldn't play chess together or practice flying."

"That's brilliant, How far did this truce spread?" James asked.

"All of Gryffindor and Slytherin, plus All Ravenclaws and Hufflepuffs." Harry tried to make it seem like less than it was but the men were still amazed.

"Hey Harry, do you know any spells that we could use on Seamus and Dean?" Neville asked, changing the subject.

"What's the problem?" Draco said.

Harry smirked, "Those two are at it like horny bunnies with something to prove.... And they never remember the damn silencing charms making the less fortunate, like Nev here, feel even more frustrated than ever." Neville laughed and threw a pillow at his friend.

Suddenly something small and brown flew into the room. "Did I just see a flying rat?" James asked

Harry snorted at that, "No, it was Ron's owl Pigwidgeon,"

"Pigwidgeon? Are you serious?"

"Deadly. Although Ron just calls him Pig,"

"Because that's so much better," James smirked. Harry ignored him and picked up his letter.

_Hey Har, _

_'Mione says hello. We hope you're okay now you're with Lupin, at least the Dursleys can't get you there. Maybe we could come and visit sometime. You still got that stash of vials?_

_Missing you a lot, god that sounds soppy! Look after yourself and try not to lose too much blood, I'd hate to lose you._

_Ron._

_P.S. Harry it's Hermione, this is a two way mirror, call me now._

"Mione sent me a two way mirror." Harry muttered, pulling it out of the parcel.

"Call her from here." Nev said, he'd always wanted a two way mirror.

Harry shook his head, "She doesn't know about you guys."

"We'll be quiet!" Draco promised and Harry sighed, he stood up and walked to the door,

"I'll call her from my room." He said quietly before leaving.

As he closed the door he heard Severus mutter, "What's he hiding?" _More than you could ever imagine Father, more than you could ever imagine..._

"Hermione Granger." Harry said as soon as he was in his room and had cast a silencing charm. Hermione appeared in the mirror, her hair was a mess and she was blushing. "Sorry, Did I disturb something?" Harry smirked.

"Trust me Potter, if you had disturbed something then I'd have smashed the mirror against the wall by now!" Ron growled, Coming up behind Hermione and putting his arms around her. Harry laughed before his face grew serious. "There's some things I need to tell you but you're going to have to come over."

"Well mum's planning on making sure that Remus is okay -"

"She's WHAT?!"

Ron grinned, "You know what she's like." Harry simply growled. "She was planning on visiting at ten tomorrow, we can tag along."

"Was she going to tell Remus about this?"

"Surprise visit to catch him mistreating you." Ron snorted. Harry gave a grunt and they all scowled when they heard Ginny's voice. "Got to go, I'll see you tomorrow." Ron muttered and they disconnected.

Harry threw the mirror into his trunk before running downstairs. "REMUS! Molly Weasley's coming over at ten tomorrow to check up on you." Remus cursed and they began making plans for everyone to be hiding upstairs at ten the next morning.

"Bloody Molly Weasley." Sirius growled having never liked the woman. Remus gave his husband a quick kiss to calm the man, noticing Harry scowl as he did so. Remus and Sirius were by far the cuddliest of the three couples, Harry had yet to see Lily and James even share a hug and he hadn't seen his fathers kiss yet, thank god.

"Harry, can we talk?" Severus asked and Harry nodded, following Severus and Lucius out of the room. They walked silently through the mansion until they reached a door, Severus opened it to reveal another sitting room. The walls were a deep red and there was a cream carpet. Both sofa's were black, Harry noticed, and there were several photographs on the walls dating back several generations. All three men sat down and Severus wrung his hands before beginning. "Harry, We need to set some basic rules." Harry winced, if there were rules then he was bound to break them. "There are obvious ones like nothing illegal, drugs and alcohol and so on. Then there's things like.... Well treating us with respect, if you give us respect then we will return it." Lucius said, Harry nodded, that didn't seem so bad. "We also expect you to treat everyone else in the house with respect. If you have a problem then talk about it rationally." Harry nodded again,

"I'm sure we'll think of some more as we go on." Severus added. "Now if you do break a rule we'll probably think about the consequences on the spot depending on how bad it is so we wont say something like, if you drink alcohol then you're grounded for a week since it will depend on the amount of alcohol, We do believe in groundings, extra chores and if the situation is especially serious, and only then, a spanking." Harry's eyes widened, "Only when you've done something particularly bad." Severus repeated, Harry wasn't pleased but he understood..

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**Okay, So I haven't really planned this story much further so any ides would be grateful!!**

**Also any couples you want? Harry/Draco, Harry/Neville, Harry Hermione, Ron/Neville, Draco/Tonks, Any of them or more will be considered if you want, even if the couple you really want is something like James/Severus I'm sure I'll find a way to fit it in! I love angst so affairs are always good!! Just let me know.  
**

**Thirdly the nickname Sboom... I borrowed this from a fic I read but I can't seem to find it again so.... If anyone knows which fic I mean then let me know so I can tell you who the authour is, it was a good fic, Harry/Sirius I think.**

**Thanks. SexySiri.**

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	4. Crushes

**Chapters coming on okay now. Please read bottom note.**

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**Crushes.**

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Harry spent the evening getting to know Lily and James as well as learning more about his fathers and Sirius, Remus, Draco and Neville. At ten he stood up and stretched, "I'm gonna head to bed, Is that okay?" He asked Lucius who smirked.

"You hardly need to ask permission to sleep Harry." Lucius teased and Harry poked his tongue out before walking to the door. "Hey, Harry..." Harry turned around to look at Neville, who had spoken, "I can kip in your room tonight... If you want... Maybe it'll help with... You'know."

"You don't mind?" Harry asked and Neville shook his head, "Well it hasn't been too bad since I found out about all... this." Then he sighed, "Drakey Babes?"

"Hmmm?" Draco said, casting a colour changing charm at Harry's hair, never taking his eyes off his book.

"Fancy a sleepover?" Harry asked, deflecting the charm with a flick of his wrist.

"Sure, why not?" Draco said, standing up and closing his book.

"Wait... What?" James was confused and the three teenagers grinned,

Harry took pity on the man, "We're all sleeping in my room tonight." He explained slowly, "Goodnight." He added and the three of them left the room.

"But why?" James yelled after them, receiving no answer. The other adults shook their heads in confusion.

Upstairs Harry, Neville and Draco had got changed and were settled in their beds. "So Uncle Sev read you the riot act yet?" Draco asked, smirking, Severus was the only one of his godparents that he called Uncle but that was because Severus had been his godfather even when he believed Lucius to be his real father.

"Yea." Harry muttered, "He said if I overstep the rules, by a long shot, then I'll get spanked!!"

Draco laughed, "Well Papa, that's Remus, threatened me with a spanking yesterday when I hit Nev. And I know Lily and James agree with spankings."

Neville nodded when he was sent a questioning look. "Haven't earnt it yet but I bet it wont be long." He muttered.

"I'd say you got off lightly, Sev and Lucius only ever give out spankings if you've done something especially bad, even when I was Lucius' son..." Draco smiled.

Harry was still worried, "It wont be like... bare will it?" He asked, his face pale.

Neville ran a hand through his hair before moving to comfort Harry. "Possibly, but you know Severus and Lucius would never hurt you like your Uncle did." Draco's eyes widened and he opened his mouth but closed it when Neville gave him a look.

"I know I just... I'm scared Nev." Harry said, a tear fell from his left eye,

Neville held Harry closer, "I know baby but it will be fine." He whispered, Harry broke down, clinging to Neville and sobbing into the other boys neck. "Shhhh, Everything's okay now Har." Neville whispered, "Everything's okay." He repeated as Harry's breathing evened out. Due to his lack of sleep the night before Harry had managed to cry himself to sleep and Neville lay him back against the pillows. "If you ever repeat what I am about to tell you to anyone else then I will personally kill you." Draco nodded numbly and Neville began to speak once more. "Harry was abused by his 'Uncle', For years and years. He was raped and then sold to some sick business men..."

Neville stopped talking as Draco leapt off the bed and ran into the bathroom. Neville summoned a glass of water and handed it to the blonde when he re-emerged. He understood what Draco was going through, when Harry had admitted his past to the boys in Gryffindor Tower most of them had thrown up. "Thanks." Draco muttered, taking the glass and downing it. "Do the adults know?"

"No, and they will only find out when Harry wants to tell them." Neville said, a look in his eyes that told Draco if he ever told the adults then he would be dead within a day. "Harry also self harms, don't try to stop him but if you catch him doing it make him take one of the blood replenishing potions in his trunk."

"Okay." Draco muttered, it was all a bit much to take in.

"Oh and Me, Har, Ron, Seamus and Dean are all blood brothers, since third year."

"Isn't that illegal?"

"Very."

"Bloody Gryffindors." Draco said making Neville laugh.

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"What's wrong?" Sirius muttered in Remus' ear, he'd noticed the werewolf wrinkle his nose when the boys walked in and that he'd been frowning ever since. "I smelt blood, not much but still blood." Remus said quietly.

"Maybe one of them had a nose bleed or something." Sirius said softly, stroking Remus' arm. He noticed Harry's eyes on them but when he looked at the teenager, Harry looked away. Sirius frowned slightly, wondering what was up with the teenager.

"Yea… you're probably right." Remus said quietly, "It's just… well Harry's seemed really unhappy lately…" Sirius turned to stare at Remus with wide eyes as he realised what the werewolf meant. "It's probably nothing." Remus added hurriedly, keeping his voice low, "But maybe we should mention it to Sev and Lucius."

"No… I mean, we know Harry better, maybe we should talk to him." Sirius replied, casting a silencing charm around them, unnoticed by the others in the room.

"He wont talk to me." Remus said sadly, "I don't know what I'm meant to have done but he seems angry."

"Don't take it personally Moo Moo, It's an age thing that's all… I bet even he doesn't know why he's angry at you. It'll all be sorted soon." Sirius leant over and kissed his husband, subtly removing the silencing charm at the same time.

"Eww." Draco moaned, "Get a room." He glanced at Harry, unsurprised to find him scowling at Remus through his frindge. Draco sighed, it was quite sick that his friend fancied his dad really.

"Foods ready." Severus said, poking his head around the door.

Everyone stood up and headed into the kitchen but as Harry passed him Sirius grabbed the boys arm, "Can we talk? After dinner?"

"Sure." Harry grinned,

"Great." Remus said and Harry's grin instantly disappeared.

"Yea. Great." The teenager muttered, turning and leaving the room.

Remus watched him go and sighed, then he turned and walked out in the other direction, Sirius frowned and followed him. He found his husband sat at the bottom of the stairs, head in his hands. "Remmie?"

"'M fine." Remus mumbled but didn't look up.

"Look, I'm sure there's a simple explanation for why he's acting like a twat." Sirius said, sitting next to his lover.

"Of course there is." Came James' voice from the top of the stairs, he walked down them and sat behind his two friends, "Just think about everytime he's given you a horrible look in the past." James said.

"It seems to be centred around when… when me and Rem are kissing or hugging or whatever." Sirius mumbled, suddenly understanding. "Oh god he…"

"Has a crush on you." James smirked, trying not to laugh at the disturbed look on Sirius' face.

Remus finally looked up, moving his hands off his face, his eyes were slightly red but he was smiling now, "That's it? The only reason he's mad at me is because he fancies Sirius and is jealous?!"

"Yup."

"But… But… He's my godson!!" Sirius gasped.

James shrugged, "Rem fancied his dad's friend when he was Harry's age right? Everyone likes an older guy, or girl sometimes, it's no biggy. Just treat him normally without letting him think he has a chance." James said, standing up again and stepping over Remus and Sirius, "Come on, Food time." He grinned, heading towards the kitchen.

Remus and Sirius exchanged a look, "Maybe we shouldn't talk to Harry later." Sirius muttered.

"What?!" Remus gasped, "Siri we have to. Besides it could help, the fact that he fancies you, he might open up to you a bit more."

"But… Then he'd think that we had a chance."

"Look Siri, we need to make sure Harry's not hurting himself, if this is the best way then…" Remus whispered.

Sirius sighed, "You're right." He muttered, "Come on, let's go get some food."

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"What did you want?" Harry asked, sitting next to Sirius on the sofa in the man's room.

"Well umm… I've noticed you've seemed a little bit upset lately. I just wanted to check you were okay."

Harry frowned slightly, "I'm fine." He said.

"Come on Har, you know you can talk to me." Sirius smiled, putting his hand on Harry's knee. He winced internally as Harry's face turned beet red.

"I… Everything's just confusing." Harry muttered.

Sirius smiled softly, "I know what you mean. Sometimes I feel like I have no control over anything."

"Exactly!" Harry said, "You just feel like a chess piece in somebody else's game."

"Ever want to do anything to regain control?" Sirius asked.

"Like what?" Harry replied, crossing his arms over his chest defensively.

Sirius shrugged, "Anything." Harry shook his head in reply, "I… Okay here's the thing, I kind of thought you might be trying to cope with everything by… by self harming." Sirius admitted.

"What?! No!!" Harry said, but he was acting too much and Sirius wasn't stupid.

"Oh god Harry." Sirius whispered, taking the boys arm and sliding his sleeve up, Harry tried to struggle away but Sirius was too strong and had already seen the scars and cuts. "Why?" Sirius asked and Harry stopped struggling to get away.

"It helps." He said quietly, "With… with everything."

"It's dangerous." Sirius said.

Harry shook his head, "Not really, I'm careful. Make sure I use a healing charm before I lose too much blood, and I drink a blood replenishing potion afterwards… I just… I feel so wrong, so dirty Sirius…" Harry whispered, tears in his eyes.

"Why do you feel dirty?" Sirius asked.

"Voldemort's in my head… He might not be working alone but he's still a bastard… He kills these muggles and sometimes he… he rapes them. It's sick Siri… And I feel so helpless, and so dirty because I can't do anything about it! I'm pathetic, just like Vernon said."

"He said what?!"

Harry winced. "It's nothing, really Siri."

Sirius scowled, "No it is not nothing, he can't get to talk to you like that."

"Please leave it." Harry begged, putting his hand on top of Sirius' which was still on his knee.

"I..." Sirius trailed off, swallowing hard. Harry stared at him for a moment before leaning forwards and kissign him firmly.

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**Okay so should Sirius kiss back? And if so should it go further than a kiss? Should it be an affair or a one time thing and should anyone find out, if so then who?**

**Couples that have been currently asked for are Sirius/Harry, Harry/Draco, Harry/Draco/Neville, James/Remus and a bit of swinging between the couples that are Severus/Lucius and Sirius/Remus.**

**What are your views on these couples? Are there any more you would like?**


	5. Di'n wanna die

**Previously:_ "Please leave it." Harry begged, putting his hand on top of Sirius' which was still on his knee._**

_**"I..." Sirius trailed off, swallowing hard. Harry stared at him for a moment before leaning forwards and kissing him firmly.**_

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**~*~ This chapter is pretty angsty. Contains self harm, if this offends you please do not read. ~*~**_**  
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**"Di'n wanna die."**

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Sirius froze as he felt Harry's lips touch his own, he stupidly opened his mouth to say something and Harry slid his tongue inside Sirius' mouth, kissing him passionately. Sirius finally realised what was happening and pulled away. "Harry." He said, taking a deep breathe, Harry stared at him, "Look… I love Remus… I couldn't do this to him, or to Draco."

"They don't have to know." Harry shrugged, his eyes showing his fear of being rejected.

"It doesn't work like that Harry." Sirius said softly, "It's just not right… or fair for anything to happen between us."

"But…" Harry sighed, "But if you weren't with Remus you would kiss me back?" He asked.

Sirius frowned, "You're my godson."

"Yea but…"

"Look, you're a good looking guy Harry but…"

Harry looked into Sirius' eyes, "I want… no I need you." He whispered.

Sirius groaned, "Harry…" He started but was cut off as Harry kissed him again, Sirius couldn't help it, he kissed back, his tongue clashing with Harry's as Harry's hand slid up Sirius' thigh. Sirius pulled away when Harry moaned into the kiss, "Harry, this can't happen." He said, slightly breathlessly, "I love Remus."

"He wont find out." Harry whispered desperately, then there was the sound of someone clearing their throat and Harry and Sirius jumped, not having heard the door open. Remus was stood in the doorway, a slightly amused look on his face.

"Rem…" Sirius started but trailed off as he realised he had no idea what to say.

"Do you mind? We were having a private conversation." Harry snapped.

Sirius' eyes widened, "Harry! Don't talk to Remus like that. Apologise now." He ordered before realising how ridiculous it was that he was making Harry apologise for being rude rather than apologise for trying to kiss Remus' husband!! Remus and Harry obviously thought he was stupid and were giving him strange looks, Sirius blushed slightly.

Remus crossed the room and went and sat opposite Harry and Sirius, he cast a glance at Harry's hand which was still on Sirius' thigh, Harry quickly moved it, biting at his lip. Remus gave him a slightly reassuring smile and Harry flushed. "I…"

"It's okay, we've all been there." Remus said softly, "Feels like the best feeling in the world right? Teenage crushes." Harry flushed even more but gave a tiny nod. "Still, they don't generally amount to much." Remus added, keeping his voice light, Sirius winced slightly and looked at his husband who's eyes hardened. "Although I suppose kissing someone you fancy is a better way of dealing with teenage stress than your other way of coping, which is what we really need to talk about." Remus told Harry who instantly paled.

"I…" The teenager stuttered, "I don't want to talk about it."

Remus sighed, "We have to."

"NO!"

"Harry if you wont talk to us about this then we'll have to tell Sev and Lucius." Remus said, Harry glanced at Sirius who looked guilty as he nodded his affirmation of what Remus had said.

"You'll tell them anyway I know what you're like." Harry spat, leaping up and running out of the room.

"Well that went well." Remus muttered to himself.

Sirius sighed, "Rem… How long were you stood there?"

"Long enough to know you kissed him back." Remus spat, giving his husband a filthy look,

Sirius bit his lip, "But I did pull back." He pointed out.

"Eventually, and even then it seemed like you were going to give in and fuck him." Remus scowled.

"Don't you trust me?" Sirius asked, looking devastated.

Remus sighed, "I'm trying, but you don't make it easy by kissing Harry back… and I saw you staring at Lucius adoringly yesterday."

"You were staring at Severus!" Sirius replied angrily, he only said it to annoy Remus and so was surprised when the man turned red.

"Speaking of Sev and Luc we need to tell them what's going on." Remus said through clenched teeth before he stood up and left the room. Sirius frowned before following him.

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Harry closed and locked the bathroom door before sitting down with his back to the wall. God what a fucked up day, first he'd screwed up with Sirius and now he and Remus would hate him, the only reason they'd been so calm was because of the cutting… Harry groaned at the thought of having to discuss his self harming with Severus and Lucius, they wouldn't understand, and they'd want to know why…He couldn't tell them about Vernon… they'd think he was a sick, disgusting little bastard. Harry grabbed his razor off the side of the bath and slid his sleeve up. He drew the blade across his arm and gave a sigh of relief as he felt the warm blood trickle down his arm, relishing the pain he felt. Suddenly angry Harry slashed at his arm again, and again, letting out a scream as he did so. Blood poured out of the wounds Harry had made but he barely noticed as he made more and more cuts, trying to get all the guilt of kissing Sirius and betraying Remus and Draco from his body. "Harry?" Came Lucius' voice from behind the door, "Are you in there?" Harry looked up at the door and was about to reply when he realised how dizzy he felt, and how much blood was on the floor.

"Help." He croaked.

"Harry?" Lucius asked, casting an unlocking charm on the door, "Oh god." He yelled when he saw the state of his son.

"Help me." Harry begged, his eyes slowly drifting shut.

"SEVERUS!!" Lucius yelled, "Stay awake Harry, please stay awake." The older man begged as Severus, Lily and James ran into the room.

"Shit." Lily said, kneeling next to Harry and casting healing charms on his arm. "I need some blood replenishing potions." She told Severus who just stood there staring at Harry. "NOW SEV!" Lily yelled and Severus suddenly came too and ran out of the room. "James, go and keep Draco and Nev out of the way, they don't need to see this." Lily said quietly, James nodded and left, "Harry can you hear me?" Lily asked softly.

"Di'n wanna die." Harry slurred.

"I know sweetie. You have to stay awake for me okay?" Lily said, "Just keep talking."

"Don' wanna be his whore." Harry mumbled as Severus ran back into the room with the potions,

"Swallow this." He told his son and Harry did as he was told when Severus held the vial to his lips. Lucius was stood in the doorway looking scared so Lily decided to give him a job to do to keep his mind off the blood on the floor. "Fetch Sirius, he knows more about blood loss than I do. And make Harry some coffee, he has to stay awake." She ordered, Lucius nodded and turned to leave. "Reckon you can carry Harry into the bedroom?" Lily asked Severus once Lucius was gone, Severus nodded and picked the teenager up, "C'n walk." Harry mumbled, Severus ignored him, putting him on the bed in the room. Lily cast a quick spell to get rid of the blood off the bathroom floor and then walked over to Harry, casting a diagnostic charm. Sirius walked in and took one look at Harry before rushing to his side. "Diagnostics say he's fine." Lily said.

"They would. Harry? Can you hear me?"

"Yea." Harry mumbled, "I'm sorry for…"

"That's okay." Sirius whispered, I need you to put your hand next to mine and push against mine as hard as you can okay?" Harry did as he was told and Sirius turned to Severus, "You gave him a blood replenisher right?"

"Yea, maximum strength." The spy replied.

"Seems to be working." Sirius smiled, "You can stop now." He told Harry. "You're going to have to stay awake for the next hour or so, no matter how tired you feel. The more the potion gets to work the more you can do, so in about quarter of an hour we can get you out of those clothes and into some clean ones, maybe run you a bath as well." Sirius said, Harry just stared at him. "You'll feel tired and achy for a week or so because you lost a hell of a lot of blood, the potion is helping you restore it slowly because going too fast would shock your system." Sirius added, Harry stared at his godfather a bit longer before nodding. Lucius walked in with a mug of coffee and he sat on the edge of the bed, helping Harry sip the coffee a bit. "Can I have a word?" Sirius asked Severus, Lucius and Lily who all nodded and moved away from Harry. "Don't question him about it, not until he is much better… Any extra stress could close his body down. Putting him in a coma." Sirius told them.

"So he needs to rest?" Severus asked.

"He can get up and out of bed tomorrow, that's good since Molly Weasley's coming over. Just don't stress him out for a few days after that, I'll keep checking on how he's doing and once his body is completely recovered then you can start talking to him about it." Sirius said, "Stay awake Harry." He added loudly, noticing the boys eyes beginning to close.

"Fuck off." Harry mumbled making Sirius laugh, he walked back over to the teenager.

"We can hook up a dvd and television in here if it would help you stay awake."

Harry shook his head, "Nah. 'M okay." He said.

"You feeling any better?"

"Getting less dizzy." Harry said softly, Sirius nodded, that was a good sign. "Could you get everyone to leave?" Harry asked quietly, "they're making me nervous."

"I can't leave you alone in case you fall asleep." Sirius said regretfully.

"So you stay." Harry muttered, seeing Sirius' look he added, "I wont try and jump you don't worry."

Sirius sighed, "It's not that," He said quietly so that the three by the door wouldn't hear. "I need to talk to Rem that's all."

Harry winced, "Is he really angry?"

"No, we just need to talk about some stuff." Sirius said softly, "I'll get someone else to sit with you, and I'll be back in quarter of an hour to see if you have enough strength to get changed, don't want you in those clothes for ever do we?!"

Harry glanced down at his blood covered shirt and winced, "Can't you spell it off?" He asked.

"It's a strong stain, nothing magic'll get rid of I'm afraid. So who would you like to sit with you?" Sirius asked.

Harry frowned as he thought, his fathers would ask questions, Lily would cry… "James." He decided, "If he doesn't mind." He added.

"Of course he wont." Sirius smiled, he pressed a soft kiss to Harry's forehead before walking over to the thee by the door and having a quick discussion. Lily left the room, presumably to find James, and Severus and Lucius walked over to Harry.

"How you feeling?" Severus asked.

"Better." Harry muttered,

"Good… That's good. Sirius said you wanted James to sit with you so… well we'll be down the corridor if you need us." Severus said, sounding upset.

"I will talk to you… Just later… I promise." Harry whispered, tears in his eyes.

"Its' fine." Lucius said, desperate not to upset the boy and put him in a coma. Both men kissed Harry's forehead before leaving the room, leaving Harry and Sirius alone. "Listen, about earlier…" Harry started.

"Don't. It's fine." Sirius interrupted.

"No… I… I don't know why I did it… I really never planned to… I promise I didn't want to split you and Rem up and hurt you both I just… I just wanted … I dunno…" Harry trailed off, "Tell Remus I'm sorry?" He asked.

"Sure, but it's fine. He understands." Sirius soothed. The door opened and James walked in, he smiled at Harry and went and sat in the chair next to the bed, "I'll see you in a while." Sirius promised the teenager before leaving the room.

"I bought this Quidditch book for Neville but apparently he's not into Quidditch…" James told Harry, "I can read it to you if you want."

"That would be lovely." Harry smiled.

James smiled back and opened the book "In 1978 Marsden Hancock became the first international Quidditch player to…"

* * *

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**Very angsty chap. Next one up soon, shoudl include Molly's visit and the adults talk with Harry, includign askign about the whore comment he made. **

**Anyways, hope you liked the chapter, if you did then let em know, and if you didn't for any reason then let me know anyway and I'll see if I can change what's wrong. All I ask is that you are constructive in your criticsm.**


	6. Molly visits

**Warnings: Contains mentions of self harm and rape.**

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**~*~*~*~*~*~**

**Molly visits.**

**~*~*~*~*~*~  
**

"Shit." Sirius muttered as he heard the floo go of in the other room, he and Lucius exchanged worried looks as they heard Remus say hello to Molly, the floo went off another two times, "Mione! Ron!" Sirius and Lucius heard Harry say with excitement. Lucius winced as he relised that the only way for them to leave the room they were in was to go through the living room where Molly was, "Quick." He hissed to Sirius, "In here." Lucius dragged Sirius into the closet at the side of the room and closed the door just as Molly Weasley walked in, "Thank god." Lucius murmured as the woman sat on the sofa, not noticing the closet door close.

"And how are you doing Harry dear?" Molly asked.

"Fine thanks." Harry smiled and, inside the closet, Lucius snorted, causing Sirius to raise his finger to his lips and make shushing gestures, luckily Molly didn't seem to notice the noise. "You're sure you're okay here with Remus?" Molly asked, Sirius let out a small growl at that and Remus' eyes shot to look towards the closet, Lucius clamped his hand over Sirius' mouth.

"Yea, It's really great." Harry said, "He's been telling me stories about my parents and Sirius… Kind of helps to deal with it all."

"Aww you poor child." Molly said, pulling Harry into a tight hug. Harry accepted the hug but pulled a face at Remus over the woman's shoulder.

"Would you like a tour of the house whilst Harry, Ron and Hermione talk?" Remus asked Molly, knowing she was far too nosy to resist, true to form Molly agreed and left the room with Remus.

"So what was the urgent news?" Hermione asked Harry who lay across the sofa and cast a silencing charm around them.

"Aww, I wanted to hear what he was saying." Sirius pouted.

"You already know what he's going to say." Lucius pointed out, laughing as he cast a charm to let himself and Sirius see through the closet door. Sirius poked his tongue out at his friend, making him laugh harder. When Lucius finally calmed down he asked, "So how are you and Remus?"

"Fine, why wouldn't we be?" Sirius asked defensively, sitting down on one of the boxes that was in the closet.

Lucius gave the other man an irritated look and sat opposite him, "Me and Sev are in the bedroom next to yours." He reminded Sirius. "And your silencing charms ain't so great, I mean it muffled the actual words being yelled but it was pretty obvious you were fighting…" Lucius sighed as Sirius turned away from him, looking out of the door towards where Harry was talking to Ron and Hermione who had shocked looks on their faces. "You and Rem had it worst out of us all." Lucius said quietly, "What with you being in Azkaban and him being alone… at least the rest of us generally stayed together."

"Rem slept with other people…" Sirius muttered, "And I'm not angry at him… he thought I was a traitor for Merlin's sake but… I can't get it out of my head ya know? And then he dared to not trust my commitment to him! To not trust that I'd pull back when a sixteen year old kisses me!" Sirius' voice had risen by now and he cut off quickly, looking out of the clear door to where Harry, Ron and Hermione were talking silently behind the charm.

"Harry kissed you?" Lucius asked, his face showing how shocked he was.

"He wanted me to stop asking about the Dursleys and his self harm." Sirius mumbled, deciding not to mention that he had kissed back briefly.

Lucius frowned slightly, "Oh." He murmured, "Look, you and Remus will be fine… You just need to take some time to talk properly." Sirius frowned but gave a small nod, putting his finger to his lips as Remus and Molly walked back into the room, Harry quickly disabled the silencing charm around himself, Ron and Hermione.

"Nice house, do you like it here Harry?" Molly asked.

"Yes, Mrs Weasley, It's cool." Harry smiled.

"Good, good… Well Remus has asked if Ronald and Hermione could stay for a few hours, give you a bit of company your own age. Would you like that?" Harry nodded shyly. "Very well, I should be off, Fred and George have stomach bugs and I've left Ginny looking after them. I'll be back in about four hours to pick you up." Molly explained, they all said goodbye to her and she flooed away.

There was absolute silence for a few seconds after she'd gone before Hermione said, "So who's hiding in the closet?" Remus snorted and crossed to the closet, opening the door to reveal Sirius and Lucius. Sirius gave his husband a small grin before walking across the room and being hugged by Ron and Hermione, "Should I be worried?" Remus asked Lucius, smirking slightly, Lucius frowned, "You and my husband… all alone in a closet." Remus added, grinning as Lucius flushed slightly.

"Well… If I was single and he was single…" The man smirked, before laughing and squeezing Remus' shoulder gently.

"He likes you." Remus burst out.

"What?" Lucius frowned.

"Sirius… I've seen him staring at you." Remus muttered, looking over to where Sirius was talking animatedly to Ron, Hermione and Harry.

"Doesn't mean he loves you any less." Lucius soothed, "I mean, just because I love Sev doesn't mean I can't look at other people right?"

"I guess." Remus muttered.

"Besides, the words pot, kettle and black come to mind." Lucius smirked, Remus frowned slightly, "I've seen you watching Severus Remmy… Don't try and deny it." Lucius smirked.

Remus turned crimson, "Yeah well… That's… I…."

"Oh don't worry, he thinks you're pretty cute too." Lucius grinned, patting Remus' shoulder before walking over to Harry who introduced him to Ron and Hermione,

"This is my dad… well one of them."

"Pleased to meet you." Hermione mumbled.

"And you, I've heard a lot about you." Lucius smiled, shaking her hand and then Ron's. Hermione smiled at the man but Ron held back slightly, obviously unable to just accept that Lucius wasn't the man he remembered.

The door opened and Neville, Draco, Lily, James and Severus walked in. "Heard the floo go off, figured she was gone." Lily explained. "Hey Nev." Ron grinned. They all spent the next few hours just getting to know Ron and Hermione, it took a while but finally the two teenagers felt more comfortable around the adults, Lucius and Severus made a special effort to get to know them, knowing just how important they were to Harry. Finally Ron said, "It was really great to speak to you all... My mum'll be back in an hour though so..." He trailed off and Harry smiled.

"We're just going upstairs for a bit. Is that okay?" Harry directed the question at Sirius since the man had given him a long lecture that morning about doing too much after yesterday.

"You need to ask Sev and Lucius but if you just sit down and talk, rest a bit, then I don't see how it could damage you." Sirius said making Ron frown,

Harry turned to Severus and Lucius, "Go on." Lucius smiled and Harry grinned, standing up and leaving the room with Ron and Hermione. "Do you reckon he'll tell them?" Lucius asked Severus quietly.

"Sure he will... I mean, he told me and Drake this morning." Neville chipped in having overheard, "And he's closer to Ron and 'Mione." Severus nodded slightly and frowned just a bit, leaning against Lucius a bit more.

**~*~*~*~*~*~*~HP~HP~*~*~*~*~*~*~**

"So guess what?" Lucius asked, closing his and Severus' bedroom door behind them as they hid from Molly's second visit. "What?"

"Sirius fancies me according to Remus, so I mentioned pots and kettles and he went crimson."

Severus gave Lucius a strange look, "Pots and kettles?"

"Cause Rem fancies you." Lucius grinned, leaping onto the bed and bouncing up and down a bit,

Severus had to smile at how childish the man looked, "Don't be ridiculous." He said in reply to Lucius' comment.

"Oh yeah, like you haven't noticed." Lucius snorted, grabbing Severus' arm and pulling him down onto the bed, "They're a cute couple..." Lucius added with a smirk, noting the mild curiosity in Severus' eyes.

"How can you even be making jokes now?" Severus asked, sitting up properly and scowling at his husband who gave a mock innocent look,

"Who says I'm joking?" He asked seductively, running his tongue along Severus' jaw line, his husband jerked away, "

Harry could have died yesterday." He growled, "And all you seem capable of doing is joking about foursomes."

"You ever think that maybe I'm distracting myself?!" Lucius snapped, glaring at Severus who at least had the decency to look ashamed.

"I... I'm sorry... I didn't think." Severus muttured, resting his head on Lucius' shoulder, the man tensed but another whispered apology had him wrapping his arm around Severus.

"Wat do you think Harry meant when he said he didn't want to be 'his whore' anymore?" Lucius asked quietly.

"Well, I would say he was maybe in a difficult relationship but then he kissed Sirius so -"

"HE WHAT??!!" Lucius roared.

Severus winced, "Keep your voice down. Harry kissed Sirius, mainly to shut him up when he was asking questions about the Dursleys."

"Oh, Them." Lucius growled, "We need to talk to him about them." He said quietly, running his hands through Severus' hair, the man nodded his agreement, "Although maybe only one of us should, you know so we don't scare him." Lucius said, he was about to suggest that Severus do it when the man said,

"You should... I saw those memoried in his Occlumency lessons, the memories where he was being yelled at and... I taunted him about it Luc." Tears streaked down Severus' cheeks and Lucius held him closer.

"That wasn't your fault." He said sternly, "That was all Dumbledore's doing."

"I know, I know I just... Maybe you should talk to Harry anyway. It'll be easier for him." Severus said, Lucius sighed but nodded before nipping at his husbands earlobe and making Severus moan and shove him backwards into the bed, kissing him fiercely. "Fucking love you." Severus moaned when they parted.

"Fucking love you too." Lucius smirked, gasping as Severus yanked his shirt off.

"You know what? You're right." Severus said suddenly, grinning up at Lucius who looked confused, "Sirius and Remus are a cute couple..." He murmured, laughing at Lucius' expression.

**~*~*~*~*~*~*~HP~HP~*~*~*~*~*~*~**

"Did you have a good day with Ron and Hermione?" Lucius asked Harry as the boy sat down,

Harry nodded, "Umm yea it was good," He muttered.

Lucius nodded and sat down opposite his son, "Harry... We have to talk about what happened yesterday." He said quietly, wincing slightly as he noticed Harry purse his lips. "We can't just ignore it..." Lucius added.

"I wasn't trying to kill myself." Harry insisted.

"I know... But you did cut yourself." Lucius pointed out, "And you must have had a reason for that." Harry simply shrugged and looked at the floor, Lucius sighed, "Tell me about the Dursleys." He said softly.

Harry's head shot up, "What about them?" He asked, his voice shaking.

"How did they treat you?" Lucius asked.

Harry was silent for a while as he tried to figure out what to say, "Petunia wasn't so bad." He said finally.

Lucius' eyes narrowed, "But Vernon?" He asked quietly.

Harry clenched his door, "I... He... He wasn't too nice... He..." Harry trailed off and Lucius frowned when he saw how much the teenager was shaking.

"Harry please... What did Vernon do?" Lucius asked, fear in his voice.

"He raped me okay!"

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**~*~*~*~*~*~*~HP~HP~*~*~*~*~*~*~**

**Hope you're enjoying the story, let me know what you think.**

**x**


	7. Revealed

**Previously: **_Harry clenched his door, "I... He... He wasn't too nice... He..." Harry trailed off and Lucius frowned when he saw how much the teenager was shaking. "Harry please... What did Vernon do?" Lucius asked, fear in his voice._

_"He raped me okay!"_

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**Revealed.**

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

"He raped me okay!" Harry screamed. Lucius sat there, frozen in shock, "He raped me... and then he sold me, like I was some cheap whore... I should have stopped him but I was too weak!!" Harry sobbed.

"Harry- "

"NO!" Harry yelled, leaping up and running from the room. Lucius cursed and stood up to follow his son, heading into the living room in a rush when he heard the floo go off. He was too late and screamed as he watched the fire turn back to normal.

Everyone came running into the room when they heard the scream, "What's going on?" Severus asked.

"He left! Harry left!" Lucius whispered.

"What?! Why?!" Severus yelled.

Neville cursed, "You pushed him into talking didn't you!" He sighed, gulping as Lucius grabbed hold of his shirt.

"You knew?" The older man growled, Neville took a big gulp of air, wondering what Lucius was going to do to him. But then Severus said his husband's name, he sounded terrified and Lucius dropped Neville's shirt, dropping onto the sofa and putting his head in his hands.

"Come on boys." Lily said quietly, taking Neville and Draco's arms and leading them out of the room, ignoring their protests.

"Luc?" Severus asked, sitting next to his husband.

"Vernon raped Harry." Lucius whispered, the room went absolutely silent.

"What?" Severus croaked eventually.

Lucius nodded, tears streaking down his cheeks, "He raped him and then... Then he sold him... Like some prostitute."

"I'll fucking kill him." Sirius growled, halfway to the door already, Remus grabbed his husband's arm.

The werewolf took a deep breathe, knowing the other men wouldn't like what he was going to say, "It's not Vernon who's to blame." he said, wincing slightly as everyone sent him stunned and slightly angry looks, "I mean, we don't even know who the man really is and Merlin knows what Dumbledore did to his mind!" Remus rushed to say, "It's Dumbledore who's at fault here. And anyway the important thing right now is finding Harry."

"He's right." Severus said, "Where could he have gone?"

James frowned, "Maybe we should ask Neville, he and Harry are close." He said, the others agreed and James left the room to go and get his son. Sirius sat next to Lucius and squeezed the man's knee gently, hoping to comfort him.

"Would he have gone to the Burrow?" Remus asked Neville when the teenager walked into the room with James.

"No, that would lead to to many questions from Molly... Umm... Might have gone to Seamus' but it's more likely he's at the Leaky Couldron."

"The pub?" Severus asked, not sounding too sure.

Neville nodded, "Yeah. He'll be really upset so will want to just forget what he's told you by getting very drunk."

"Doesn't Tom know he's underage?" Remus asked.

Neville resisted the urge to roll his eyes, "Of course he does. Look now's not the time to get into the underage drinking argument with Tom. If you're going to get Harry then only one of you should go, otherwise he'll freak out even more than he already is."

"I'll go." Lucius said, "It was me he told so I should go..." He trailed off before planting a soft kiss to Severus' lips and crossing to the floo. Everyone watched as he flooed away then Severus turned to Neville who gulped, "He told me in fourth year! I promised not to tell anyone! When we found out about you guys being his parents I said he should tell you but he refused, he's my friend and I have to respect his wishes." The teenager tried to explain.

Severus gave him a filthy look and Neville flinched, "Come on." James said softly, wrapping an arm around his son and leading him out of the room.

**~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~HP~HP~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~**

Lucius looked around the pub, spotting his son sat alone int he corner he crossed the room, "Harry..." Harry looked up, his eyes wide, Lucius took the bottle of firewhisky off his son. "Let's go somewhere quiet to talk." He said gently.

Harry seemed torn before he finally nodded, "I booked a room upstairs." He muttered, pulling the key out of his pocket. They both headed upstairs, Lucius making sure that Harry went in front so that he couldn't run away.

"I want you to know that your father and I love you very much, no matter what okay?" Lucius said as he shut the door behind them. Harry simply watched as his father sat down, "When... When did Vernon do this?" Lucius asked, trying to ignore the want to vomit.

There was a slight pause and Harry emotionally removed himself from the conversation, "Started when I was seven, sold me for the first time when I was eight. Stopped selling me when I started Hogwarts but still occasionally fucked me during the summer holidays."

Lucius raised his hand to his mouth at how calm Harry sounded, the need to vomit was becoming overwhelming. "Why didn't you tell anyone?" He asked finally.

"No-one would have believed me... And he said he'd kill me if I did. I was seven, I was scared." Harry mumbled. "Look it's... It's fine, bad stuff happens... Just gotta deal with it."

"Harry..."

"No! Please don't go after Vernon! It wasn't his fault. His head's been screwed about with..." Harry begged.

Lucius nodded, "That's what Remus said." He muttered, "But it's not fine Harry... This... You aren't coping with it, and I don't blame you, it's not something that's easily coped with. Maybe you need someone to talk to about it..."

"Like a shrink?" Harry asked, he crossed the room to the minibar and pulled out a bottle of firewhisky, ignoring Lucius' raised eyebrows.

"Perhaps." Lucius said finally.

"I don't like that idea." Harry said, drinking some more.

Lucius sighed, "Remus was trained as a psychiatrist..." He offered.

"No," Harry yelped, "I... I can't talk to him. I... He's mad at me..." He stuttered before turning away and drinking some more firewhisky.

"He's not mad Harry." Lucius said softly.

"Oh great, they told you about that stupid kiss too!" Harry groaned, grabbing another bottle of firewhisky.

Lucius walked over and took it off him and Harry scowled, "You shouldn't drink." Lucius said.

"Whatever." Harry muttered. "Look I wont talk to Remus okay?" He added crossly.

Lucius nodded, "Fine, not Remus. But you should talk to someone, most healers take a magically binding vow not to reveal what they are told." He said.

Harry pulled a face, "I'll think about it." He said quietly, then he raised his hand to his mouth.

"Are you okay?" Lucius asked, Harry nodded before promptly throwing up on Lucius' shoes. Lucius groaned and cast a cleaning charm before helping Harry over to the bed and turning the empty firewhisky into a bucket just in time for Harry to vomit into it. "Drinking on an empty stomach is never a good idea." Lucius pointed out as he held Harry's hair back and rubbed circled on the boy's back. When Harry finally stopped throwing up he leant his head against Lucius' shoulder, "You should get some sleep, I'll apparate us back when you're sleeping." Lucius said gently, "I love you son." He whispered as Harry began to drift off.

"Love you too dad." Harry mumbled.

**~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~HP~HP~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~**

"How is he?" Severus asked as Lucius walked into the living room and sat next to him, "Is he okay?"

"He's coping way better than I expected." Lucius replied, "Got a bit drunk and ended up throwing up. He said he'd think about seeing a psychiatrist though..."

"That's good." Severus smiled, wrapping his arms around Lucius, "Where is he now?"

"Fast asleep in his room." Lucius said softly, resting his head on Severus' shoulder and pressing a soft kiss to the man's neck.

The door to the living room opened and Remus walked in, "Hey, you're back... How's Harry?" He asked, sitting opposite the two men, Lucius repeated what he'd told Severus and then added, "I did tell him that you'd trained as a psychiatrist but he said he wasn't going to talk to you, he thought you were mad at him for that thing with Sirius..."

Remus groaned, "I told him it was okay... I'll talk to him again." He said.

"Okay well, he might still decide not to talk to you..." Lucius murmured.

Remus nodded, "Sometimes it's easier to talk to strangers." He said, flushing slightly as he watched Lucius' hand slide up Severus' shirt and begin to trace patterns on his stomach, he couldn't help but wish that it was him doing that and flushed even more at the thought. "Umm... I have to go see Sirius." He mumbled in a rush before racing out of the room.

"What the fuck was that about?" Severus asked.

"He likes you." Lucius said, "I already told you that."

"Yeah but..." Severus trailed off, unsure what to say.

Lucius smirked, "You can kiss him if you want." He said, laughing as Severus' eyebrows shot up, "I love you, I know you love me... Kissing someone else wouldn't change that..."

"I don't want to kiss him!" Severus almost shrieked, "And I doubt Sirius would be too happy."

"Oh I dunno... He might like it." Lucius grinned, breaking into giggles at Severus' expression, the door opened and Lucius giggled even more as Sirius walked in, he calmed down when he saw James following. "Is Neville still awake?" Lucius asked.

"No. He went to sleep several hours ago." James replied, keeping his voice even.

Lucius nodded, "I'll apologise tomorrow." He decided, seeing everyone's expressions he explained, "I don't like the fact that he kept something like that from us but I shouldn't have reacted the way I did."

James shrugged, "You were in shock, he'll understand."

Severus kissed Lucius gently before saying, "Come on, let's go to bed. It's been a long day." Lucius nodded and stood up, saying goodnight to James and Sirius before leaving the room, Severus following him close behind.

* * *

_**I'm not sure about ghis chapter, I had written a different one that I quite liked but then broke my memory stick and lost it so... I dunno... Let me know what you think. **_

_**SexySiri.**_


	8. Pancakes

_**Sirius and Harry talk, Harry hides away from everyone and Remus and Severus get closer.**_

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**~*~*~*~*~*~*~**

**Pancakes.**

**~*~*~*~*~*~*~**

Sirius woke up at six the next morning, he smiled when he glanced at Remus asleep next to him and pulled himself out of the bed, getting dressed quickly before leaving the room. Once he'd been to the loo he headed into the kitchen and was surprised to find Harry there, sat at the table reading a book, "Morning." Sirius said gently.

"Morning." Harry said, not looking up from his book, "Want coffee?" He added, "There's some in the pot."

"Thanks." Sirius smiled, pouring himself a mug of the black liquid.

"You don't by any chance happen to know where there might be a headache potion do you?" Harry asked quietly, still not looking up from his book. Sirius opened the top cupboard and pulled out a hangover potion, handing it to Harry, "Thanks." The teenager said finally looking up, "They told you didn't they... About Vernon?" He whispered.

"Yes they did... And I am so, so sorry that I never knew before, that I never helped you..." Sirius said as Harry drank the potion and closed his book, putting it to one side.

"I made the decision not to tell you..." Harry said, "There was no way you could have known." He tried to reassure Sirius but the older man simply shrugged. "Are you and Remus okay?" Harry asked, changing the subject, he was worried he might have caused them to split up.

"We're getting there." Sirius sighed, seeing Harry's guilty expression he added, "There's much more to it than just that kiss Harry... It's complicated. We've needed to sit down and talk for a while now..."

"You kissed me back." Harry said quietly.

"I shouldn't have done." Sirius replied.

Harry nodded, "So why did you?" He asked, looking up at Sirius.

Sirius bit at his lip, "I... I don't know." He said quietly,

"If Remus hadn't walked in...?" Harry trailed off, turning the sentence into a question. Sirius sighed, he'd really hoped they wouldn't have to have this conversation.

Harry continued to look at Sirius as the man sipped his coffee, trying to think of a reply, "I'd already pulled back." He pointed out eventually.

"True." Harry muttered, he bit at his lip, "Do you think... Never mind." He muttered, looking away from Sirius.

Sirius sighed again, "It was a mistake, Harry." He said quietly, making the boy look at him, "It shouldn't have happened, And it never will again. Okay? I'm sorry but that's just the way it is."

Harry gave a small nod and Sirius flinched as he saw tears in the teenagers eyes, "I'm gonna go back to bed for a bit." Harry mumbled, standing up and turning to leave the kitchen, Sirius grabbed his arm, "Harry..."

"Don't worry, I wont slit my wrists." Harry muttered, almost bitterly before pulling his arm away and leaving the room, shoving past Remus who had just reached the door,

"What was that all about"? Remus asked Sirius as he watched Harry walk down the corridor.

"I told him that there was no way anything would happen between us." Sirius said, looking down at his mug of coffee.

Remus nodded, going to sit next to his husband and taking Sirius' hand, "He didn't take it too well then?"

Sirius shook his head, "Nah." He muttered before looking up at Remus and smiling, "What do you want for breakfast?"

**_~*~*~*~*~HP~HP~*~*~*~*~_**

Neville was just leaving his bedroom when he bumped into Draco, they headed down to the kitchen together as they reached the door Lucius approached them, "Can I have a word?" Lucius asked Neville who frowned slightly before nodding and following the man down the hall, "I want to apologise for yesterday, I was out of order treating you the way I did." Lucius said as they walked.

"That's okay." Neville smiled, "I totally understand... And I am sorry for keeping it from you but Harry insisted and... well to be honest I still don't know you all that well." He explained apologetically. Lucius frowned, the boy was right, the kids had all been spending time getting to know their own parents that they hadn't really bonded with the other adults, apart from Harry with Remus and Sirius and Draco with Lucius and Severus but that didn't count since they'd already known them. "Well we'll have to fix that wont we." Lucius said, smiling down at Neville, Neville grinned back and they headed back towards the kitchen.

Remus and Sirius were sat, talking quietly with Draco at the end of the table whilst James made some pancakes. "Pancakes okay?" He asked Neville and Lucius as they walked in, "I'm making enough for everyone."

"Sweet." Neville grinned, sitting down at the table.

"Have a good sleep?" James asked his son.

Neville shrugged, "Yeah, not bad." He said, "This place is really warm though." He added.

James nodded as he flipped a pancake, "I'll teach you a room cooling charm if you like." He offered and Neville grinned, thanking his dad.

The door opened and Severus walked in, he crossed to Lucius and hugged his husband, "You should have woken me." He murmured quietly.

"You needed sleep." Lucius replied softly, kissing him.

"I saw Harry." Severus told Lucius quietly so that the others wouldn't hear, "I'm not quite sure why but he's refusing to come down to the kitchen for breakfast so i said I'd take some food up to him, you want to come?"

Lucius nodded and stood up, "Can we have those?" He asked James, nodding to the three pancakes just made, "Gonna go chat to Harry over breakfast."

"Sure thing." James smiled and Lucius took the plate, Severus grabbed some fruit off the table as well as a couple of yogurts and they left the room, heading up to their son's bedroom. The teenager was pacing around his bedroom and looked up when they walked in, "Bought you breakfast." Severus smiled, Harry gave a small smile in reply and they all sat down on his bed, Harry grabbed one of the oranges Severus had bought up and began to peel it,

"You planning on staying up here all day?" Lucius asked quietly.

"Dunno." Harry shrugged, shoving a piece of orange into his mouth. "Might do. Might hang out with Nev and Draco." He muttered.

Lucius nodded, "We should probably talk some more... about Vernon." He said softly.

"No." Harry relied coldly, "No talking.

Severus sighed, "Harry we can't just let it lie..." He said.

"Yes you can." Harry growled.

"Harry..." Lucius tried.

"Oh just piss off and leave me alone!" Harry yelled, jumping off the bed and leaving the room. He was halfway down the corridor when he crashed into Draco, sending him sprawling to the floor, "Watch where you're going!" Draco yelled, clutching at his wrist which he'd knocked as he fell.

"Sorry." Harry muttered.

"'S'okay." Draco replied, "Come on, Lon- Neville's in his room, let's go chat to him." He smiled, seeing that Harry seemed upset and needed a distraction. Harry gave a tight smile and followed Draco to Neville's room.

"Hey." Neville smiled as they walked in, he held his arms out and Harry went and sat next to him on the bed, letting himself be drawn into a hug. "You okay? Had me worried yesterday." Neville said.

"'m'sorry." Harry mumbled, "I'm fine, Everyone's treating me like I'm gonna break though." He added, pulling a face.

Neville laughed and squeezed his friend closer before letting him go, "Game of chess? Or Snap, three can play snap." He said, remembering that Draco was there too.

"Snap sounds great." Harry grinned and Draco nodded his agreement too.

**_~*~*~*~*~HP~HP~*~*~*~*~_**

"Hey, you okay?" Remus asked, sitting next to Severus, seeing how upset the man seemed.

Severus shrugged, "Harry's refusing to talk... It's really getting to Luc... He yelled at me, I know it's not his fault and that he's just stressed but... God Rem. It's so crap." Severus whispered, resting his head on Remus' shoulder.

Remus ran his hand through his friend's hair, sorting out the tangles there, "It'll be okay in the end Sev." He whispered soothingly. Severus looked up at his friend and moved closer, licking his lips slightly, Remus glanced at him nervously, but closed his eyes as his lips neared his. They kissed each other tenderly. Remus's arms instantly folded around Severus's back and he felt himself pushed down onto the sofa. Remus groaned softly as Severus slid on top him and clutched his arms as he kissed him hard. Severus's mouth pressed against his and his tongue pushed its way inside his mouth. Remus ran his hands through Severus's hair and thrust his hips forward their erections rubbing together through the material of their trousers; he moaned Severus's name softly as Severus's hands slid down his chest and stroked over his stomach. Remus found himself unbuttoning Severus's shirt and his hands disappeared inside it and ran over his bare skin. Remus held Severus and the two stared at each other when the kiss broke and they both panted for air. Severus glanced down and found his and Remus's hard cocks pushing against each other and their hands on each other's chests. He glanced at Remus who looked back at him just as stunned at the position they found themselves in. "We shouldn't have done that." Severus whispered his forehead resting on Remus', he jerked away suddenly, "We should really not have done that." He stood up quickly and left the room, leaving Remus lying back on the sofa feeling more confused than ever.

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_**Please review and let me know what you think.**_


	9. Kisses

_**Hmm...**_

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**Kisses...**

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"Are you okay? You're being really quiet... Is it 'cause I yelled at you earlier? I'm really sorry about that, I was out of order and -"

"I kissed Remus!" Severus whispered, interrupting Lucius' apology.

Lucius stopped in his tracks, "Wha- What?" He croaked, watching as Severus sat down on the edge of the bed, tears streaking down his cheeks.

"I'm so sorry." The spy sobbed, "All the stuff with Harry, and then you yelling at me... It just got too much and Remus was there, and he was saying all the right things, that everything would be okay.... and... I'm so sorry."

Lucius sat down next to his husband and pulled him into a tight hug, "It's okay." He whispered, kissing Severus' head gently, and it was... Okay so he felt the slight feelings of jealousy but mainly he felt guilty, guilty for yelling at Severus when the man had needed him.

"I'm sorry." Severus whispered again, sobbing into Lucius' shirt.

"It's okay." Lucius repeated, stroking Severus' hair as he cradled him close, "Besides... I said you could didn't I?!" He added with a laugh, running his thumb along Severus' forehead and trying to smooth out the wrinkles there, unfortunately his words only seemed to make Severus sob louder. There was a small knock on the door and both men looked up, "Yeah?" Lucius called out and was surprised when Remus walked in.

"I just... wanted to make sure you were okay." The werewolf said, looking at Severus and biting at his lip.

"He's fine." Lucius said, a hint of coldness in his voice.

Remus flinched, realising that Severus had told Lucius everything, "I am so sorry." He said, avoiding the man's eyes.

"It's fine." Lucius replied, stroking Severus' hair. Remus sighed slightly before giving a small nod and leaving, hoping his friendship with the two hadn't been too messed up by this. Severus buried his head in Lucius' chest as he continued to sob and the man sighed, holding his husband close and wishing he could make it all better.

**_~*~*~*~*~*~HP~HP~*~*~*~*~*~_**

"I'm bored." Draco said again. They'd played loads of snap and it was getting boring, they;d tried chess but someone was always left out.

"So think of somethign to do." Harry drawled in reply, he was lying with his legs up on the wall and his head dangling off the bed.

"We could have a threesome." Neville suggested with a cheeky grin.

"Your suggestion has been taken into account." Harry smiled, "It will be ignored, but it has been taken into account." He added making the other two laugh.

"Could play dares." Draco suggested.

Harry pulled a face, "Oh god, that is so childish." He whined.

"You got a better idea?" The blonde snapped, Harry shrugged,

Neville grinned, "Dares it is!"

_**~*~*~*~*~*~HP~HP~*~*~*~*~*~**_

Lily sat down and rested her head against James' shoulder, he smiled and wrapped an arm around her. "Do you think they'll be okay?" Lily asked quietly.

"Who?" James frowned.

"Severus, Lucius... Harry." Lily whispered.

James smiled, planting a soft kiss to Lily's forehead, "They'll be fine." He said softly, "They're strong and they have us to help them." He added,

The door opened then and Remus looked around it. "Jay, Can I talk to you?" He asked.

James frowned, "Sure." He said, giving Lily a soft smile before following Remus out of the room and into one of the studies.

Remus locked the door, "I... I kissed Severus..." He whispered, "And I am so confused." He added before breaking down. James immediately wrapped his arms around Remus before summoning a calming potion and making him drink it.

When Remus finally calmed down James led him over to the sofa, "What do you mean you kissed Sev?" He asked quietly.

"Was comforting him 'cause him and Lucius rowed... We just sort of kissed, then he ran off..." Remus mumbled. "He told Lucius... I'm so confused Jay." Remus added, tears streaking down his cheeks, "I love Sirius, really love him... But I'm so attracted to Sev."

"Well you'll just have to fight that attraction wont you?"James said sternly, "Severus and Lucius have got enough going on right now." He knew he was probably being too harsh but he couldn't bear the thought of Lucius and Severus having to deal with some stupid crush on top of everything else.

More tears fell from Remus' eyes, "I'm a bad person" He whispered.

"No!" Of course you're not!" James sighed, "Look, You love Sirius, you know that, so you just have to ignore these feelings for Severus and they will pass. Okay?" Remus nodded, knowing that James was right, he rubbed at his eyes. James hugged his friend close, "It'll be okay." He promised.

"Should I tell Sirius about... about kissing Severus?" Remus asked.

James nodded, "If Severus told Lucius then yeah, it's better Siri hears it from you." He said, Remus nodded, knowing that Sirius would be upset anyway but if Lucius told him then he'd be furious. "Thanks Jay, you seem to be the only one of us actually holding it together." Remus murmured.

"Yeah." James murmured, deciding not to mention that he was just better at hiding how screwed up he was than the others were.

_**~*~*~*~*~*~HP~HP~*~*~*~*~*~**_

"I dare you to..." Harry let out a sigh, unable to think of anything, then he grinned, "I dare you to give Draco a love bite on his neck!"

"What?!" Draco gasped.

Neville pulled a face, "Come on Harry..."

Harry simply carried on grinning, "I dared ya!" He smirked.

Neville sighed and glanced over at Draco, "Hickey's are so common." The blonde pouted but he brushed his hair out of the way and leant his neck sideways. Neville moved closer, he leant forwards and pressed his mouth to Draco's neck, licking the skin before sucking at it gently. Draco bit at his lip to stop himsel from moaning out loud, especially when Neville nipped at the skin softly. Neville pulled back and surveyed his work, giving an appreciative nod, Draco glanced in the mirror and almost smiled when he saw the purple mark, "So common." He repeated making Harry laugh.

"You know, that was kind of hot." Harry smirked.

Draco rolled his eyes, "Glad we could satisfy your whoreness." He drawled making Neville laugh.

The door opened and Lucius poked his head around, "Harry can I have a word?" He asked quietly, Harry pulled a face before having some sort of silent conversation with Neville using only their eyebrows, finally he sighed and followed his dad from the room.

Draco watched them go before sighing and laying back on the bed, "What's up?" Neville asked.

"It's strange... The adults all seem to be coping okay but... Well... I miss my dad! Lucius I mean... I just... I miss hanging out with him and stuff, and it's just like he's almost completely forgotten about me! All he cares about now is Harry."

Neville sighed, "They've got a lot on their minds right now with Harry." He said softly, "But I'm sure if you spoke to Lucius he misses you too..."

"I guess... I just get a tad jealous sometimes. My own 'new' parents seem to be in their own little world half the time." Draco muttered. "It's like nobody cares."

"I care." Neville said quietly, sliding his hand onto Draco's knee.

Draco raised an eyebrow, "Thought you were straight." He said.

Neville shrugged, "Curious." He replied, "Just curious." Draco smirked then and sat up pressing his lips to Neville's gently, the other boy's hand moved to touch the back of Draco's neck as he opened his mouth, giving entrance to Draco's tongue. The kiss deepened and Draco ran his hand through Neville's hair before pulling back, "Still curious?" He asked breathlessly.

"Hell yes."

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_**Okay,couple of questions, firstly someone said that it would be good if James was the one who broke down completely, turned to drugs and had a lot of one night stands because he's the one who appears the most calm at the moment. I've kind of given a starter to this in this chapter but if you don't like the idea then let me know.**_

_**Secondly I'm kind of slightly out of ideas so any you have will be gratefully recieved, you will, of course, be credited.**_

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	10. Family

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_**Thank you so much to everyone who reviewed and sent me their ideas after the last chapter! I love you all! Got a hundred reviews now... Blimey...  
**_

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_**~*~*~*~*~*~*~**_

**Family**

_**~*~*~*~*~*~*~  
**_

Lucius gave Harry a quick hug before watching as the boy entered his bedroom, closing the door behind himself. Lucius was about to head downstairs when he spotted Draco sat at the very end of the landing, his back against the wall, Lucius frowned and headed over to see the teenager, "Any particular reason you're sat on the floor?" He asked teasingly, Draco simply shrugged and Lucius frowned some more, knowing that Draco was only quiet when something was really wrong, "So...What you been up to lately?" Lucius asked lamely.

"Not much... Wrote to Pansy and Blaise, made out with a curious straight guy..." Draco shrugged before smirking at Lucius' expression, "Yeah, I'm gay... Never said because I thought you were homophobic like the rest of the death munchers." Draco muttered, sounding almost angry.

"I'm sorry you didn't feel like you could talk to me." Lucius murmured, sitting down next to Draco.

"Doesn't matter now anyway." Draco said, scowling at the floor.

Lucius gave the teenager a strange look, "Okay what's up?" He asked finally.

"Like you care!" Draco spat, "You've got Harry to worry about now... But it was me you raised! Not him! And you all seem to think that it's so fucking easy to move on, and maybe it is for Neville and Harry because they never really had parents to lose! But I'm just expected to accept Lupin and Black as my parents and completely forget about the fact that you're my dad! Maybe not biologically but you're the one who hugged me when I was scared or hurt, you're the one who took me to buy my Hogwarts stuff, bought me my first broom! And I'm just meant to forget that whilst you forget me and accept Harry fucking Potter as your son now?!" Draco stopped yelling so that he took a take a breathe, he barely noticed the tears streaking down his cheeks, all his pent up emotions from the past few days finally coming to the surface.

Lucius wrapped his arms around the boy, ignoring his struggles to try and get away. "I am so sorry, I have been so caught up in everything that I didn't even think about how you were coping. Of course I don't expect you to just pretend the past fifteen years never happened!"

"Everythings so confusing." Draco whimpered.

"I know sweetheart, I know." Lucius murmured. They sat there silently for a while, just holding each other. Lucius was surprised, he knew that he hadn't been a great father to Draco during the years when he believed him to be his son, he'd been too preoccupied with raising him to be a good pureblood, he had hugged the boy occasionally but not that often... Perhaps it was harder for Draco to accept the changeover of parents because Lucius was much less formal with Harry, and Draco felt jealous that he hadn't had that, or perhaps he truly did miss Lucius. Lucius gave a small smile, he had found it difficult to watch Remus parent Draco, having raised the boy himself it was difficult to just hand him over. "How about we go get some warm drinks and talk properly hey?" Lucius offered, standing up and helping Draco to his feet.

"Yeah." Draco smiled.

_**~*~*~*~*~HP~HP~*~*~*~*~**_

James climbed onto the bed next to Lily and pressed a soft kiss to her lips, "I was thinking... We could take Neville out somewhere, apparate back to New York. Nev's never been so maybe we could take him to see all the sights..." James said, "No-one we know will see us so..."

"It sounds like a brilliant idea." Lily smiled, wrapping an arm around her husband, "He'll love it."

"Well we've all been pretty cooped up in the house, hey, maybe we could take Harry too, and Draco!" James grinned.

Lily bit her lip, "I don't know, what if Dumbledore places a tracker to see where Harry is..."

"Oh yeah... Well why don't I talk to the others, see what they think? There might be a way around that."

Lily nodded and smiled, "Will we be inviting Rem, Siri and the others?" She asked.

James thought for a moment before shaking his head, "Rem and Siri need some alone time to talk, as do Sev and Luc. If we take the boys out then they might actually sit down and talk."

Lily smiled even more, "You're so thoughtfull." She said softly, kissing her husband again.

"I know." James grinned making Lily laugh, "Come on, let's head downstairs and talk to them." He said, climbing off the bed and helping Lily off too. They kissed gently again before heading downstairs, Lucius and Draco were sat in the kitchen talking quietly, James could see tears in Draco's eyes so he and Lily headed into the living room. Neville was sat on the sofa reading a book, Remus and Sirius were sat opposite him and Severus was sat in the corner of the room flicking through a potions magazine. Lily sat down next to Remus and Sirius as James crossed to Neville and patted his shoulder, "Bed time." He said gently.

Neville groaned, "I've only got two chapters left!" He complained.

"So read them in bed." James said, Neville sighed and rolled his eyes but climbed off the sofa, he gave James a brief hug before doing the same to Lily and saying goodnight to everyone else. James watched as Neville left the room, then he sat down on the sofa and motioned Lily over, she curled up next to him. "Lil and I were thinking of taking Nev to New York, we could take Harry and Drake too but we'd need a way to make sure that Dumbledore wouldn't find out if he used a tracker spell on Harry."

Severus looked up from his magazine, "There's a potion that changes someone's magical energy, sort of like polyjuice but just for your magic." He said, "But we'd need two of them so that Dumbledore would think Harry was here... The thing is the potion takes two years to brew." James gave a groan at that, "But." Severus continued, "I have contacts, I can get two of them on the black market, it'll cost though."

"How much?" James asked.

"Three thousand galleons for both. I don't have that kind of money and Lucius' bank account is watched closely by both the ministry and the dark lord." Severus murmured sadly.

James nodded, "I'll withdraw the money tomorrow." He said.

"Jay..."

"Don't argue with me Sev, I can afford it and it'll be worth it. The kid deserves to get out of the house for a bit." James said, smiling as Lily slid her hand into his.

"Thank you." Severus whispered. "Have you seen Luc?" He asked after a while.

"He's in the kitchen with Draco." James replied making Sirius look up with a slight frown. As if on cue the door opened and Lucius walked in, he headed straight over to Severus and began to talk to him quietly, Draco also walked in a few moments later and sat down in the chair next to the door. Everyone watched as Severus shook his head slightly and Lucius murmured something before kissing Severus desperately and moving to leave the room, as he reached the door Draco moved and grabbed at his arm, "Don't go." he pleaded.

Lucius knelt next to the teenager's chair and took the boy's hands, "I must, you know I must. But I will be back by morning, you have my word." He said softly before standing up again, kissing Draco's forehead and leaving again.

Severus stared after him before turning and looking into the fire, Draco moved to sit by his godfather, "He'll be okay, he always is." The teenager said softly.

"Yeah." Severus sighed, "Yeah I know." He replied, taking Draco's hand and squeezing it gently. James sighed as he realised that Lucius had been called away to the Death Eaters. The room was silent for a while before Severus said, "I'm tired, bedtime I think. You should too Drake." He added quietly.

"Mmm, Don' wanna." Draco mumbled.

"Draco, bed." Sirius cut in, feeling mildly jealous that Lucius and Severus were parenting his son.

Draco scowled, "Fine." He snapped, leaving the room quickly, Sirius let out a groan and dropped his head down onto Remus' shoulder, Severus ignored all that and let out a yawn before heading to bed.

"We should get going too." Lily told James and they also went upstairs.

_**~*~*~*~*~HP~HP~*~*~*~*~**_

Severus sat up as the bedroom door opened and Lucius walked in, "Sorry, did I wake you?" The other man asked apologetically.

"No, I was already awake." Severus replied, moving off the bed and watching as Lucius went into the en-suite and turned on the taps, Severus sighed and went over to his husband, resting his hand on Lucius' back. Lucius tensed and jerked away, adding bubble bath to the tub, "Luc... Talk to me." Severus begged.

"There were muggles... He made us... He made us kill them and... The women... We had to...We had to..." Lucius trailed off, shaking, he stopped suddenly, leaning over the toilet bowl and vomiting. Severus rubbed his husband's back, holding Lucius' hair back as he continued to throw up. Once Lucius had finished vomiting, Severus summoned him a glass of water, turned the taps off and slowly undressed his husband. Lucius didn't make a sound and was tense the entire time but he didn't stop Severus. Severus helped his husband into the bathtub before kneeling down, picking up a sponge and slowly beginning to wash Lucius with it. "How can you bear to touch me?" Lucius croaked.

"You do what you have to do to keep us safe." Severus replied quietly, "I do the same remember? But it wont be for long sweetheart, we will fix this world so that we can live peacfully." He murmured, running the sponge along Lucius' shoulders.

Lucius picked up the glass of water that he'd put down on the side of the bath and sipped at it, "I hate having to do this... I mean how the hell are we meant to help Harry through all his crap with Vernon if we're just as bad as that bastard?!"

Severus dropped the sponge into the bath water, "Don't say that! Don't you ever say that! We are nothing like Vernon! Nothing! We do what we do to keep our family safe! Keep our friends safe!" He spat before standing up and storming back into the bedroom, collapsing onto the bed and trying not to cry. He could hear the bath water sloshing about and a few minutes later Lucius was sat on the bed next to him,

"I'm sorry." The older man whispered, "Sometimes it get's to me."

Severus raised his head off the pillow and looked at the man, "Yeah." He murmured, "I know." They were silent for a while before Severus said, "You're naked."

"Yeah." Lucius chuckled, "I know."

~*~

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_**Hope you liked it.... God am I angsty sometimes!!**_


	11. New York

_**This is quite a happy chapter compared to the others!**_

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**New York.**

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"New York?!" Neville squealed, "How cool is that?!"

"Pretty cool." Draco laughed, he glanced at Harry who was also grinning.

Harry turned to James, "Will we get to see the statue of liberty?"

James smiled, "Sure, and anything else you guys want to see. Make a list tonight, we'll leave by nine tomorrow." He said happily, laughing at the boys excited faces as they grabbed some parchment and headed off upstairs.

Sirius walked over to James, "Say... Could I maybe -"

"No." James interrupted, "You're going to stay here and sort out whatever issues you and Remus have." It was said quietly but Sirius could hear the stern undertone.

"Right... Sure." He murmured.

"We can go to New York some other time though okay?" James smiled, "But you have to focus on your marriage right now."

"You're right. Thanks." Sirius said quietly, letting his friend draw him into a hug.

_**~*~*~*~*~HP~HP~*~*~*~*~**_

"The empire state building!" Neville said and Draco wrote it down.

Harry frowned, "The glass apple store!" He said suddenly.

"The what?!" Draco asked, his face a picture of confusion, "They sell glass apples?"

Harry laughed, "No... Apple is a brand name, they sell electronic stuff. The store in New york is like this giant glass box and you go down glass stairs or in a glass lift, the actual store is underground and apparently it's amazing, all these laptops and ipod's and -"

"What the hell's a laptop?" Neville asked in confusion.

"It's a... never mind." Harry sighed, shaking his head at how little the other two knew about the muggle world.

Draco raised a slight eyebrow, "I'll write it down." He told Harry, "Lily'll know what it is I'm sure." He added making Neville laugh and Harry roll his eyes.

"We should go see the American Ministry of Magic." Neville said, "Apparently it's awesome."

_**~*~*~*~*~HP~HP~*~*~*~*~**_

"You guys ready?" James asked the teenagers the next day, they were all stood by the fire with rucksacks on their backs. "Yup." Neville grinned, he was so excited, he'd never been out of Britain before.

"Okay well we're flooing to mine and Lily's house and then we'll grab breakfast and move on from there."

"Sweet." Draco smiled, taking the floo powder James handed out.

James smiled in reply, "The code for the floo is NY37652." He told them, Draco nodded and threw the powder into the fire before stepping in and saying the code, Neville and Harry followed him. The living room they stepped out into was gorgeous, it was modern with a large black leather and a small armchair, a large television, "We never really did understand the fireplace, it seemed out of place but we felt this need to keep it." James told the teenagers before ushering them into the kitchen where Lily was making pancakes and sausages and bacon.

"Pancakes and bacon?" Draco asked, curling his nose up slightly.

James laughed, "It's surprisingly nice, especially with syrup!" He said, laughing even more a the teenagers expression, "Neville, why don't you take all your bags upstairs? We've set up the spare room for the three of you, it's the first door on your left." James said, Neville nodded and took Harry and Draco's bags off them before heading upstairs and dumping them on the floor of the spare room, there were three beds in there and a small bookshelf, there wasn't much room for anything else.

As Neville left the bedroom he was surprised to find Draco stood, leaning, against the wall opposite, "Umm... Hey." Neville mumbled, they hadn't really been alone since they'd kissed.

They'd only kissed and then Draco had left to go and use the bathroom and grab some "Stuff, just in case," he hadn't returned, leaving Neville feeling quite upset and stupid. "I'm sorry I did't return to your room the other night... I saw Fa- Lucius and Harry and sat down for a moment to angst to myself but Father, Lucius I mean, found me and made me go and talk to him, then he had to go to a death eater meeting and when Black made me go to bed I checked in on you but you were already asleep." Draco blurted out.

Neville frowned as he tried to undestand everything Draco had just said, "It's fine." Neville said eventually, wondering if he should ask why Draco was calling his dad by his surname.

Draco gave a nod and moved slightly forwards, "So... Do you want to... I mean..."

"Yeah." Neville replied quietly, biting at his lip slightly before moving forwards and kissing Draco, Draco's hand wrapped around his waist as they kissed and Neville pressed the blonde back against the wall.

"**Woah.**" They pulled apart quickly and turned to look at Harry who was stood at the top of the stairs, "Umm... Lily says you should get your breakfast before it goes cold." He said quietly before he turned to walk away.

Neville was by his side instantly, grabbing his arm, "Harry... Look it was just... I wanted..."

"It's not like it means anything." Draco chipped in, almost missing the slight look of pain that crossed Neville's face.

"Right." Neville agreed, "We were just... experimenting so to speak. I'm not even sure if I like guys."

Harry let out a snort then, "If you didn't like guys you really wouldn't have been so into that kiss. Look, whatever okay. I don't care, what you two do is up to you. Like I said, breakfast's ready." He shrugged.

"You wont -"

"No I wont tell anyone." Harry interrupted Draco, he motioned down the stairs, Neville nodded and they all went down to the kitchen.

**_~*~*~*~*~HP~HP~*~*~*~*~_**

They'd had a really nice morning going to see the statue of liberty and the empire state building, "I'm hungry." Neville said as they walked down one of the street's.

"We can get bagel's." James offered, "Lil and I are taking you to a restaurant for dinner, it's called Mars."

"Mars?" Draco asked.

"Yes, you go inside a sort of ride that's made to look like a spaceship, and then the restaurant has people dressed as aliens."

"Sounds wierd." Harry said,

"Sounds ace!" Neville added making James grin.

Lily cleared her throat, "Bagels for lunch then?" She asked and they headed down the street to find a bagel shop,

"Look! They have clock's showing the time all over the world there!" Draco said, pointing at the front of the shop.

"Hah! It's five hours ahead in London!" Harry said as he read the clocks. "Oh look! A bagel shop!" He added as he turned slightly. They headed over to the small cafe and ordered several different bagels,

"You guys want to eat them here or head to central Park? It's pretty close." James asked.

The teenagers discussed it for a moment, "Let's go to the park, it's a nice day." Neville said finally. They all headed off down the street again, finally arriving at the large park and sitting down on some of the benches to eat their food.

"Oh damn, we forgot drinks." Lily said, "You guys okay with water? There's a guy selling some over there." Everyone nodded and Lily turned to James with a small smile on her face, "Come with me?" She half begged, he laughed and stood up, kissing her lightly as he took her hand and they headed over to the vendor.

"They are so in love it is gross." Draco said making Harry laugh and shake his head slightly.

Harry smirked as he said, "Maybe I should have gone with them, you know, give you guys some time alone..." He smirked even more as Draco scowled and Neville turned crimson.

"You know what Nev? We should ask if we can go on the subway later, you know... So we can push Harry in front of one of the train things." Draco grinned suddenly, laughing at Harry's pout and Neville's grin. James and Lily wandered back over and handed out bottles of water. "So what we doing this afternoon?"

_**~*~*~*~*~HP~HP~*~*~*~*~**_

"Definitely weird." Harry said as he sipped his glass of water and watched one of the 'aliens' talk to a party of kids.

"Definitely ace." Neville added as he munched on a chip.

"Thank you, for all of this." Draco smiled as he looked at James and Lily, "It was really nice of you."

"Don't mention it." James replied, "It's been fun for us too." Lily nodded her agreement to that.

They sat around chatting as they ate and after a while Neville leant over and whispered in Harry's ear, "You actually gonna eat?"

"I'm not so hungry." Harry muttered in reply.

Neville raised an eyebrow, "You only had one bite of bagel for lunch." He pointed out, Harry gave a small shrug in reply and Neville pursed his lips. Their quiet conversation had drawn Draco's attention but James and Lily remained oblivious as Neville hissed, "Start eating or I'll make this conversation louder, I'm sure the adults will find a way to make you eat. Probably have spells for it."

"You wouldn't." Harry scowled but Neville's expression told him otherwise, "Well then I'll just have to mention your little experiments with Draco." Harry smirked, Neville stared at him for a moment before shaking his head in disgust and turning away. Harry suddenly realised what he had threatened and winced, "I'm sorry." He whispered, Neville ignored him and Harry sighed, picking up his burger and biting into it, trying to ignore Vernon's voice in his head saying that he didn't deserve the food. Once Harry had finished the burger he ate a few chips and looked up in surprise when Neville handed him a menu, "We're ordering desert, weren't you listening?" There was a challenging look in Neville's eyes and Harry sighed, knowing that there would be a scene if he didn't order something.

"I'll have ice cream." He told the waiter who nodded and wrote it down along with the other orders before leaving.

"Would you excuse me, I'm just going to the bathroom." Draco murmured, his manners showing that he had been raised by Lucius and Narcissa.

Now that Harry thought about it he needed to pee too, "Yeah, me an' all." He said, smiling at James and Lily as he moved away from the table and headed towards the loo, he was almost there when Draco spun around and grabbed him, pushing him against one of the walls that had been painted red and made to look like a rock. "What the fuck?" Harry gasped.

"If you're pissed off with Neville then go ahead and threaten him all you like but don't you dare threaten me too." Draco growled.

"I... I didn't." Harry gasped.

Draco sneered at that, "You threatened him with something that also threatened me." he snarled and Harry winced. "Sorry." He mumbled and Draco dropped him.

"Don't let it happen again." The blonde snapped before stalking off towards the bathroom. Harry sighed and followed him.

_**~*~*~*~*~HP~HP~*~*~*~*~**_

"Nev, I am so sorry for what I said... I just... I don't like people commenting on me eating, you know that! I lashed out and -"

"Shut up."

Harry sighed, "But Nev..."

"Seriously Harry, If you keep apologising I'll hit you, it's getting annoying. So shut up and get the snap cards."

"Okay. Wait... What?!"

Neville groaned, "Oh for fucks sake! I forgive you! Now shut the hell up!" He snapped making Draco, who had just walked in, laugh loudly. Harry frowned for a moment before shrugging to himself and going to get the snap cards.

**

* * *

**

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_**Next chapter will be dedicated to Remus and Sirius, the one after that to **_**_Lucius and Severus but then we'll be back in New York visiting the American Ministry._**

**_And yes, the restaurant in this does exist, I went there! Sorry there wasn't much about the Statue of Liberty or the empire state building, I figured if you want to know about thm then you can go on wikipedia and I should focus on the characters.  
_**


	12. Remus and Sirius

_**~*~*~*~*~*~**_

**Remus and Sirius...**

_**~*~*~*~*~*~  
**_

"We need to talk." Sirius said, sitting down next to Remus on the bed, Remus looked up at him slowly, a look of slight fear in his eyes.

"Sure we can talk, what you want to talk about?" He asked, "We could talk about that new film that's out or what you want to do for your birthday." He continued before Sirius could reply, "I suppose we could talk about what to have for lunch but that's kind of boring or we could talk about -"

"We need to talk about your kiss with Severus." Sirius interrupted quietly.

"-cars..." Remus trailed off weakly, sighing as he realised that Sirius really wanted to talk, and when Sirius wanted to talk, they talked. "You're not going to leave me are you?" He asked quietly, voicing the fear he'd felt since he'd told Sirius about the kiss, his husband had simply nodded before leaving the room, he had spoken to Remus since but not properly, not about what had happened...

"No! I love you..." Sirius said gently, taking Remus' hand, "But things haven't been good, and me kissing Harry back and you kissing Sev... That kind of proves it." Sirius paused to look up at Remus and sighed at how blank his husband's expression was, "And it's not like we can just hire someone to help us figure this out since I'm supposedly a dead mass murderer... We have to do that ourselves."

"How?" Remus asked, he sounded almost angry.

Sirius shrugged, "You tell me. You're the one that trained as a therapist." He muttered.

"Why do you fancy Lucius?" Remus asked suddenly, "Am I not enough for you?"

Sirius frowned, he considered asking why Remus was attracted to Severus and if he wasn't enough for him but figured it wouldn't be too helpful. "I... I don't know. I love you, I really do, but I feel this attraction when I'm around Luc... Like some teenage crush or something. It's stupid and pathetic and I'll be over it soon..." _I hope._

"That's what I get with Sev." Remus whispered quietly.

"What does it mean?" Sirius asked.

Remus shrugged, "Nothing really, lot's of people get crushes even though they're married. 'Cause your stuck with the same old bag for your whole life, you gotta fantasize a bit." He smirked making Sirius punch his arm.

"I am not an old bag!" The animgaus protested, "It's kinda weird... That we've both got these crushes on two guys who happen to be married to each other!" He added with a small grin.

Remus nodded, "It is a bit." He said before smirking, "Should just ask for a foursome!" Sirius burst out laughing at that, leaning against Remus as they both giggled. "Anyway... Our marriage..." Remus prompted as they calmed down.

"I... I kissed Harry back because, well because I was jealous about the men you slept with when I was in Azkaban. And I know that's pathetic, 'cause it wasn't your fault, and also to use a teenager like that was just wrong but... Well, I'm sorry." Sirius mumbled.

Remus stared at him for a while, "I thought you were a traitor..." He whispered, "That's why I... I wish I could take it back... All those guys, I Dumbledore hadn't fucked with our heads so much, I wish you hadn't gone through all that. But I promise you, all that time when you were gone, I missed you so godamned much, and I never stopped loving you, even when I thought you'd betrayed James and Lil." Sirius was so choked up at that that he couldn't speak and so simply buried his head in Remus' chest, Remus moved him and wiped away Sirius' tears with his thumb, "Don't cry sweetie." He whispered, but hearing Remus call him sweetie for the first time in years only made Sirius cry harder.

_**~*~*~*~*HP~HP~*~*~*~*~**_

_He was back in his cell, it was so cold, getting colder... He could feel them coming, feel the memories of his childhood, of James and Lily's dead bodies coming to the front of his mind. "No! Leave me alone." He mumbled as he felt the air get even colder and the dementors stopped outside his cell. "No." But it was too late and he was back there again, seeing Jamie's dead body. "No... Jay!"_

"Sirius!" _What was that? _"Sirius!!" Sirius' eyes shot open and he found himself staring into Remus' worried face, his husband was holding his arms down and Sirius jerked to get them free, "Sorry." Remus mumbled, releasing him, "You were lashing out."

Sirius winced, "Did I hurt you?" He asked.

"No, no." Remus said but Sirius could tell that he was lying.

"Sorry."

Remus sighed and moved so that he was sat up, holding Sirius in his arms, "You have nothing to apologise for." He murmured as he ran his fingers through Sirius' hair. "You were dreaming about _there_ weren't you?"

"So cold, Rem." Sirius whispered, shivering at the thought of the place. Remus tightened his grip on his husband, pressing a soft kiss to his forehead. "And those... those things... they came around once a day, stopping in front of the cell... All I could see was James..." Sirius trailed off as tears fell from his eyes, "I know he's alive but it still feels so real." Remus said nothing, just continued to hug Sirius, knowing that the man needed to talk about this. Sirius had refused to discuss Azkaban for so long... Even when they hadn't known about Dumbledore's manipulations and Draco being their son. "Then I could see my mum... Everything she said... Everything she did... all the curses and hexes..." Sirius shivered again and Remus pulled the duvet tighter around him for comfort, "There were times when I thought I had betrayed James and Lily, that I deserved to be there, that I was just deluding myself that it was Peter... those were the worst times. I felt so sick, so angry... I wanted to die at the thought of betraying them but... Well there's not really much to kill yourself with in that place." Sirius muttered, glancing up at Remus when he felt a tear hit his chest. "Don't cry Remmie, it's okay now... I don't feel like that anymore."

"I hate the thought that you were so sad and I wasn't there to hold you." Remus whispered, "I thought you were a traitor! What sort of a husband does that make me?!"

"One who's head was fucked with by Dumbledore!" Sirius said angrily, "He's the one who made you believe all that, and he will pay for it, I promise you that." Sirius growled. Remus leant down and kissed Sirius softly before moving to lie next to him and resting his head on his husband's chest. Sirius ran his hand through Remus' hair, "We're going to be okay aren't we?" Remus asked quietly.

"Of course we are." Sirius said gently.

**_~*~*~*~*~HP~HP~*~*~*~*~_**

"Got your special chocolate cake too." Sirius smiled as he put the plate down on the bedside table.

Remus grinned, "Thanks babe. Did you see Severus and Luc?"

"They were talking in the living room, it looked serious so I left them to it." Sirius said, sitting down on the edge of the bed and taking a bite out of one of the sandwiches he'd made. Remus gave a small nod and ate some of his own sandwich before leaning back against the pillows, "You look exhausted." Sirius said quietly, stroking Remus' cheek.

"Only got a few days left before the full." Remus mumbled, hiding a yawn with his hand. Sirius nodded, he knew that, he always knew when the full moon was. "Moony will be glad to have his friend's back." Remus said, "He's been rather difficult lately, even with the potion."

Sirius pursed his lips, once again planning Albus Dumbledore's death. "One day they'll find a cure." He told his husband, handing over the chocolate cake, "One day you wont have to go through that."

"One day." Remus agreed, hoping Sirius was right. Sirius placed a kiss on Remus' lips before leaning down to steal the chocolate cake off Remus' fork, "Oi!" Remus said, shoving Sirius' shoulder, "Thief." He added with a grin and Sirius grinned back, moving to kiss his husband again, he parted his lips giving Remus' tongue full access to his mouth, "You taste of chocolate." Remus said when they parted.

"So do you." Sirius smirked, running his hand over Remus' arm. Remus leant up and kissed him again, Sirius responded but when Remus' hand ran along his chest and slid up his shirt he pulled away, "Rem..."

"I thought you wanted that?" Remus said, frowning slightly, "Or don't you want me?"

"Of course I do! But you're exhausted as it is!" Sirius said, trying not to get angry, "You need sleep... Besides, since we remembered all this, us being Draco's parents and stuff, it seems like our whole relationship has become about the sex..." The last part was almost whispered.

Remus frowned some more before nodding, "You're right, it has..."

Sirius let out a deep breathe, "So maybe we could just watch a movie, cuddle a bit..." He offered,

Remus smiled, "I'd like that." He whispered, kissing Sirius lightly.

_**~*~*~*~*~**_

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_**Please let me know what you think.**_


	13. Lucius and Severus

**_~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~_**

**_Lucius and Severus._**

**_~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~  
_**

"I spoke to Draco the other day." Lucius said as he sat down, accepting the mug of tea Severus handed him.

"Oh?"

"Yeah, he's not really coping with the parent switchover. He's kind of jealous of Harry..." Lucius said quietly.

Severus nodded, "Of course he is, you raised him and then suddenly you have a new kid and just hand him over to two men he barely knows and tell him he's their son."

Lucius sighed, "I told him that I would always be there for him... I... It's been kind of difficult for me too, watching them parent him."

Severus reached across the table and took his husband's hand, "Just don't let him push Rem and Sirius away, and tell them what's happening. I think Siri may have been a tad jealous when you were talking to Drake. Even more so when I told him to go to bed. We have to explain to them that it's difficult to let go, for me too, I was his godfather for so long and watched over him when you and 'Cissy were busy. It's hard to just hand that responsibility over to someone else."

"D'ya think they'll understand?" Lucius asked quietly.

"Sure they will. Well, Rem will anyway, it'll take Sirius some time." Severs said and Lucius nodded, knowing he was right. "Let's go and sit in the living room, it's warmer in there." Severus smiled and Lucius followed him through. They curled up on the sofa, Lucius' head resting on his husbands shoulder, "I love you." Severus said softly.

"I love you too." Lucius murmured, brushing away a strand of Severus' hair that fell into Lucius' face. "Split ends, you need to cut your hair." Lucius commented. "I'll do it for you later if you want."

"That'll be nice, I'll do yours too." Severus smiled.

_**~*~*~*~*~HP~HP~*~*~*~*~**_

Severus glanced towards the kitchen door as he heard someone moving around, he could just about see Sirius making sandwiches. Lucius opened his eyes too, "Who is it?"

"Siri's getting lunch." Severus explained quietly, leaning down to kiss his husband gently.

"Oh." Lucius mumbled, "Can't believe I fell asleep." He added, moving his head off Severus' chest.

Severus made a humming noise as he ran his hand through his husband's hair, "I think you needed it. You haven't been sleeping too well lately..." He said gently. Lucius sighed, knowing that Severus wanted to talk about it properly, it wasn't particularly something he wanted to discuss, even with Severus and so simply gave a shrug. "Luc... You can't just ignore this. I mean, we've been telling Harry that he needs to sit down and talk about stuff, we can't go against that." Severus pleaded.

Lucius sighed and looked over at the kitchen, watching as Sirius left, balancing a tray of food. "Fine." He said eventually. "You're right, I'm not sleeping properly... I get dreams about those muggles... Those women..." Lucius gave a small shiver, "It's easier not to sleep in the first place than to get dreams..."

"Oh baby." Severus whispered, pressing a kiss to Lucius' head, "You should have said! I'm working on a non-addictive dreamless sleep potion, It needs someone to test it. I can't promise it will work but it's worth a try." He smiled, holding Lucius close and stroking his hair. "Why didn't you tell me?"

"I don't want to be a burden." Lucius mumbled.

"Oh you daft sod! You could never be a burden! I love you... Okay?" Severus said sternly, rocking his husband slightly.

Lucius gave a small nod and buried his head in Severus' neck, mumbling an "I love you too" into his skin.

"Do you want to talk about it... The dreams?" Seeverus asked cautiously, he knew that he'd pressed Lucius into talkign earlier but actually talking about these dreams was a different matter. Sometimes discussing it out loud only seemed to make it worse.

Lucius shrugged, "Makes me feel sick..." He mumbled, "But also... It's good that I feel sick... because that means that I feel guilty... Is it wrong that I'm glad that I feel guilty?"

"No, of course not. It helps you in feeling better about what you have to do. You're not a bad man Luc... You're being forced into this by Voldemort and Dumbledore. It's good for you to remember that." Severus said softly. Lucius shrugged again before standing up and heading into the kitchen, Severus sighed as he watched his husband put the kettle on, he wished he knew how to help him. Lucius came back into the room ten minutes later carrying two mugs of tea, he handed one to Severus before sitting next to his husband. "Wanna watch a film?" Severus offered quietly, Lucius nodded silently in reply, wanting to just be close to Severus.

_**~*~*~*~*~HP~HP~*~*~*~*~**_

"You know when you kissed Remus?" Lucius asked quietly, they were lying on the living room floor by then, flicking through a photo album.

Severus tensed and glanced at his husband, "Yeah?"

"What did you feel?" Lucius asked, turning to look at Severus properly.

"I... Guilt." Severus mumbled, looking away.

Lucius nodded, "But before the guilt... Did you feel something else?"

"I don't know!" Severus snapped, "I felt lust and passion and... What does it matter?! I love you okay?! I fucking love you! And I'm sorry I kissed him but... I love you." He finished angrily, scowling at his husband.

Lucius sat up and took Severus' hands in his own, "I know you love me... I do but... I... Oh Merlin! I don't know how to say this without upsetting you."

Severus bit at his lip, surely Lucius didn't want to take a break?... "Just go for it." He prompted.

"You obviously have... feelings... for Remus, and he has them for you. I just... I don't mind if you... If you want to explore those feelings." Lucius mumbled.

"WHAT?!" Severus choked.

Lucius sighed, pulling his hands away from Severus', "Never mind, doesn't matter, forget I said anything." He muttered, standing up.

"No! Luc sit down." Severus said, standing up and taking his husband's arm, "I... I was just in shock, that's all... We should talk about this, properly." Lucius frowned before sitting down on the sofa, Severus sat next to him, "What did you mean? Explore those feelings?" Severus prompted.

"I... I guess what I mean is... I wouldn't mind if you and Remus were to... you know." Lucius said quietly, avoiding looking at his husband, "I know you love me... And I know I love you." He added, Severus frowned and stayed silent, worrying his bottom lip between his teeth as he mulled over Lucius' words. "I mean... I... It would just be... physical... right? So I'm fine with that." Lucius murmured.

"Merlin... I... This is a big deal Luc!" Severus finally managed to say.

"Yeah... Sorry." Lucius said, "It's just, Well you shared me with Narcissa all those years, and you knew I didn't love her and did love you... You knew that sometimes I did sleep with her and you were okay with that... I just think I can be okay with you and Remus... And I wanted you to know that."

Severus nodded, "Can't say it's not an appealing thought." He said softly, "But really, you are more than enough for me." He added, kissing Lucius gently.

Lucius kissed back, wrapping his arm around Severus, when they parted he said, "Well, offer's there." Severus laughed and kissed him again to shut him up.

_**~*~*~*~*~HP~HP~*~*~*~*~**_

Severus washed the last plate and put it on the draining rack, "What do you want to do this evening then?" He asked Lucius who washed the plate and put it in the cupboard. "Dunno... We could go for a walk, on the beach?" Lucius offered.

"Which beach?" Severus asked. wrapping his arms around his husband.

"Whichever." Lucius shrugged.

Severus gave a small smile, "Let's go to that little beach next to your dad's summer house..." He said gently, Lucius smiled too. That was the beach on which they'd had their first kiss, and then later on where Severus had broken the news that he was expecting Harry.

"Yeah." Lucius murmured, "Let's go there." They left a note for Sirius and Remus, "Just in case they worry", and headed outside, past the boundaries of the house before apparating to the beach. Severus took Lucius' hand as they walked slowly along the beach, they hadn't noticed how late it was and so were surprised to see the sunset. "It's beautiful." Lucius murmured.

"Perfect." Severus agreed, turning to kiss his husband, Lucius kissed back gently, stroking Severus' hair, "Remember our first kiss." Severus asked as they parted.

"Of course. God that was so awkward. We spent the rest of the holiday avoiding each other!" Lucius laughed.

Severus nodded, "Until Sirius locked us in a room together!" He smirked. Lucius buried his head in Severus' neck and pressed a soft kiss to the skin there. "I miss us being young and everything being okay." He mumbled.

"I did not understand a word of that!" Severus laughed as he stroked his hand up and down Lucius' back. Lucius pulled away and repeated what he had said, "Yeah baby, me too." Severus replied, they kissed again and then simply stood there holding each other close.

* * *

_**~*~*~.~*~*~**_

_**I was asked if this was goign to be an MPreg fic, umm... Yeah, It kinda already is an MPreg fic, sorry if you didn't notice this. I forgot to put MPreg in the warning. Currently it's only mentions of MPreg but there may be an actual Pregnancy later on, sorry if you don't like this, I should have put it in the warning. Anyway there you go. It's definitely a MPreg fic.**_

_**~*~*~.~*~*~**_


	14. Us

**Contains sciences of a sexual nature:**

* * *

_**~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~**_

_**Us.**_

_**~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~**_

"Wow... And I thought our ministry was big!" Harry said, looking around the lobby of the American Ministry of Magic headquarters.

"You should go to Russia's, that place is huge!" Draco laughed.

"How many ministries have you been to?" Neville asked.

Draco shrugged, "Tons... Father, Lucius I mean, he always took me when I was younger. He had business to do and my mother was usually too busy doing her hair to watch me and Uncle Sev was doing whatever it is Uncle Sev does..." Draco gave another shrug, "Saw a lot of the world."

"Lucky git." Harry said, "I just travelled between school and the dursleys."

"Yeah." Neville agreed, "No travelling for me either, Grandmother disliked it."

Draco flushed slightly, he knew he'd had a better childhood than the other two but what was he meant to do about it exactly?! "It was pretty boring." He lied, "I just sat around whilst Father worked."

James decided to chip in then, noticing the tension between the three. "Well unfortunately the lobby is all we are allowed to see. So how about we go to the museum of american magical history now?"

The three teenagers turned to look at James, "A museum? Really?" Neville asked, curling his lip slightly.

Lily laughed as James looked shocked, "You mean you don't want to go to the museum?! Well I guess we'll have to go watch some Quidditch instead!" James grinned, pulling the tickets from his pocket. Draco let out a small gasp and Harry grinned, even Neville looked impressed and he wasn't too into Quidditch. "We better go or we'll be late." Lily told them, "It's New York City versus Washington." She added.

"Sweet." Draco smiled as they left the ministry.

_**~*~*~*~*~*~HP~HP~*~*~*~*~*~**_

"What time are the kids due back?" Severus asked Lucius.

Lucius shrugged, "Umm... Couple of hours I think." He said, wrapping his arm around Severus' waist.

Severus pulled away gently, "Maybe we should talk to Siri and Remus now then... About Draco?" He offered, glancing towards the living room where he knew the two were. Lucius pulled a face but let his husband lead him through to the living room, Sirius and Remus looked up as they walked in. "Hi, Umm... We wanted to talk to you about Drake." Severus started awkwardly, sitting down opposite the two men. "He's having difficulty coping with the changeover in parents so... Well he misses having Luc as his dad."

"And I miss him." Lucius cut in.

"Basically it's going to be difficult for Lucius to just suddenly hand Draco over, difficult for me too because I practically helped raise him. But we want you to know that we're not taking over, he is still your son." Severus rushed to say because he could see Sirius' lips getting thinner and the frown on his face growing.

"Well that's understandable, you have been his father for the past fifteen years." Remus told Lucius, "We accept that it's difficult to just let that go."

They all turned to look at Sirius when he cleared his throat slightly, "Please don't take him from me." It was half whispered, half croaked, "He's my son... And I've had to be away from him for so long..." Sirius trailed off as Remus pulled him into a tight hug.

"We're not going to take him from you." Lucius said gently, "I promise." He knelt down next to Sirius and pulled the man away from Remus, making him look at him, "I promise." Lucius repeated, stroking Sirius' face, Sirius gave a small nod and let himself be drawn into a hug. "Things have been pretty rough lately huh?" Lucius murmured, rubbing Sirius' back.

"Yeah." Sirius muttered, resting his head on Lucius' shoulder and he couldn't help but inhale the man's scent, then he remembered that Remus was sat right next to him and that Lucius' own husband was on the other sofa. Sirius pulled away from the hug and avoided Lucius' eyes, knowing that the man had noticed what he had done. "Coffee." Sirius said quickly, "Anyone want coffee?" Remus frowned slightly but nodded and Sirius left the room quickly, heading into the kitchen and leaning against one of the counters, swearing softly to himself.

**~*~*~*~*~*~HP~HP~*~*~*~*~*~**

"Did you have fun?" Remus asked the kids as they all ate dinner that night.

"It was awesome." Draco smiled, helping himself to more peas. James couldn't help but smile to himself, glad that the boys had enjoyed their time in New York, they had all deserved the break. Lucius watched with a smile smile as Neville and Draco relayed their adventures, he glanced at Harry, wondering why the boy was so quite and couldn't help but laugh when he saw that Harry was half asleep. "You should go to bed if you're that tired." Lucius said softly.

"Yeah." Harry muttered, "I might. Didn't sleep much last night, how do you cope with all that noise?!" He asked James.

The man shrugged, "Guess you just get used to it." He smiled, Harry laughed and excused himself from the table, saying goodnight to everyone before heading upstairs.

The others cleared up the dishes before heading into the lounge, Lucius held back and grabbed Sirius' arm, "Can we talk?" He asked gently.

"Umm... I guess." Sirius said.

"I... I may have given Severus permission to sleep with Remus." Lucius muttered once they were alone.

"What?!" Sirius choked out.

Lucius winced, "Well he likes Remus and Remus likes him... Look... I mean... Remus would never do it without speaking to you first... I just thought I should tell you that's all."

"So you think I should tell Remus the same?" Sirius asked, a look of confusion on his face.

Lucius shrugged, "You know he loves you..." He said, "Look, Your relationship is for you to figure out... I'm just telling you what I told Sev." And with that Lucius left the kitchen, leaving Sirius stood there feeling even more confused than before.

**~*~*~*~*~*~HP~HP~*~*~*~*~*~**

Draco and Neville were sat on Draco's bed, making out. Draco slowly moved his hands around to cup at Neville's waist as he used his tongue to explore the other teenagers mouth. Neville kissed back, barely noticing ad Draco slowly pushed him backwards so that he was lying on the bed, Draco moved his hands upwards, running them along Neville's chest and slowly unbuttoning his shirt. Neville broke the kiss, looking at Draco nervously. The older teenager gave him a reassuring smile before leaning forwards again, kissing Neville gently before slowly sucking on his bottom lip, drawing out a delightful moan. Draco finished unbuttoning Neville's shirt and slipped his hands inside it, running them along the bare skin now on show, "You are so fucking gorgeous." He whispered, pressing a soft kiss to Neville's neck. Neville let out a groan and moved his hands, clasping at Draco's arse, Draco bucked his hips slightly and winced internally as Neville tensed. Slowly Neville relaxed again and ran his left hand up and down Draco's neck, Drao smiled against Neville's skin and moved to kiss his chest, nipping at the skin slightly and making Neville wriggle beneath him. Neville could feel Draco's erection digging into his thigh through two layers of jeans and knew the teenager could feel his own, when Draco's teeth grazed over one of his nipples he couldn't help but buck his hips and grab at Draco's arse again. "We should stop." Neville breathed eventually.

"Do you want to?" Draco murmured, moving one of his hands and strokign at Neville's thigh.

"No." Neville admitted.

Draco smiled, "We can stop anytime you like." He assured him, focusing his attention back on Neville's neck and sucking the tender skin into his mouth, grazing his teeth over it.

"Oh god ..." Nev sighed, his eyes closing when the little tendrils of pleasure mixed with pain shot through his body and shot straight to his cock making it even harder.

"Feel good?" Draco asked, brushing his thumb over the blossoming bruise while placing butterfly kisses to Neville's jaw.

"Mmmm," Neville mumbled, his hips canting upwards as if with a mind of their own to push harder against Draco's.

"What if I do this?" Draco asked, moving his hips slightly, grinding their bodies together and providing friction for both of their cocks through the fabric of their jeans.

"Shit, oh shit ..." Neville groaned, his fingers digging into the flesh of Draco's back, his own hips moving in time with his lovers. That was all the encouragement Draco needed, his mouth finding Neville's again he upped the pace, the kiss becoming more and more heated and their hips pressing harder and harder together as their movement became more frantic. "Draco, oh fuck ... oh shit ... Draco," Neville panted, tearing his mouth away from the other boys. "Shit, I think ... oh shit ..." Neville's back arched off the sofa and with a loud groan a look of pure ecstasy shot across his face as he came, yelling Draco's name, his come warm flooding the inside of his briefs. Draco let himself go, pounding hard against Neville's body, his own orgasm finally leashed he gave a yell before collapsing onto the other boys chest, feeling his heart beating fast against his ear.

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_**~*~*~*~*~SECRETS AND LIES ~*~*~*~*~**_

**Please review!** **Thanks so much to everyone who has been.**

**And everyone who asked who will get pregnant... You're just going to have to wait and see!**


	15. Old and new

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**Old and new...**

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**_

When Draco woke up Neville was gone, as was the pile of their dirty washing from the night before that they'd thrown on the floor next to the door. The pyjamas that Neville had borrowed to sleep in after having a wash last night were folded neatly at the end of Draco's bed. Draco frowned and pulled himself out of the bed, grabbing some clothes and getting dressed before heading downstairs to the kitchen. Lucius was frying some eggs and Severus was sat at the table but no-one else seemed to be up. "Morning Kid, Want some food?" Lucius asked.

"I'll have cereal." Draco said, pouring some into a bowl and adding milk. He grabbed a spoon before sitting down next to Severus,

"You okay?" The older man asked.

Draco shrugged, "I guess." He muttered, shoving a spoon full of cereal into his mouth.

Severus frowned, "Want to talk about it?"

"No." Draco said, managing to spit a piece of cheerio onto the table.

Severus wrinkled his nose slightly, "Don't talk with food in your mouth." He said as Lucius handed him a plate of eggs and beans, "Thanks love."

The door to the kitchen opened and Harry walked in, "Food?" Lucius offered as he fried another egg.

"I'll have cereal." Harry said, mirroring Draco's words from earlier and pouring himself a bowl of cheerios. Harry sat next to Draco and leant over to get the milk, "Neville's havign a minor freak out, you may want to go and talk to him." Harry muttered in the blonde's ear.

Draco cursed making Severus and Lucius look at him, "Left the shower running apparently." Draco said quickly standing up and leaving the room.

"You didn't turn it off for him?" Lucius asked Harry.

"Not my shower." Harry shrugged.

_**~*~*~*~HP~HP~*~*~***_

"Hey." Draco said, pushing his head around Neville's door, Neville jumped and looked up as Draco walked in and closed the door firmly, "Do you regret it?" Draco asked quietly.

"No! I... I just..." Neville sighed and stood up, beginning to pace around the room, "I've always considered myself straight, even when we've kissed I still considered myself straight. But now... Well I'm definitely bisexual..."

Draco nodded and gave a small smile, "It's confusing, and slightly scary, when you finally admit your sexuality to yourself." He said gently, "Trust me, been there."

Neville smiled back, "I don't regret what we did... It was... Well it was enjoyable."

"Sure was." Draco grinned, "I was worried I'd rushed you into doing it..." He murmured, crossing to Neville.

Nev looked up at him, "No." He said gently, "If I thought it was rushed I would have said stop, you gave me several chances to do so... It was fun... and slightly messy..." He added making Draco laugh.

"That is was..." Draco smirked.

"You know when you told Harry it meant nothing...?" Neville asked nervously, wringing his hands awkwardly. Draco frowned and nodded, "Well at first I agreed but... well... Maybe it's just cause you're the first guy I've been with... I really like you Draco, really, really like you." Neville winced as Draco paled slightly.

"I really like you too." The blonde muttered, "But I screw up every relationship I have, I can't help it... I don't want to hurt you..."

Neville nodded, "I can understand that but... I'm willing to take that chance, because I don't think I can do this no strings attached stuff... This is my first real thing with a guy Drake... I want it to mean something. I understand if you can't accept that."

"I... I guess I could try a relationship. But you have to promise me something, the first signs that I'm acting different, suspicious or just plain angry all the time, call me on it and don't let it rest until I admit what's going on."

"Drake... What the hell?" Neville frowned.

Draco sighed and looked away, "You know Kyle Snowdon?" Neville nodded, he was a gorgeous Hufflepuff, the year above them. "I dated him last year." Draco admitted, "And I started to fall in love with him... But it freaked me out... So I... I..." He trailed off, tears streaking down his cheeks, "I started being really horrible to him, and then I slept with Blaise." Draco whispered, Neville stared at him in both shock and horror. "And now he wont even look at me, and it hurts because he wasn't just my boyfriend, he was my best friend too... Plus it screwed up everything with me and Blaise... I don't want to hurt anyone else like that, to see that look on their face when they find out what I'm really like."

Neville took a step closer to Draco, "You made a mistake, that's all... And the guilt that you feel makes me pretty sure you'd never let it happen again anyway." He murmured, "Just one quick thing... Are you still in love with Kyle?"

"No! No... I just... I miss him." Draco muttered.

Neville nodded, "Then I say we give this, us, a go..." He said gently, smilign at Draco.

Draco smiled back, still mildly worried about hurting Nev but glad the other teen trusted him, "Okay." He said in reply, kissing Neville softly. Neville kissed back, wrapping his arms around Draco's neck.

They drew apart as they heard footsteps pass the door and head downstairs. Neville flushed slightly, "I umm... Cleaned your jeans and stuff, they're there." He muttered, nodding to a small pile on the bedside table.

Draco smiled and rolled his eyes slightly, "Thanks." He said, picking up the pile of clothes. "You want me to sort out your neck?" He asked, nodding towards the love bite there, Neville turned crimson and gave a small nod so Draco cast a quick spell to hide the mark. "My Fath- Lucius is cooking eggs, you better get there now if you want any." Draco told the other boy.

Neville nodded and gave a small smile, he leant up and kissed Draco lightly, "I'll see you later." Was murmured before he left the room. Draco smiled to himself before heading to his own room to dump his clothes.

_**~*~*~*~HP~HP~*~*~*~**_

"Hey, You okay?" Severus asked, frowning at how confused Remus looked.

"I just had the weirdest conversation with my husband." Remus murmured.

Severus frowned, "Can't be as odd as some of the ones I've had with Lucius!" He laughed, Remus didn't respond and Severus sighed, "Walk and talk?" He offered. Remus gave a small nod and they headed off down the garden, going towards the small country lane that went into the local village, "So what was the conversation about?"

"Marriage, Sex... You."

"Me?!" Severus choked.

Remus nodded but didn't speak again until they were well on their way down the path, out of sight of the house. "I like you, a lot... Sirius knows that... He said, he said that he didn't mind if I acted on it." He said quietly.

Severus stopped and turned to look at Remus, "Lucius said the same..." He murmured.

"Yeah." Remus nodded, Sirius had told him as much. "It's so complicated.... I mean, Sirius might say he's okay with it but I really don't think he would be able to cope with seeing you around and not punching you if we did do anything."

Severus nodded, "I think Lucius would be okay at the time but later on... When we have big arguments he'll bring it up and use it against me."

"So it's better if we just ignore what they've offered." Remus said softy, Severus gave a slow nod, even though he was moving closer to Remus as he did so. Remus' tongue darted out to lick his lips and he couldn't help but move forwards and kiss Severus, Severus kissed back instantly, his hands moving to clutch as Remus' arse and he grinded their hips together, making Remus whine, Remus' own hands clutched at Severus' hair, tugging at it slightly. Slowly the kiss became more gentle than desperate and Severus ran his hands up and down Remus' back as the man stroked his hair. Finally they pulled apart and Severus rested his forehead against Remus' as they stared at each other and tried to catch their breathe, "So I guess ignoring it is out of the question." Severus said eventually making Remus chuckle.

"I feel guilty... Even though he said I could kiss you..." The werewolf muttered.

"I am too sober for this conversation." Severus said, looking towards the village and grinning when he spotted a bar, "Come on!"

_**~*~*~*~HP~HP~*~*~*~ **_

"I bet they just want permission to fuck each other!" Severus laughed.

Remus snorted, "No, No! I bet they just want to watch us!" He giggled making Severus fall off his stool with laughter,

Once he'd managed to sit up again the spy said, "God we married kinky fuckers," before motioning to the bartender for another drink.

"I think you've had quite enough sir." The barman said disapprovingly.

"Don't be ridiculous! I'm not drunk!" Severus slurred.

"Sir this is a high class place, we don't accept this sort of behaviour. Please don't make me call the police." The barman sighed.

"Don't worry, we're leaving. Rubbish place anyway!" Remus declared, grabbing hold of Severus and dragging him out of the bar.

They stumbled up the road back towards the house, stopping in the living room doorway when they saw Lucius and Sirius scowling at them, "Alright Lovers!" Severus giggled which set Remus off too.

"You're drunk." Lucius noted, curling his lip in disgust.

"No." Remus laughed,

Sirius pulled a face and dragged the two men into the living room, shutting and locking the door so that the boys didn't see them, then he cast a silencing charm, "What the hell were you thinking? What sort of an example are you trying to set your sons?" Sirius yelled.

"Like you can talk." Severus snorted, "We figured you out... We know you just want to watch us fuck."

"Wha- What?" Sirius croaked.

"Yeah." Remus giggled and surprised them all by pulling Severus into a kiss. Lucius and Sirius stared as their husbands made out and Sirius let out a small sigh, sitting down heavily on one of the sofas. He was surprised when, after pulling away from his kiss with Severus, Remus curled up next to him on the sofa and rested his head on Sirius' shoulder. "I still love you Siri Biri." The werewolf smiled before giving a yawn. This made Severus collapse into even more giggles and Lucius had to hold him upright.

"Yeah." Sirius sighed, exchanging a look with Lucius, "Come on then drunkard, let's get you to bed." He added, helping Remus to his feet.

_**~*~*~*~HP~HP~*~*~*~**_

* * *

_**Please review!**_

_**Also there will definately be Draco/Neville/Harry but not for a while, I want to establish Draco and Neville's relationship first. **_


	16. The morning after

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**The morning after the night before.**

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_**

Remus winced as he opened his eyes, ouch that light hurt. "Hey, I got you a hangover cure." Sirius said gently when he noticed that his husband was awake, he helped Remus sit up and swallow the potion, watching as he groaned and lay back down, burying his head in the pillow. Sirius sighed and dimmed the light before running his hand through Remus' hair, "I ran you a bath." He said quietly.

"Why?" Remus frowned, looking up from the pillow, he didn't deserve Sirius being so nice, he couldn't even remember getting home last night.

"Why?" Sirius repeated, "Well, because quite frankly Babe, you stink." He smirked. Remus simply stared at him before looking away again. "Go on." Sirius said quietly, "I'll fetch you some towels."

"What happened last night?" Remus asked timidly as he climbed out of the bed.

Sirius raised an eyebrow, "You don't remember?" He asked, god Remus looked so young stood there wearing only his boxers with his hair tussled.

"Last I remember is being kicked out of the bar." Remus mumbled.

"You got kicked out of a bar?!" Sirius asked in surprise and slight anger, if it was him behaving like that, even after everything that had happened, Remus would be yelling by now.

"Yeah." Remus whispered.

"Go have your bath Rem, we'll talk later." Sirius said, almost coldly before walking out of the room to go and fetch towels. Outside he bumped into Lucius, they exchanged glances before Sirius asked, "Hows Sev?"

Lucius shrugged, "Dunno, he was asleep half an hour ago, haven't seen him since, I left a hangover cure on the table by the bed." He said before walking off down the corridor.

Sirius frowned before he summoned some towels and took them into the bathroom, "Here." He said, dumping them on the chair,

"I'm really sorry." Remus whispered.

Sirius raised an eyebrow, "You remember then?" He said, Remus nodded guiltily, "Well I said you could kiss Sev..." Sirius shrugged, "And to be honest it was kind of hot." He said with a smirk, Remus groaned.

_**~*~*~*~*~HP~HP~*~*~*~*~**_

Severus woke up alone, he winced at the pounding in his head and frowned when he spotted a hangover cure on the bedside table. Severus drank the potion and pulled the duvet over his head as he felt it get to work. Twenty minutes later he pulled himself out of the bed, had a quick shower and got dressed before heading downstairs. Neville was pacing around outside the living room door and Draco was talking to him soothingly, Severus raised an eyebrow at the two and Draco suddenly blurted out, "Neville and I are dating." Neville stared at the other teen in horror but Severus simply nodded,

"That's nice."

"See, they're cool with it." Draoc told Neville.

The boy shrugged, "My mum and dad might not be..."

"They'll be fine." Severus soothed the boy, "Trust me." He patted Neville's shoulder and hugged Draco before heading into the kitchen. Harry was stood, rummaging through one of the cupboards and Severus smiled, "What you looking for?"

Harry jumped at hearing the man's voice and spun around guiltily, "Nothing!" He stammered.

Severus frowned and walked towards his son who looked at him with wide eyes, "Harry." Severus said and Harry looked away, biting at his lip. Severus glanced down, Harry was holding his arm stiffly, clutching the cuff of his top so that it was pulled over his hand, Severus let out a sigh and picked up the boy's hand, moving it so that it was at eye level. Harry continued to look away, his breathing quicker. Severus uncurled Harry's fingers from around the cuff and slowly pulled the top up Harry's arm, sighing at the sight of cuts and blood before him. "What were you looking for in the cupboard?" He asked his son gently.

"Bandages, I've run out..." Harry muttered.

Severus nodded, using his free hand to cup Harry's face and make the teenager look at him, "Why not just use a charm?"

"It wont scar."

"Oh." Severus removed his hand from Harry's face and pulled his wand out of his pocket, pointing it at Harry's arm and clearing some of the blood, "I'm going to use a smaller healing charm than usual, it closes cuts but doesn't heal completely." Severus said, Harry gave a small nod, looking away again. "Lochemorina." Severus said gently and the cuts on his sons arm closed, scabbing over instantly. "Okay?" Severus asked, Harry nodded again and Severus drew him into a tight hug. "Want to talk about it?" He asked, Harry remained tense in his father's arms as he shook his head. "Okay, Well as much as I hate that you do this to yourself I realise that I can't stop you, at least not just yet, but know that you can always come to me, I will heal you and we can talk if you wish. Or even just come to me so that I can be there with you, hold your hand..."

"I... I'll try." Harry said quietly, finally relaxing a little in Severus' hug.

_**~*~*~*~*~HP~HP~*~*~*~*~**_

"We can't be long, Draco said that he needed to talk to us." Sirius told Severus and Lucius as he sat down in the study, Remus sat next to his husband, biting at his lip slightly and avoiding looking at the other two.

Lucius nodded, "I have a confession to make." He said quietly, Severus frowned, his husband hadn't said anything to him, but then again he hadn't spoken to him since last night. "I made it all about Severus but the truth is... Well I'm attracted to the both of you as well." They all stared at him in shock. "I would happily have sex with you." Lucius added, as if he hadn't already made his point, noticing that Severus looked hurt Lucius sighed and took his husband's hand, "It's a physical attraction, nothing emotional about it. I mean I love the two of them to bits but not in the way I love you." Severus gave a small nod and squeezed his husband's hand gently to reassure him that he was okay with it.

"I..." Sirius trailed off, letting out a deep breathe. "So what are you suggesting? Because I feel the same." And he did, he really, really wanted Lucius but he wanted Severus too, perhaps not as much but he definately wanted him.

"Maybe, maybe we should..." Remus sighed, looking at the others, "We just have open relationships, but only with the four of us. So I'm okay with Sirius sleeping with either of you and vise versa and you two would be okay with the other one sleeping with either of us... If that makes any sense."

Lucius nodded, "It makes sense, and if it doesn't work then we just forget about it. Don't let it affect our friendship. We'd have to talk if we had issues. Not just try and avoid them." He said quietly, "Otherwise things would just go wrong." He glanced at Severus who had yet to speak, the man was staring at the floor, "Sev?"

"I don't know okay! I don't know." Severus snapped, the other three looked at him with worried expressions, "It's too comlicated, we've only just got our lives back as it is! And it's not fair on the kids, imagine how confusing it would be for them if they found out! Just... Give me some time to think damnit!" He stood up and stormed out of the room, leaving the others feeling both confused and guilty. "I'll go talk to him, or maybe just hug him." Lucius shrugged, "You guys said you needed to talk to Draco anyway." He reminded them.

Sirius nodded and watched as Lucius left the room, "Come on then." He said, "Let's go see what Drake wants."

_**~*~*~*~*~HP~HP~*~*~*~*~**_

"I... I am..." Why was this so difficult?! Draco asked himself, It wasn't like they could discriminate... He could see the mild confusion on his father's faces as they wondered what was up with him, "I am gay." Draco managed to get out finally.

"Oh." Remus said, "That's nice."

Draco bit at his lip, "Yeah..." He said.

Sirius, however, frowned, "You have a love bite." He said suddenly, having just noticed. Draco's hand instantly went to his neck, shit! He was going to fucking kill Nev! "Have you been sneaking out of the house?" Sirius continued.

Draco sighed, "No! Neville and I are in a relationship."

"Neville's gay?!" Remus choked out.

"Bisexual, and he only just figured it out so... Well it's early days." Draco said, giving a small shrug.

Remus smiled, "Congratulations, I really hope it works out for you both. Why don't we have dinner separately to everyone else sometime? In the spare dining room, and we can invite Neville. Get to know him as your boyfriend and not just James and Lily's son."

Draco glanced at Sirius who nodded, "Sure, sounds good. I'll mention it to him. I should go actually... He was gonna tell his parents too. I need to know how that went."

Sirius grinned, "Jay and Lil will be fine." He assured his son.

Draco nodded, "Thanks for... Well for being so accepting." He murmured, hugging both men before leaving.

_**~*~*~*~*~HP~HP~*~*~*~*~**_

Severus looked up as Lucius walked into their bedroom, "Sorry." The spy whispered.

"Don't be, we shouldn't have pushed you." Lucius said, sitting next to Severus on the bed.

Severus sighed, "Harry cut himself again this morning." He said, "I just healed it, leaving it to scar because that was what he wanted... I feel like I should have done more but... I mean, what else could I do? I told him he could always talk to me."

Lucius wrapped an arm around his husband, "You did all you could." He said gently, "We've just got to take this one step at a time."

Severus nodded, "I know... That's why I'm so bothered about this thing with Sirius and Remus! Harry's been through enough, if he finds out he'll be confused, and angry. We can't ignore his feelings for Sirius."

"You're right." Lucius murmured, "I didn't even think about that."

"And how are we meant to work out adding Sirius and Remus to our relationship when we can't even talk to each other?! You've barely looked at me today Luc."

Lucius winced as he saw how close Severus was to crying. "I... You being drunk last night, trying to solve all your problems by being pissed, it reminded me too much of myself before Harry was born. It scared me..." He tried to explain. Severus stared at his husband in shock, Lucius hadn't had an easy life, his father had beaten him often when he was younger and it hadn't got much easier after that, when he was seventeen his mother had committed suicide and Lucius had turned to alcohol to get him through it. He'd continued to drink after that, regularly going out and coming back pissed off his head, even after he and Severus moved in together. It was only when Severus had announced he was pregnant with Harry and would leave unless Lucius gave up drinking that Lucius finally stopped. He'd chosen to get professional help and cut out alcohol completely. Dumbledore had removed those memories from his mind though and several times over the past few years, whilst raising Draco, Lucius had turned to booze when things got too tough, now that he had Severus back he was trying to make a fresh start. "I'm sorry." Severus whispered, "I didn't even think."

"I know, it's okay. I'm sorry I was so off with you." Lucius murmured, running his fingers through Severus' hair. They were both quiet for a while, just taking the time to enjoy each others company, "We should talk to Sirius and Remus again," Lucius said finally, "Just to show them how complicated it could turn out... I guess I was kind of focusing on the positives."

"Hmm... I just don't want Harry to get more hurt than he already is."

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_**~*~*~*~*~HP~HP~*~*~*~*~**_

_**Hope you liked it, leave me a review and let me know what you thought **_

_**:)**_


	17. Wakey wakey

_**Somehow this chapter ended up all being set in one morning... Ah well... Hope you enjoy, Major angst coming up next chapter so enjoy the fluffiness whilst you can.**_

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_**~*~*~*~*~*~*~**_

**Wakey wakey...**

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Neville smiled as he woke up with his head resting on Draco's bare chest. Telling their parents had gone much better than either of them had expected, although Neville had had to endure 'the talk' because Lily and James weren't stupid enough to believe his grandmother had ever given it to him. It had come in handy though... Neville thought with a smirk as he remembered the night before, he hadn't gone all the way with Draco but there had been a lot of touching... and sucking. Neville grinned and ran his hand through Draco's hair, slowly waking him up, "Morning." The blonde croaked out.

"Morning." Neville said in reply, kissing Draco gently.

"What time is it?"

Neville glanced at the clock on the bedside table, "Just gone nine."

Draco nodded and sat up, "Move for a minute babe. My bladder is this close to exploding." Neville rolled off his boyfriend and watched as Draco climbed out of the bed and headed, still naked, into the en-suite. Neville leant back against the pillows and watched him walk away, smirking to himself. Draco re-emerged about five minutes later, "You want a shower?" he asked Neville.

"Hmm... Maybe in a bit." Neville smiled, pulling Draco back down onto the bed and kissing him, Draco grinned and kissed him back, thrusting his hips against Neville's and moaning as he felt the other teen's morning erection digging into his thigh.

"You are so fucking gorgeous." Draco whispered into Neville's ear before nipping at his neck and making the teenager yelp. Draco moved off Neville and slid his hand down the teenager's stomach before grasping his cock, Neville moaned loudly "Oh fuck yeah!"

Draco gave a small chuckle, "You like that?" He asked, Neville gasped in reply, kissing Draco's neck as the Blonde continued to stroke him, he moaned again.

Then they both froze as they heard, "Oh Sirius I love you!" Through the wall.

"Eww." Draco whimpered, letting go of Neville and sitting up.

"Do you think they heard us?"

"Nah... Probably too preoccupied shagging... Gross." Draco mumbled, "Oh god... What a turn off..."

_**~*~*~*~*~HP~HP~*~*~*~*~**_

"I'm cold." Severus mumbled, pulling the duvet over himself and giving a small shiver, he smiled to himself as Lucius cast a heating charm on the room, "Thanks."

"No problem." Lucius smiled, wrapping his arms around Severus and drawing him close, kissing him gently. "I love you." He whispered, Severus hummed and nestled closer into the hug, kissing Lucius' neck.

"Love you too." He murmured after a moment.

They both looked up when they heard a knock on the bedroom door, Lucius grabbed a tee-shirt and pulled it on, moving away from Severus, "Come in?" He half asked.

Harry was stood there, he looked like crap, "I had a bad dream..." The teenager mumbled, "Do you have any potions I can take to help me sleep?"

Severus sighed as he sat up, "You already had the dose for the week, if I give you anymore there's a high chance you'll get addicted." He said apologetically, Harry pulled a face and gave a small nod, turning to leave. "Come here." Severus ordered softly, climbing out of the bed, Harry walked over and let his father draw him into a tight hug. "Want to talk about it?" Severus asked, Harry shook his head, burying his face in Severus' tee-shirt and letting his tears fall, Severus stroked Harry's back and helped the boy sit down on the bed. Soon enough Harry was asleep in Severus' arms and Severus moved him so that he was under the covers and lay next to him, Lucius lay the other side. "Poor kid, I wish we could help him..." Lucius murmured, running his hand through Harry's hair.

"I'm working on a non addicitve dreamless sleep, I don't want to tell him though, in case it gets his hopes up and I can't make it." Severus admitted.

Lucius smiled and leant over Harry to kiss his husband, "You're amazing." He murmured.

"I know." Severus smirked making Lucius laugh, Harry gave a small mumble in his sleep and Severus ran his hand through his son's hair, "Hush little one." He whispered.

Lucius chuckled, "Half the time we still treat him like he's a baby." He pointed out.

"Well... That's how we remember him the most." Severus smiled,

"I wish we could have protected him from all of this." Lucius murmured.

Severus sighed, "Yeah, me too... But we can help him now." He said gently, smiling down at Harry who said

"Shu'p Ron," in his sleep, making both men laugh slightly.

**_~*~*~*~*~HP~HP~*~*~*~*_**

When James woke up there was no sign of Lily so he got dressed and headed off to find her, she was in the kitchen eating ice cream straight out of the tub. "What happened to a healthy diet?" James teased, kissing her softly.

"This stuff is awesome." Lily shrugged making James laugh, "Can we take a walk?" Lily asked quietly, James frowned and nodded, summoning his jacket. Lily put the ice cream back in the freezer and took James' hand, heading outside into the morning sun. "I'm glad that we got our memories back, I really am but... I miss what we had, New York, the flat... My job... I miss being able to wander around the flat naked, and have sex in every room without worrying who would walk in!" Lily said, "I miss it all Jay."

"I know sweetie... I do too." James replied, "But it wont be long until September and we'll have to go back so that Dumbledore doesn't get suspicious when you don't turn up for work." Lily was an english teacher in one of New York's best schools. "And soon enough Neville will have graduated and will want a place of his own anyway..." James pointed out.

"Yeah I guess... It's just strange going from having barely any problems to being thrust right back into this war."

"Tell me about it..." James muttered, "Still, at least we have our friends, our son, back."Lily smiled at that and wrapped her arms around James, kissing him gently, she pulled back suddenly, wincing and rubbing her stomach, "You alright babe?" James asked worriedly.

"Just stomach cramp." Lily muttered.

James smiled gently, "Let's go get you a hot water bottle and a mug of tea." He said, "Then we can watch some of those rubbish Romantic comedy's you love so much."

"They're not rubbish!" Lily laughed, wrapping her arm around James' waist as they walked back to the house. James simply rolled his eyes and went to put the kettle on, he was so used to doing things the muggle way he pretty much forgot he could use magic, "Still hurting?"

"Yeah." Lily said as she sat down. "Doesn't feel like normal period pain though."

James frowned and handed her a mug of tea and a hot water bottle, "Go see the Doctor if it still hurts tomorrow, better to be safe." He said as they went into the living room and curled up on the sofa.

Lily sighed, "Fine." She said, rolling her eyes, it was only a stomach ache, hardly the end of the world, she thought as she selected a film and used her wand to make it play. "Oh god..." James groaned, "Didn't we watch this last week?!"

"Yup." Lily grinned.

_**~*~*~*~*~HP~HP~*~*~*~*~**_

Sirius groaned as he woke up and the light from the window hit his eyes, "It burns!" He whined making Remus snort with laughter and climb out of the bed to close the curtains a bit. "Thank you." Sirius mumbled, letting out a small yawn.

Remus climbed back into the bed and wrapped himself around Sirius, "Love you."

"Love you too." Sirius whispered into his husband's neck before kissing him passionately. Remus kissed back, wrapping his legs around Sirius and grinding their hips together, Sirius pulled back, "Rem, It's full moon tonight, I don't want you getting too tired before hand." He said, Remus pouted, "Look, just wait until after the full, after you've recovered... Then we can have as much sex as you want. Promise." Sirius smiled. "Any way you want it." He added.

"Really?" Remus asked with a smirk.

"Really." Sirius said, not liking the smug look on Remus' face all that much.

Remus gave a small grin and kissed Sirius gently, "Love you." He said.

Sirius gave a mock hurt look, "I knew you were only with me for the sex!" He said.

"Hell yes!" Remus laughed, kissing his husband again, "We should probably get up soon..." He said after a while, Sirius gave a whine and buried further into the duvet making Remus laugh.

They both froze as they heard a loud moan from the room next door, followed by a "Oh fuck yeah..."

Remus paled, "Remnd me again who's in that room..." He whispered.

"Draco."

"Oh shit... We're gonna have to give the talk aren't we?" Remus said.

Sirius pulled a face, "I'm pretty sure Lucius already did." He said quietly.

Remus nodded, "But not the gay version."

"Isn't it pretty much the same? Be safe, be in love... All that."

"Well yeah but... Better to be safe than sorry... I really do not want to be a grandfather at thirty seven.! Remus said, Sirius pulled another face at the thought and nodded, resting his head against Remus' shoulder and mock retching as they heard another moan.

Remus smirked, "Oh Sirius I love you!" He said loudly and all sounds from the other rooms topped instantly.

Sirius giggled quietly into Remus' neck, "You're so mean."

"They're so young." Remus replied.

"Older than we were." Sirius pointed out.

Remus nodded, "We were too young... It messed stuff up remember? It became all about sex and then we broke up and... It was screwy Sirius... We should have waited, fourteen is no age to lose your virginity, no matter how in love you think you are..."

"You're right, it was too early in our relationship... Too early in our lives... I was thirteen Rem, You were fourteen." Sirius pointed out.

"And why do I suddenly feel like a paedophile?!"

_**~*~*~*~*~HP~HP~*~*~*~*~**_

* * *

_**Leave a review and let me know what you thought**_

_** :)**_


	18. The box

**_~*~*~*~*~*~*~_**

**_The box..._**

**_~*~*~*~*~*~*~  
_**

Harry woke up in a room he didn't recognise, it didn't take him long to remember it was his fathers room... Oh god, he'd cried himself to sleep in his father's arms like a baby... How fucking embarrassing was that?! "You're awake." Severus smiled as he walked back into the room, "Good, It's nearly midday and you need to eat." He added, Harry gave a small nod but didn't look at his father, Severus sighed and went to sit down on the bed, "How are you feeling now? Better after having a sleep?"

"Yeah thanks." Harry murmured.

"Want to talk about your dream?" Severus asked quietly.

Harry shrugged, "It's the same one I always get. Cedric dies, Voldemort laughs, Vernon calls me weak, Sirius dies... then everyone else dies too. Ever since I found out about you being my dad... well... Now in my dreams you and Father die too, and Rem, James and Lily." Harry muttered.

"Oh Harry..." Severus whispered, "I wish I could make it all better."

"Wishes never got anyone very far." Harry said bitterly, climbing out of the bed and leaving the room. Severus sighed and fell backwards onto the bed, all he had ever wanted was to give his son a good life and he hadn't even managed that. Slowly he stood up and headed downstairs, finding Lucius, Remus and Sirius sat in the kitchen. A glance out of the window showed him that Neville, Draco and James were playing Quidditch in the garden whilst Lily watched, laughing. Severus poured himself a mug of coffee and sat down, "Harry awake?" Lucius asked.

"Hmm hmm." Severus mumbled, he glanced at Remus and Sirius who were talking quietly.

Lucius and Severus exchanged looks before Lucius cleared his throat slightly, the other two men looked up. "Sev and I have been talking about... about us. And we've agreed that now is just not a good time, we need to focus on our relationship right now, and making it open probably wont help with that... There is also the minor fact that our son fancies you." He added, nodding at Sirius who flushed, "I mean, it would be confusing enough for Harry and Draco to understand as it is but when Harry likes you it's going to hurt him and we can't do that."

"I understand." Sirius said quietly, giving a half smile, Remus nodded his agreement.

"Maybe when we've sorted our relationship and Harry has moved on..." Severus said gently.

"Sure." Remus nodded.

There was an awkward silence for a moment until the back door opened and James walked in, he grabbed a glass and filled it with water before frowning as he noticed the tension, "What's going on?"

"Nothing." Severus replied quietly, James narrowed his eyes, did they think he was stupid or something?

James sipped at his water as Draco, Neville and Lily walked in. "I'm gonna take a shower." Neville said, wiping at some of the dirt on his face, Draco laughed and made to follow him from the room but was stopped by Sirius, "Can we have a word?" He asked quietly.

_**~*~*~*~*~HP~HP~*~*~*~*~**_

"We need to talk to you." Sirius told Draco as the teenager sat down in the living room, "Now, as pleased as we are for you and Neville, we're not quiet ready to be grandparents just yet." Sirius added and Draco turned crimson.

"I... We..."

"We just want to know that you're being careful." Remus said quietly, "And that you are aware of all the contraception types available."

"I..." Draco stuttered, getting even redder.

Sirius tried not to laugh, "It's okay, we get that this is embarrassing so we got you a pamphlet, and a book..." Draco breathed a sigh of relief that he wouldn't have to talk about his sex life with his parents, he took the pamphlet and book, kinda glad to have them since he'd not really needed to worry about contraception before, the other guy had always taken care of it. "If you ever do want to talk to us you know where we are." Remus told his son.

"Thanks." Draco said, giving a half smile.

"Since we're here, how are you coping with all the changes going on lately?" Sirius asked.

Draco shrugged, "It's a bit confusing really isn't it?" He muttered, "I was thinking, you know how Harry told Granger and Weasley? Well... Could I perhaps tell Pansy and Blaise? It'd be nice to have someone to talk to... Someone I know well..."

Remus and Sirius exchnaged looks before Sirius nodded, "I don't see why not, so long as you're sure they'll keep it to themselves."

"I trust them." Draco replied quietly.

Remus nodded, "Well invite them over if you want."

Draco pulled a face, "I was going to ask if I could go and see my mo- Narcissa in a few days, If I invite Blaise and Pansy to Malfoy Manor then it will make more sense, they'll get confused if they have to floo to a new address, and Pansy's Father would notice, he checks the floo. Then I could bring them over here from Malfoy Manor once I've explained everything."

Remus smiled, "Sounds like a good plan." He said, "Just let us know when you decide to go and see Narcissa."

"Sure, thanks... Dad." Draco said gently, feeling happy when Remus' face lit up.

"We haven't been too great on the parenting scale lately have we?" Sirius said sadly.

Draco shrugged, "You've been fine."

"No we haven't, we barely even got to know you! What are your hobbies? Who are your friends? That's the sort of thing we should have been asking weeks ago." Sirius frowned, feeling guilty.

Draco smiled, "I like to play Quidditch, talk to my friends, play guitar... You know, the usual teenage stuff..." He said, "Pansy's one of my best friends because we've known each other so long, everyone expects us to get married... Pansy's dad especially... Pansy just got together with Blaise, my other friend. We used to be really close but not so much anymore." Draco flushed slightly as he remembered why. "Greg and Vince are pretty good friends too but I don't know how much I can trust them... They'd never deliberately betray me but they're pretty thick at times so... Anyway there you go, hobbies and friends. Will you stop with the guilt now?"

"Your friends seem like nice people." Remus smiled.

"They are, you can meet Pansy and Blaise when they come over." Draco said.

Sirius grinned at his son, "How do you think they'll react to everything?"

"Blaise will swear in Italian and Pansy will, very calmly, set fire to something." Draco said instantly making the two men laugh.

Sirius frowned as he remembered something his son had said, "You play guitar."

Draco nodded, "But don't tell anyone! It's too much of a muggle thing to admit!" He grinned cheekily. Remus smiled, Draco reminded him a lot of Sirius at that age. "Maybe you could play for us sometime." He said.

Draco wrinkled his nose, "I'll think about it, but don't get your hopes up... It's nothing against you or anything, it's just my guitar is a sort of private thing."

Sirius nodded in understanding "Noted."

"Oh, since we're doing this heart to heart chat would now be a good time to mention that I have no socks?" Draco asked suddenly.

"Huh?"

"Socks, they've all disappeared. they do sometimes, usually Fathe- Lucius just buys me more."

Remus smiled, "You can call him Father you know, We understand it's difficult to just let go of the past fifteen years." He said softly and Draco smiled thankfully, "And we'll buy you more socks but try to keep track of them yeah?"

**_~*~*~*~*~HP~HP~*~*~*~*~_**

Lucius and Severus looked up as Harry walked into the living room, they had been enjoying a rare moment alone curled up on the sofa. "I want you to have this." The teenager blurted out, shoving a small box towards Severus.

The man frowned and opened the box, surprised to find it contained an assortment of bandages, healing salves and plasters. "Wha -"

"It's the stuff I use to clean up after I've... You know. Well anyway, I know it's not the same as promising not to cut but it's my way of promising I'll come to you afterwards, even if it's just to get the box. Then you'll know that I've cut..." Harry shrugged. "Although I can't even promise to come to you everytime, especially now I know the minor healing charm but... Well it's what you wanted right?"

"Oh Harry." Severus smiled, passing the box to Lucius and pulling his son into a tight hug, knowing that this was another step in the right direction, "I know how difficult this is for you and I am so proud." He said gently.

"Me too." Lucius chimed in, feeling mildly left out. Harry pulled away from Severus' hug and let himself be sat on the sofa in between the two men, he rested his head against Lucius' shoulder, making the man smile.

"I... This is all new to you, I get that." Harry mumbled, "But you have it understand I've been living through this, what Vernon does and the cutting... I've been living through it for years. And you say that I don't have to go back there, that he wont be able to do it again but it's not easy for me to believe that..."

"Well that's understandable." Lucius said gently, "But it will get easier to believe over time." He added, Harry gave a small smile then, letting himself be comforted by his fathers.

_**~*~*~*~*~HP~HP~*~*~*~*~**_

* * *

_**Let me know wha you thought :)**_


	19. Draco

**_~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~_**

**_Draco._**

**_~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~_**

Draco smiled at Neville who was asleep on the bed next to him, he leant over and kissed the teenagers forehead, waking him up, "Huh?" Neville groaned, "Wha' time izzit?"

"Just gone eight." Draco said, Neville groaned and Draco laughed, "Go to sleep babe, I'll see you when I get back."

"Back?"

Draco grinned at how tired Neville was, "I'm going to see my mother, Narcissa, today remember? Then telling Pansy and Blaise about everything..."

Neville sat up then and scowled, "Oh yeah." He mumbled.

Draco sighed and took Neville's face in his hands, "Blaise is my friend Nev, you have to accept that and trust me..." He said, trying not to lose his temper.

"You're right, I'm sorry." Neville whispered guiltily.

"Don't worry about it." Draco shrugged, he leaned over and kissed Neville softly, "Go back to sleep." He repeated before moving off the bed and pulling on his boxers from the day before, he then left the room and went into his own. Draco headed into his en-suite and had a quick shower before getting dressed and going downstairs. Remus was sat in the kitchen talking quietly to Lucius, Draco frowned as he walked in and wondered if he was imagining the tense atmosphere. "Hey, you ready to go?" Lucius asked, he was going to Malfoy Manor with Draco because he had gather some of his things together as well as deal with some business.

"Yup."

"You should eat first." Remus said quietly.

"We'll get food when we're there." Lucius replied, Draco frowned some more, nope, definitely not imagining the tenseness. Remus simply nodded in reply to what Lucius had said, "Have fun." He murmured, squeezing Draco's shoulder as Lucius led the teenager to the floo.

Narcissa was sat in the drawing room waiting for them, she stood up as they walked in and hugged Draco, kissing his cheek before doing the same to Lucius. "It's good to see you both, it's been lonely here without you. What time are your friends arriving?" Narcissa asked Draco.

"Around ten." Draco replied.

"I'm going to sort some paperwork out." Lucius said, he gave Draco's shoulder a small pat, "I'll be in my study if you need me." Draco nodded and smiled, watching him leave.

"So... Tell em all about your new family." Narcissa ordered, Draco looked at her then, she was smiling but still seemed tense, he sighed but smiled too, launching into a long discussion about Remus and Sirius.

_**~*~*~*~*~HP~HP~*~*~*~*~**_

"Drakey!" Pansy grinned, flinging her arms around the blonde, "I've missed you! How are you? What's new? How -"

"Merlin Panse, Give the guy some breathing space." Blaise interrupted, giving Draco a lopsided grin which Draco returned awkwardly.

"Oh shush you!" Pansy said, swatting Blaise's arm, "So..." She prompted Draco.

"Umm... It's complicated... So just, listen and keep quiet.. Please?" He asked, his friends looked at him suspiciously but nodded. Draco sat down and motioned to the others to do the same, then he took a deep breathe and told them everything, all about Dumbledore working with Voldemort, all about Remus and Sirius really being his parents, all about Harry being Lucius and Severus' son. When he finished talking Pansy and Blaise stared at him before Blaise snorted, "Do you really expect us to believe that? Have you been taking pills again?"

"Draco's telling the truth." Lucius said from the doorway, "He has not been taking pills... again." He added dangerously, scowling at Draco who flinched.

"But... But..." Blasie trailed off, standing up and pacing a bit before he suddenly let out a stream of Italian words,

Lucius raised an eyebrow, well aware of what the words meant. "Language." The older man said calmly and Blaise turned to him.

"You can't seriously believe this!"

"It's the truth Blaise." Lucius said gently. "I can prove it if you wish, do a DNA test or show you my memories."

Pansy stared at the man, "If you're willing to go to those lengths then I guess it can't be a lie." She mumbled, running a hand through her hair, "Merlin." She slowly pulled out her wand, turned to the window and cats a spell to set fire to the curtain,

Lucius had been expecting it and so put the fire out instantly, getting rid of the smell too. "When are you going to learn how to channel your anger into something other than vandalism?" He asked tiredly.

"Sorry." Pansy muttered.

"So... Bloody hell." Blaise mumbled, letting out a deep breathe, "This is wierd man."

Draco snorted, "Tell me about it." He said.

"Could we... Meet your new family?" Pansy asked quietly.

Draco nodded, "Sure, we can floo there now." He pointed the other two into the study where they could find the floo powder and was about to follow them when Lucius grabbed his arm, rather painfully.

"Pills?" The older man growled.

"It's... It's a long running joke!" Draco stuttered.

"Hmm... You and I will be having a long chat after your friends leave. And mark my words, if Blaise was telling the truth then your seating arrangements are going to be very uncomfortable for the rest of the holidays, regardless of who your parents are now." Lucius said angrily before releasing Draco's arm and pushing him towards the study.

**_~*~*~*~*~HP~HP~*~*~*~*~_**

Pansy stared at Sirius who stared back, "So... You're Draco's father?" Pansy asked eventually.

"I am, yes. Well... One of them." Sirius replied.

"And Proffessor Lupin is the other?"

"Yes." Sirius confirmed, Pansy let out a long sigh and her hand twitched towards her wand but a scowl from Lucius stopped her. She glanced over to where Blaise and Draco were talking quietly, before looking at everyone else in the room. Proffessor Snape was sprawled on one of the sofa's speaking to James Potter, Longbottom was sat next to them, Pansy turned back to Blaise and Draco as Blaise let out a strangled sound. "Longbottom?!" The teenager half yelled, drawing everyones attention to them, "Longbottom?!"

"Yes." Draco muttered, wincing slightly.

"You're shagging Longbottom?!" Blaise asked angrily, Pansy's eyebrows shot up.

"Dating." Draco corrected quietly.

Blaise blinked, "Da - Dating?! You're insane..." He choekd out.

"Charming." Neville muttered and Pansy vaguely noticed James Potter squeezing his son's shoulder gently.

Draco sighed, "B..."

"No! I have accepted all your wierd shit about your parents, it's not like it's your fault. But you're choosing to be with Longbottom?! I mean... Why? What's the appeal... Only a few months ago you called him a spineless pathetic twat!" Blaise snapped, Draco winced as Neville raised an eyebrow.

"B has a point..." Pansy murmured.

"Look," Draco sighed, "Since we were young we've been told that Gryffindors are horrible and that we should hate them. We accepted that ideal, no questions asked.... But when you get to know them, without anyone else's opinion, they're not that abd... Kind of average to be honest." He tried to explain, Remus looked at his son with pride.

Pansy nodded, "Okay." She said softly.

Blaise continued to scowl until Draco looked at him pleadingly, "Fine." He muttered eventually, giving a small smile at the way Draco's whole face lit up. There was silence int he room for a moment before Lucius decided to change the subject, "When do your parents expect you home?" He asked Pansy and Blaise.

"Umm... Father wanted me home by four." Pansy replied.

Blaise shrugged, "Whenever really, dad's at work and wont be home till late." He said.

Lucius frowned, "Where's your mother?"

Blaise shrugged again, "Paris I think." He said.

Draco smiled, "We're gonna go up to my room for an hour or so until Pansy has to leave." He told Sirius who nodded.

"It was nice to meet you." Pansy said quietly, Blaise simply nodded and they headed into the hallway. Draco leant over the back of the sofa and pressed a small kiss to Neville's cheek, "Sorry about B." He muttered in the boy's ear before following his friends.

"Where's your other dad?" Pansy asked Draco.

"Got called by Dumbledore." Draco said, Sirius had told him when he'd got back from Narcissa's, "And Dumbledore thinks he's living here alone with only Harry so Harry got sent to the Weasley's for the day."

"Don't they trust him on his own?" Blaise smirked.

"I think they're more worried about him being attacked if he's left alone for too long." Draco pointed out, rolling his eyes, Blaise simply wrinkled his nose and followed Draco up the stairs.

**_~*~*~*~*~HP~HP~*~*~*~*~_**

"Blaise not with you?" Lucius asked as Draco stepped back through the floo, having been to Malfoy Manor with Pansy so that she could floo home.

"He went home too... Said he needed to get his head together or something. But he also said he'd see me again before the start of term so at least he doesn't hate me."

"Of course he doesn't hate you! It's just a shock that's all." Lucius said, Sirius nodded his agreement.

"Where is everyone?" Draco asked, noticing that it was only the three of them.

"Remus and Harry are still out, Lily and James took Neville out for dinner and Sev is making some potions for Poppy Pomfrey." Lucius said, "We," He added, motioning to himself and Sirius, "Need to talk to you."

Draco frowned and sat down, "Oh?" He said.

Sirius sighed, "Lucius told me what Blaise said when you first told him everything. What did he mean by pills?" He asked his son who winced inwardly.

"It's just a long running joke." He said feebly.

Lucius pursed his lips, "I raised you for fifteen years Draco, I know when you're lying."

Sirius looked at his son sternly, "You'll be in a lot less trouble if you just tell us the truth." He said quietly.

Draco wrinkled his nose, "I... We won a Quidditch match just before Christmas... There was a major party to celebrate and some seventh years were selling pills. I bought one." He mumbled, "Most of my friends did! It was only the once..." He sighed at the looks of pure fury on both men's faces.

"Just the once?" Sirius clarified, Draco nodded, "Well, I wasn't parenting you at the time, which for your sake is a good thing." The man said, glancing at Lucius.

Lucius winced, "I don't think I ever even educated you about drugs..." He said sadly, Draco stayed silent.

"Right, I want you to spend three hours in the library tomorrow finding out exactly what that pill would do to your body if you continued to take it on a regular basis." Sirius said.

"What?!" Draco moaned.

"Oh trust me, you are getting off lightly." The animagus growled, Lucius nodded his agreement and Draco scowled. They were all silent for a while until, around ten minutes later, Draco stood up. "Where are you going?" Lucius asked.

"To my room." The teenager snapped.

"So you can angst to your self about how horrible we are?" Sirius teased.

Draco tried, and failed, to hide his small smile, "Pretty much." He grumbled before going, leaving Sirius and Lucius alone.

**_~*~*~*~*~HP~HP~*~*~*~*~_**

* * *

_**I'm gonna use every chapter from now on to focus on a different person or storyline... Let me know who you want next chapter to focus on. And, as always, any ideas you have for the future plot will be gratefully recieved.**_

_**Thanks to everyone who reviewed the last chapter, you're awesome.**_

_**SexySiri.**_

_**:)**_


	20. Running shoes

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**_Running shoes.  
_**

**_~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~  
_**

Neville wriggled about a bit, trying not to appear too bored... He was glad about getting to know his parents better but, well to be honest he'd rather be spending the time with Draco. Neville let out a small sigh at the thought of his boyfriend, he did trust Draco, of course he did, but that didn't mean he had to like the fact that the other teenager was alone with Zabini... Well he said alone, Parkinson was there too... But still! "So you like Herbology?" Lily asked, interrupting Neville's thoughts.

"Well yeah... It's one of the only subjects I'm actually good at."

"I'm sure that's not true." James chipped in, Neville simply shrugged and ate some more ice cream. Lily and James exchanged frustrated looks, wishing their son would open up some more, "So what about Herbology is it you like?" James asked.

Neville shrugged again, "It's just cool... The way the plants grow and stuff..." He said quietly, not really wanting to go into the fact that he'd been bought up believing his mother, Alice, was a great Herbologist and had wanted to follow in her footsteps. Bloody woman didn't even exist anyway.

"Nev? Are you okay?" Lily asked with a frown, noticing her sons expression change.

Was he okay? Was he okay?! No he wasn't bloody well okay! He was tearing up inside, he desperately needed to punch something! He -... "I'm fine. Can we go home now?" Neville said, clenching his fists under the table, James sighed and called for the bill.

**_~*~*~*~HP~HP~*~*~*~_**

"Hey, have a good dinner with your parents?" Draco asked with a grin when he bumped into Neville in the corridor.

"Fine." Neville said shortly.

"You okay?" Draco frowned.

Neville growled, "I'm fine! Why does everyone keep asking me that?!" He snapped before stomping into his room and slamming the door behind himself, leaving a baffled Draco stood there. Neville crossed to his trunk, that he still hadn't unpacked because he was sure this was all just a dream and his gran would come and get him soon, he dug through the trunk before pulling out a pair of jogging bottoms and some running shoes. Neville got changed before pulling on the wand holder his Uncle Algy, or whoever the hell he actually was, had given him last Christmas, he tucked his wand into it, not really liking the feel of his wand against his wrist but knowing he may need it, should death eaters, or order members, decide to attack. Nev pulled off his jumper so that he was just in his tee-shirt and then headed downstairs, Harry was sat in the kitchen talking to Lucius and looked up as Neville walked in, "Nev?" He asked but Neville simply walked past him, going outside and starting to run down the path, he could almost feel Harry's eye roll but ignored it, instead focusing on moving his feet. Sirius had mentioned, in some random conversation when Neville first arrived, that the path wound all around the grounds, stayed inside the wards, and lasted about six miles before arriving back at the back door. Neville cleared his head of all thoughts, simply focusing on the thumping of his feet as they hit the ground, on the wind in his hair and the rustling of the leaves. He was just over half way around when he started to get a stitch, shit... Neville continued to run, hoping it would go away but by the time the house came into view again he knew it was a lost cause and slowed down, flopping down onto the bench by the back door and looking at Harry who was also sat there, "Shoulda stretched first." Harry said, Neville grunted in reply and took the bottle of water he was handed, "Forgot how fast you were." Harry added with a smile, watching as Neville sat forwards, resting his elbows on his knees and resting his head in his hands as he took deep breath's of air. The sound of the back door opening made him stand up and drop the water bottle onto the bench, not wanting to talk to anyone just yet, as he started to run again he heard Harry talking to whoever had come outside but didn't pay enough attention to listen to the actual words, figured Harry was explaining that Neville needed to run before he exploded or something. The first run had loosened him up enough that the stitch didn't return, Neville let the path guide him, glad it was circular and that he didn't have to make any decisions, he let his feet pound against the ground, felt the sweat trickle down his back, and for the first time since arriving at this goddamn place he felt at peace... His friends, if he could call them that, Dean and Seamus, they'd never understood why Neville liked running so much, never understood the appeal. But when he was running he could be alone, and that was all Neville ever really wanted, cowardly as it might seem... As glad as he was to find out he had real living, not insane, parents, he knew it put him up there in the war, being James and Lily Potter's son... And Neville didn't want that, he just wanted to be left alone dammit! As he ran past the house again, he vaguely clocked that the person sat with Harry was Remus, Neville allowed himself a small smile as he continued to run. Remus was nice, he liked Remus, Neville would never forget how kind the man had been to him in his third year, how he'd made Neville not hate school quiet so much... Of course Remus had no idea how much he had saved Neville, had no idea about the stash of pain relief potions Neville had been quietly gathering under his bed, waiting till he had enough, until the defense professor had showed how great life could be. It was amazing how small, kind, gestures managed to save lives... Neville shook his head, clearing it of all thoughts and focusing once again on the pounding of his feet as he ran past a small pond, he could feel a bead of sweat trickling down his forehead and raised his hand to wipe it away before it dripped in his eye. He listened to the rustling of the leaves, to the steady, slightly fast, beat of his heart, to the hoots of the owls. It was only as he let out a yawn that he started to slow down, just in time to reach the house again. Neville came to a stop in front of the bench, grabbing the water bottle Harry held out, he sat down on the grass to drink it as he stared at the stars above him, he wasn't all that surprised when Harry joined him on the grass. "Don't stay out too long, you'll catch colds." Came Remus' quiet voice from somewhere to Neville's left and then the sound of the door opening and closing. Neville took another swig of water before tipping the rest of the bottle over his head to cool himself and lying down, Harry lay down next to him.

"I liked my old life..." Neville muttered, trying to voice all the confusing thoughts that had been going through his head lately, "My old life made sense... This one makes no sense! At least last time there was a clear enemy... This time everyone could be evil and no-one's who they say they are! It's like Alice through the fucking looking glass." He grumbled, not having to look at Harry to see the raised eyebrow at the muggle reference. Neville didn't bother explaining, didn't particularly want Harry laughing at him as he admitted he'd read the books to impress Hermione during his short lived crush on the girl. "I bloody hate it!" Neville spat, scowling up at the stars.

"Wish I could sympathise..." Harry started and Neville frowned at his amused tone, "But my life's always been pretty weird." Neville couldn't help it, he snorted and then, somehow, seconds later, he and Harry were laughing hysterically. "Oh god." Harry gasped as he calmed down and wiped his eyes on his sleeve, "I haven't laughed like that in so long..."

Neville ran a hand through his wet hair and leant his head against Harry's shoulder, Harry didn't seem to notice how wet Neville's head was since he didn't try to jerk away, he simply patter the boy's head. Harry understood, Neville thought, Harry always understood. "What did Remus want?" Neville asked quietly.

Harry smiled at that, "He was worried about you, apparently you freaked Draco out a bit..."

Oh god, he'd snapped at him..."I snapped at him." It sounded even worse out loud.

Harry raised an amused eyebrow and Neville scowled at him, it wasn't funny dammit! "Why?" Harry asked.

"He asked if I was okay." Neville shrugged, wincing as he realised just how crappy that sounded.

Harry seemed to find it funny though since he snorted, "Bad move that." He teased.

Arrogant twat, "Oh shut up."

**_~*~*~*~HP~HP~*~*~*~_**

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**_I know this was mildly different to the other chapters due to lack of lots of dialogue but I hope you liked it anyway and I hope it gave you a better view of Neville's character... Let me know what you think._**


	21. Wolf

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**_Wolf._**

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Severus smiled, running his hand through Remus' hair before rubbing some more ointment into one of the bruises forming on his friends face, "How are you feeling?" He asked as Remus' eyes opened.

"Just achy." Remus mumbled, smiling slightly as Severus helped him sit up and then handed him a bar of chocolate, "Thank you."

"No problem." The spy smiled.

"Where's Sirius?" Remus asked, yawning before opening his bar of chocolate.

Severus sat on the edge of the bed, "Helping Lily make you breakfast," He said, "James and the boys are playing Quidditch in the garden and Luc had to go out, business stuff." He explained. Remus nodded, biting into the chocolate bar and smiling, closing his eyes and making Severus laugh, "You are such an addict." He said, Remus simply grinned and ate some more chocolate. Severus sighed, did Remus have any idea how erotic he made eating chocolate look?! Of course he did... Bloody bastard. "I'll go get Sirius." He mumbled, turning and fleeing the room. Remus stared after him in confusion before shrugging to himself and finishing the bar of chocolate.

The door opened a few minutes later and Sirius walked in, a tray of food floating behind him. "Morning gorgeous." Sirius smiled, placing the tray on the bedside table and climbing into the bed next to Remus, handing him a glass of pumpkin juice.

"Thanks Honey." Remus smiled, kissing Sirius softly before sipping at his drink.

"I love you." Sirius said quietly

"Love you more."

"Nuh huh." Sirius smiled, shaking his head.

Remus smiled, "Fine... Love you equally." He said, kissing Sirius again.

"Ewww...." Came Harry's voice from the doorway, "What? It is." He shrugged when they both looked at him, "Dad wants to know if you need any pain relief potions." He asked Remus.

The werewolf's face lit up, "Ooh please... that would be nice." He said,

Harry nodded and left the room, returning a moment later with two vials of potion. "He says to take one now and then another in an hour or so... At least I think that's what he said." The teenager frowned.

"Sounds about right." Remus smiled, "How are you?" He added, the teenager had pretty much avoided him since kissing Sirius and Remus was starting to miss him.

Harry shrugged, "I'm alright... How are you?"

"A bit achy but not bad considering." Remus smiled.

"Good... Good..." Harry said awkwardly, "I'll just... Leave you guys alone then." He added, turning and leaving quickly. Remus sighed quietly, wishing he could help the teenager but knowing that Harry wouldn't let him in.

Sirius frowned, watching Remus' expression turn sad, "It'll be okay babe, you'll see." He said soothingly.

"Hmm... No it wont, I've let him down too many times." Remus muttered.

"Baby -"

"Don't." Remus interupted, "I don't want to talk about it."

Sirius sighed, "Okay... Okay. So, you got enough energy to come downstairs and chat with the others?"

**_~*~*~*~*~HP~HP~*~*~*~*~_**

Remus gave a jolt as he woke up, he frowned and looked around the room, sighing when he found it empty, he must have fallen asleep whilst talking to James and Severus... Damnit! He hated it when that happened, made him seem weak and fragile. Remus looked up as the door opened and Harry walked in, crossing to the bookshelf and selecting a book, he glanced at Remus and frowned when he saw the man was awake, "Did I wake you up?"

"No, no." Remus smiled, sitting up slightly and brushing his hand through his hair.

Harry nodded, "Can I get you anything?"

"I'm fine thanks." Remus said, Harry nodded again and turned to leave the room, "Harry! You know you can talk to me right? About anything." Remus said gently.

Harry gave the werewolf an odd look, "Umm... Yeah, cheers Remus." He said before leaving. Remus sighed to himself again, finding himself missing the teenager immensely.

He looked up as the door opened again, this time it was Draco who walked in, "Hey... Dad." He said making Remus grin, they were slowly getting more used to each others company and Draco was getting more used to calling Remus dad. The teenager had yet to refer to Sirius in such a way though, which Remus knew was upsetting his husband yet didn't want to press Draco about for fear of pushing the boy away. "How are you feeling?" Draco asked, sitting down next to his father.

"Not bad, I'm getting too old for this though." Remus smiled, surprised when Draco turned pale.

"Don't say that!!" The teenager yelped.

Remus frowned, "Drake..."

"I read books okay! When I found out you were my dad I read books on werewolves... Most of them don't make it past forty... Do they?" The teenager whispered, tears in his eyes.

Remus sighed, "No, no they don't." He admitted.

"And you're already thirty seven."

"Yeah..."

"There must be something we can do..." Draco pleaded.

"The wolfsbane helps." Remus smiled, "Makes the transformations less taxing on my body. Look... Drake, don't worry about it okay? There are people working on cures all the time." He added, Draco gave a small nod and rested his head against Remus' shoulder, Remus smiled and ran his fingers through his son's hair, glad of the close relationship he and Draco were getting.

**_~*~*~*~*~HP~HP~*~*~*~*~_**

Remus looked up as Severus walked into the bedroom, closing the door behind himself, "Sirius told me you said you had a turn, he wants me to check you over." The spy said.

"I'm fine." Remus said, not even believing himself.

"Rem..." Severus sighed.

"I just felt dizzy." Remus muttered, "I might have blacked out for a few seconds... I don't know."

Severus nodded and cast a few diagnostic charms on Remus, getting the man to lie back on the bed, "Where were you?"

"Sat here, then I felt dizzy and next thing I know I'm lying down... Which is why I think I might have passed out."

Severus nodded again, "Your blood pressure's higher than it was even this time last month, and your heart rate is up too..." He said quietly, worry showing clearly on his face. Remus sighed, turning so that his head was buried in one of the pillows, he knew what Severus was trying to say, it was even clearer after his conversation with Draco earlier... He was dying, and no-one knew how long he might have left, how many more transformations his body could take. "Are you okay?" Severus asked gently, running his hand across Remus' back.

"Yes." Remus lied.

"Rem... It'll be fine, people are working on cures all the time- "

"Don't!" Remus interrupted, sitting up and scowling at the other man, "Just don't, that is the exact same bullshit I told Draco earlier when he started to worry! I'm not stupid Severus. I know what's going to happen." Remus wiped at his eyes when he felt them prickle with tears, "I'm not scared of dying, I've been expecting this since I was six years old... I just don't want to leave Sirius, or Draco... Not so soon after getting them back. I don't want to leave the rest of you either." He mumbled, managing a small smile when Severus sat next to him and pulled him into a tight hug.

"I'm not going to let it happen!" The spy said, "I'm going to do everything I possibly can to make sure it doesn't happen!" He promised, pulling back from Remus and pressing a soft kiss to the man's lips before moving away completely and standing up. "I'm going to go and fetch a potion to bring your blood pressure down a bit okay? And I'll get you a mug of tea, then you need to sleep." Remus nodded and watched the man leave, once he was gone Remus raised his fingers to his lips, had Severus even noticed that he'd kissed him? Or had it seemed so much like the right thing to do that Severus had missed that he'd done it? Remus gave a small sigh, as if his life wasn't complicated enough, he grumbled to himself.

**_~*~*~*~*~HP~HP~*~*~*~*~_**

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_**Hope you enjoyed the chapter, let me know what you think.**_

_**SexySiri**_


	22. You'll be alright

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**_"You'll be alright."_**

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Harry gave a sniff, wrapping his arms around his knees and trying to ignore how much he was shaking, or how he kept glancing towards the razor on his dressing table... He couldn't... He wouldn't... He'd promised his fathers he wouldn't... But he needed to... Oh god did he need to... Harry reached out with his foot and knocked a cup off the bedside table, wincing as it shattered, however it had the desired effect and a few minutes later his door opened and Severus looked in, "I heard a smash." The spy said before frowning as he saw Harry curled up on the bed, shaking, "Harry?"

"I need... I have to... I'm trying so hard not to, dad."

Severus frowned some more for a moment before realising what Harry meant and going to sit by his son, holding him close, "You are doing so well. Did you drop that cup so that we'd hear it, and come and stop you?"

"Was scared that if I moved to come and find you I'd grab the razor instead." Harry mumbled into his father's shirt.

"That's good Harry, that you're trying not to." Severus said gently, stroking his son's hair. "So what's bought this on? What are you feeling right now?"

Harry gave a small shrug and continued to clasp his hands around his knees, "I'm so lonely dad." He whispered finally, "All of you have each other but I have no-one... I'm either having to play gooseberry to Nev and Draco or having to watch all you adults snuggle up. I'll never have that."

"Of course you will!"

"No I wont... I'm gay dad. But I'll never trust a guy with my body... I mean, sure I can do the quick fucks that mean nothing but... I'll never trust someone I care about not to hurt me." Harry whispered.

Severus sighed, "Well I hope you're wrong, I hope you do find someone you can trust." He murmured, holding Harry close, "But what can we do in the meantime to make you feel better right now?

"Don't know." Harry mumbled.

"Would ice cream help?" Severus asked gently with a small smile.

"Maybe." Harry responded, trying to stop the shaking, then he shook his head, "No, no dad... I need... I have to..."

Severus sighed, "No you don't Harry, you want to but you don't need to. You can stop this, that's why you called me right?"

"Yes... No! I don't know... I need to..." Harry said, scratching at his legs.

"Harry stop it!" Severus said, a little bit angrier than he'd hoped and Harry looked at him in fear. "You can get through this." Severus whispered.

Harry shook his head desperately, "Just a small cut dad... Please." He begged.

Severus bit at his lip, "How about I give you a sleeping draught? It wont deal with everything but it will deal with the issue at the moment, and hopefully when you wake up you wont feel the need to cut... We can deal with the deeper issues then. See about getting you some help."

"No! No... I just... I need to pee." Harry lied, jumping off the bed and running into the bathroom. He sat down on the lid of the loo and grabbed his spare razor off the side of the bath, dragging it across the skin of his arm twice before wrapping a bandage around the cuts and yanking his sleeve down, breathing a small sigh of relief. Then Harry flushed the toilet and washed his hands quickly before leaving the room. Severus was stood by the door when Harry walked out, the spy grabbed his son's hands, sliding his sleeves up and sighing. "Oh Harry..."

"Sorry." Harry mumbled, tears in his eyes as Severus pulled him into a hug.

"It's okay, it's okay." Severus murmured, moving back slightly, the bandage on Harry's arms was already turning a faint pink as blood seeped through. Severus slowly unravelled the bandage and cast minor healing charms on the cuts, watching as they stopped bleeding and instead scabbed over. "We have to deal with this Harry... You need help."

"No!"

"Yes." Severus said, "Now you have a choice. You can try talking to Remus or we can get you an appointment at St Mungo's."

"What if I don't want to talk to anyone?" Harry grumbled.

"Then we'll get Remus to tell Molly Weasley that you're self harming and she will almost definitely get you admitted to St Mungo's anyway." Severus said quietly, knowing there was a very big chance that Harry would never forgive him for this but also knowing it had to be done.

Harry pursed his lips, "That's not fair!" He growled, moving away from Severus and leaving the room quickly.

**_.~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~._**

Remus and Sirius were lying on their bed, chatting, when there was a knock on the door, Remus frowned and went to open it, revealing Harry. "Can I talk to you?" He asked the man, not sounding too happy about it.

"Umm... Sure." Remus said, "I'll be back in a bit." He told Sirius who nodded. Harry and Remus headed to the library and Harry closed the door firmly, sitting down at the small table. "I cut myself earlier..." Harry muttered, "And my dad said I have to speak to either you or some St Mungo's freak so..." He trailed off.

"So you want to talk to me?" Remus asked.

"It's not really a matter of 'want'" Harry muttered moodily.

"Right, right... So now or...?" Remus let the question hang.

"Whatever."

Remus took a deep breathe, knowing he had to get this right, "Okay, well... Do you want a game of chess?"

"What?"

"Chess, would you like to play?"

Harry's stared at Remus for a moment, "No... No I do not want a game of chess!" He said angrily, "I want you to talk to me, tell me I'm not insane and then tell my darling father that I've talked to you!"

Remus sighed, "Right... It's just that I want you to feel comfortable so..."

"Well that's not going to happen with you is it?" Harry muttered moodily.

"Because you're in love with my husband." Remus nodded making the teenager look up at him in shock. There was a mildly awkward silence for a while as Harry stared at the table and scraped at a bit of paint that was on it. Remus stayed quiet, wanting Harry to talk to him but knowing he wouldn't until he was ready. "I'm not in love with him." Harry said finally.

"No?" Remus asked in surprised, "It just seems that way that's all."

Harry scowled and ground his teeth, looking towards one of the bookshelves, "I... Sirius is... Well he's hot."

Remus couldn't help but laugh, "That he is." He said, wincing slightly as Harry's lips pursed. "So that's the only reason you like him?" He prompted.

"Do we have to talk about this?!" Harry snapped.

"No, of course not. What would you rather discuss?" Remus asked and Harry shrugged.

The teenager bit at his lip, "Look... It's... Sirius is gentle okay... He's always so kind and gentle and... I... He's the only one I'd ever be able to trust not to not hurt me. There is no-one else in the world I can feel that around. I don't trust easily... And when I do... I dunno." Harry sighed, trailing off and running a hand through his hair awkwardly.

"Trust him not to hurt you sexually or...?" Remus prompted.

Harry shrugged, "Yeah, I guess. I trust him anyway, with my life, and like I said I don't trust many people with that so... It wasn't difficult to realise how much he cared about me and that he'd never hurt me, ever. So I guess I just... Like I said, he's hot and when I added that to the fact I knew he's never hurt me it just seemed logical to try and get him. And yes, I know he's married to you, and I know he has a kid with you but... You know what? It's not bloody fair! I never get anything I want and... God!" Harry let out a growl and tugged at his hair.

"You want him because he's safe." Remus clarified.

"Yeah... Yeah. That's a shit reason to want someone isn't it?! And you know the best part, even if he did want me back and, in some crazy world, we got together, I'd stop trusting him... Because he would have left you for me... he would have hurt you and why wouldn't he do the same to me?!" Harry sighed, "And he will someday anyway I'm sure... People let you down, they can't help it. God this is so stupid! Of course I don't love him! I mean... Yeah I love him but I'm not in love with him you know? He's just... Well like you said, he's safe."

Remus nodded, "Well that's understandable... After everything you've been through..." He murmured.

Harry sniffed loudly and wiped his nose on his sleeve, laughing when Remus handed him a tissue, "Sorry, never got the whole manners thing sorted." The teenager muttered. "Thank you... For letting me talk..." He added.

"I'm glad you felt you could." Remus smiled, "Mmm... Is that chicken I smell?" He asked, sniffing at the air and making Harry laugh, "We should go and eat, you're too skinny as it is!" Remus grinned and Harry pouted, "We can talk again, any time you want." Remus promised.

"Thanks... And I'm sorry I've been so... So mean lately."

"It's okay, I forgive you." Remus said, standing up to leave the room, Harry also stood up and Remus grinned as the teenager suddenly hugged him. "You'll be okay Harry..." Remus smiled, "You'll be okay."

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**_Please review._**

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	23. Paaarty

**This wasn't actually the way I was thinking the chapter was going to go, I had a plan and everything but... Shrug... Anyway here it is, I'm not too sure about it but it just took a huge chunk out of my revision time so... Yeah.**

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_**Paaaarty.**_

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Neville grinned as he read the letter he'd just received and Draco frowned, wondering who it was from. Harry walked into the kitchen and also grinned when he saw the letter in Neville's hand, "You get one too?"

"Oh yes."

"Got one what?" Draco asked.

Both other boys winced, "It's an invitation to a party." Neville said, "Oliver Wood's party."

"The coolest party ever." Harry added.

Draco nodded, trying not to feel jealous, "So you going?" He asked.

Harry and Neville exchanged looks, "Have to ask the parents." Harry said.

"Ask the parents what?" Lucius asked as he walked in.

Harry pulled a face, "There's a party tomorrow, can I go?" He asked.

Lucius' eyes narrowed, "Will there be alcohol at this party?"

"Yeah, there will be. It's Oliver Wood's birthday so..." Harry trailed off with a shrug.

Lucius nodded, glad his son had been honest with him, "I'll have to talk to your father."

"Oh come on dad!" Harry whined, "I never get to go to anything cool... The Dursley's never let me..."

"Harry James! What have I told you about using your past to get what you want?" Lucius asked angrily.

Harry sighed, "It's manipulative," He muttered.

"But very Malfoy." Draco cut in, "Well done." Then he flushed as Lucius scowled at him too.

"I will talk to your father." Lucius told Harry again before leaving the room.

Harry pulled a face at the door and picked up a piece of toast, standing up, "Where are you going?" Neville asked curiously.

Harry shrugged, "Gonna go write to Ron, maybe get some work out of the way." He said, leaving the room and heading upstairs, he paused slightly outside the door to the living room and listened in on the conversation between the adults in there, "Maybe we should ask Molly Weasley if Ron's going to this party, I mean after all she has experience of raising teenagers and none of us do." Came James' voice.

"True, could you ask her Rem?" Severus said.

"Sure, but the boys are nearly seventeen, I think that makes them old enough to attend this party and make their own decisions regarding any alcohol and drugs there." Remus said.

That really didn't help, "Drugs?" James gasped.

Harry sighed and pushed the door open, making all six adults look at him, "Look, there will be alcohol, and probably some mild drugs... But there's no way Oliver would stand for me taking anything illegal, and he wont let me get drunk, he treats me like a little brother. And Nev doesn't drink, so you have nothing to worry about." He said looking at James.

"And you?" Lucius asked.

Harry shrugged, "Tell me I can't drink and I wont, tell me to just be careful and not get too drunk and I wont, or you could just trust me..." He said quietly.

_**.~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~.**_

Three days later and Harry and Neville flooed to Oliver Wood's house, they flooed separately, half an hour apart, so that no-one would suspect they had come from the same place. Harry's fathers hadn't mentioned anything about what he was, or wasn't allowed to do and he was pleased that they had decided to trust him, but also mildly worried that he would damage that trust. "Hey trouble." Oliver smiled as Harry stepped through the floo.

Harry smiled and let himself be drawn into a hug, "Not trouble." He grumbled.

Oliver laughed, "How've you been?"

"Not bad, not great... Happy Birthday by the way." Harry said, "I don't have a present... Sorry."

"Forget it, You can get me two at Christmas!" Oliver grinned making Harry laugh. "Let me get you a drink." Oliver said, leading Harry over to the table and getting him a bottle of firewhisky.

Harry laughed, "You over forcing me to drink butterbeer then?"

"Ah, you're seventeen soon." Oliver shrugged, "Just don't get too drunk yeah? It's not good for you..."

Harry rolled his eyes, god Oliver was so annoying sometimes, "I wont get too drunk." He promised.

"Good." Oliver smiled, kissing the top of Harry's head, "Ron's in the garden by the way. I have to go meet some other guests." Harry smiled and watched as Oliver walked away, then he went to look for Ron.

"Harry!" Ron grinned, hugging his friend tightly.

"Hey." Harry smiled, hugging his friend back before hugging Seamus, Dean and Neville too, making sure it looked like they were meeting for the first time since school had finished for the summer. "'Mione not here?" He asked Ron.

"Nah, her parents didn't like the idea." Ron shrugged. "I can't believe we got invites to this party!"

"I got one last year." Harry pointed out with a smirk.

Dean pulled a face, "Yeah but you can't take full advantage of the party 'cause Wood'll be keeping an eye on you." He laughed making Harry pout. Ron smiled, "Come on, they're setting up a game of Quidditch over there." He said, grabbing Harry's arm and dragging him over to where there were several people handing out broomsticks.

_**.~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~.**_

Three hours later and Harry grabbed a bottle of butterbeer off the table, smiling at Seamus and Dean who were snuggled up on the sofa, "Seen Ron?"

"Think he went outside." Seamus murmured, running a hand through Dean's hair.

"Thanks." Harry smiled, heading outside, he was surprised by what he found, Ron was attached at the mouth to Lavender Brown, "What the fuck?" He yelled and the two leapt apart.

"Harry! Shit... I..." Ron mumbled.

"You're cheating on Mione!" Harry yelled, suddenly aware of the tears falling down his cheeks, "How could you?"

Ron moved forwards slightly, stopping when Harry flinched, "I don't know... It just kind of happened. Just today... Harry please..."

"Screw you!" Harry yelled, turning and stalking off, he walked straight into Oliver Wood.

"Hey, hey! What's up?" The older guy asked, slurring slightly.

Harry ran a hand through his hair, "Life sucks and everyone's cruel." He muttered.

"Not everyone." Oliver said, leaning against the wall of his house, Harry snorted, "Come on, there must be some people who haven't let you down." Oliver prompted, taking a swig from his glass.

Harry shrugged, "People I haven't met... People like Bill and Charlie who I don't know all that well... And you." He muttered before sighing, "Look just ignore me, I'm wrecking your party. Go have fun."

"Nah, come on, I have something to show you." Oliver said, grabbing Harry's hand and dragging him through the house and up the stairs and up to the roof. "Look at that." He said, "All that space... all that sky. Life sucks sometimes but out there... There has to be some good yeah?"

"How much have you drank?" Harry asked with a laugh.

Oliver rolled his eyes, "I'm not drunk... Just look Harry, isn't it beautiful?"

Harry frowned, staring out across London, "Perhaps... But just think of how many murders and rapes go in in this place." He shrugged.

Oliver raised an eyebrow before he laughed, shaking his head in amusement, "You are so pessimistic." He said.

"Sorry." Harry muttered and Oliver laughed, pulling him into a hug, Harry smiled and rested his head on Oliver's shoulder. "Sometimes I wish I could look at life the way you do." Harry said, "You're so happy..."

"Sometimes." Oliver said, "And sometimes I'm sad... That's just the human brain. One day you'll be happier... I promise." He stroked Harry's hair before grinning and pulling away, "Come on, let's go back down stairs and have some fun."

Harry gave a small smile, "Okay." He murmured, following Oliver down from the roof. Ron was pacing at the bottom of the stairs, his eyes red, and Harry sighed, Oliver frowned slightly and looked at Harry who gave him a slight nod, Oliver nodded back and patted Harry's shoulder before walking away, "Harry... I screwed up." Ron muttered, "Merlin I screwed up. And I'm going to lose Hermione because of it, I know I am... I don't expect you to forgive me, or to understand but -"

"You're right, I don't understand. I'll never understand how you could just hurt her like that without a second thought. But I wont tell her if you don't want me to." Harry mumbled, interupting Ron.

"No, I don't want you to tell her. I have to do that." Ron said quietly, a tear fell down his cheek, "Things are just so crap right now Harry..." He added in a whisper. "And I know that's no excuse for what I did but... Well I was, probably still am, drunk. Which still isn't a good excuse..."

Harry gave a small shrug, "No, It's not an excuse but... What exactly is up Ron?"

"Just home... Need a break." The red-head mumbled.

Harry gave a nod, "You're an idiot." He said with a small grin, "You should have just said, I'll ask if you can stay with us for a bit... Tell your mum I need the company."

"Really?" Ron asked, surprise evident in his eyes, "Thank you."

"It's okay... And I'm sorry I yelled."

"I deserved it." Ron shrugged, Harry said nothing, after all, Ron was right. "Sorry." Ron added, Harry simply nodded, although Ron's actions hadn't hurt Harry directly, as they would Hermione, they had reminded him that everyone would hurt you eventually, no matter how much you loved them or they loved you. "What are you doing tonight?" Harry asked Ron, wanting to change the subject.

"Told my parents I was staying at Seamus' but I haven't squared it with him yet." Ron mumbled.

Harry rolled his eyes, "That was clever, you can stay at mine." He sighed, knowing his parents, and the others, wouldn't mind.

"Thanks." Ron mumbled, then he gave a small laugh, "Usually it's me having to look out for you."

"Yeah well." Harry shrugged, "Always nice to get a break from being the stupid one." He said making Ron laugh some more. "You really gonna tell 'Mione?" Harry asked quietly.

"Yeah... Yeah I am. I need to, she deserves the truth. Hopefully she'll forgive me." Ron shrugged.

Harry nodded, noticing how uncomfortable Ron was, "Come on, let's go drink some more." He laughed, leading his friend over to the table.

**_.~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~._**

Remus and Severus were still awake when Harry flooed home at three in the morning, "Hey, Ron's plans fell through, could he stay the night?" Harry asked.

"Sure." Severus nodded.

"Thanks." Harry smiled, "I'll just go fetch him." He flooed away again before returning a few moments later with Ron who looked a little worse for wear. "Nev said he'd wait ten minutes and then floo home." Harry told the adults who nodded.

Remus raised an eyebrow when he saw Ron jerk slightly, "You guys need a drink before you head to bed?" He offered.

"We'll get some water." Harry nodded, leading Ron through to the kitchen.

"Thanks for letting me stay." The red head slurred and Remus and Severus exchanged looks, rushing into the kitchen a few moments later when they heard the sound of someone vomiting. Ron was leaning over the sink, throwing up the contents of his stomach, Harry coped really well with the state his friend was in, he held Ron's hair back and got him a glass of water, spelling away the vomit. "Could you help me get him up to the spare room?" Harry asked Severus who nodded and helped Ron away from the sink, getting the teenager to swallow an anti-nausea potion before helping him up the stairs. Remus turned to Harry and raised an eyebrow, "He's having a tough time at home." Harry mumbled as an explanation and Remus gave a half nod, not believing it was a decent excuse but too tired to care much, he'd question it further in the morning. Remus and Harry headed into the living room when they heard the floo go off and Remus sighed when he saw that Neville was also drunk, not as bad as Ron but definitely drunk. "I'm gonna bed." The teenager slurred, giggling slightly as he headed up the stairs.

"I can't tell if you're actually sober or just seem it ocmpared to those two." Remus told Harry.

"I had three bottles of firewhisky, balanced out by about six bottles of butterbeer and a pint of water. I'm sober." Harry said, rolling his eyes, "But tired... Speaking of which you didn't have to wait up."

"We weren't, couldn't sleep." Severus explained, walking back into the room, "I put Ronald in the room opposite yours. You should get some rest too. Goodnight."

"Night dad, Night Remus." Harry said, leaving the room and heading upstairs, he peeked in on Ron and smiled when he saw his friend played out on the bed, snoring softly, "Night Ron." Harry murmured gently before going into his own room and getting ready for bed.

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_**Please Review.**_

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	24. Fancy whore

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**A Fancy Whore.**

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Draco raised an eyebrow when he walked into the kitchen the next morning to find Neville sat next to Ron Weasley, both looking incredibly hungover. "Morning." Draco said as he poured himself some coffee, he got twin grunts in reply.

Then Harry came bounding in, laughing when he saw his friends, they both scowled at him and he laughed again, sitting down next to Ron and helping himself to some toast. "Remus is flooing your mum to see if you can stay." He told Ron, "And your dad wants a word." He added, looking at Neville who groaned.

"Is he well pissed?"

"Huh?" Harry frowned.

"Is he pissed off?"

"I dunno, maybe you should go and check." Harry said, rolling his eyes. Neville poked his tongue out at Harry before leaving the room, brushing his fingers along the back of Draco's neck as he went. Draco noticed Weasley watching him strangely and scowled at him almost automatically, Weasley curled his lip in disgust and turned to Harry, "My mum wanted me to ask if you'd like to come over to ours on your birthday, Remus too." He said.

"Well I guess it could be fun. Then we could say we wanted to spend the evening here, you know to talk about my parents and shizz. Your mum would buy that right?"

"For sure, she'll probably cry when you tell her." Ron smirked.

Harry rolled his eyes before smiling, "Right, so I'll spend the morning with you guys and then come back here and spend the evening with the family plus the added extras."

"Added extras?" Draco frowned.

"Yeah, you, Nev, James, Lily... Added extras."

"What about my fathers?"

Harry shrugged, "They've kinda been considered family since third year."

Ron gave a snort and Harry flushed, Draco frowned, "I didn't think you'd fancied my dad that long..." He said with a raised eyebrow, cottoning on. Ron snorted again and Harry ducked his head, Draco's eyes widened, "Oh my god! You fancied the other one too! Dude... they're my father's!"

"Harry fancies everyone." Ron smirked, "He's like a... a fancy whore."

Harry burst out laughing, "A what?"

"A fancy whore." Ron said with a small grin before giving a groan and pushing his toast away, "Feel sick."

"Bathroom." Was all Harry said and Ron stood up and stumbled from the room.

Draco raised an eyebrow, "How much did he drink?" He asked, Harry simply shrugged in reply, his cheeks still flushed.

_**.~*~*~*~*~*~*~.**_

Draco frowned as he looked at his fathers, Remus' head was resting on Sirius' shoulder and Sirius was stroking the man's hair whilst he slept. He looked up and smiled when he saw Draco watching, "Hey, you okay?"

"Yeah... I... Is he okay?" Draco asked, nodding towards Remus.

"Hmm? Oh yeah, he's fine." Sirius smiled but it didn't quite reach his eyes.

Draco pursed his lips, "I'm not an infant. I know what's going on!"

"What?" Sirius choked out and Draco frowned.

"The werewolf thing..."

"Oh, that. Right, yeah." Sirius said with a small sigh of relief that Draco didn't quite miss, what was the man hiding? "Look, It's best to stay positive. Rem's been going through this for so long... They'll find a way to help him, they have to." Sirius muttered, looking so sad Draco could only nod in agreement, not wanting to push the subject too far.

"So what did you think I was talking about?" He asked with a raised eyebrow and a smirk.

"That is none of your business." Sirius retorted before giving a small smile, "How's Neville?" He asked.

Draco gave a half shrug, "Vanished from the kitchen this morning to go and talk to James, haven't seen him since."

"Ah, James wasn't happy about Neville drinking that much so he's probably in trouble." Sirius explained, "Are you okay though? It must have been tough not going to the party."

Draco shrugged, "Wouldn't have known anyone anyway." He muttered. Sirius rolled his eyes, moving away from Remus and going to sit by Draco, "You don't have to pretend with me." He said gently.

Draco scowled slightly, "Alright so it would have been nice to go but... Everyone there would hate me anyway... I'm just sick of all the lying... All the secrets."

"Like having to hide that you're with Neville?" Sirius asked.

Draco bit at his lip slightly before shaking his head, "I really suck at the whole commitment part of relationships. It freaks me out. If everyone knew about me and Nev I would panic."

Sirius gave a small smile, "I was like that when I was your age. Didn't tell James, Luc and Sev about Rem and I for ages... Turns out they already knew anyway though!"

"When did you guys get together?" Draco asked, wanting to know more abut his fathers.

"Third year, start of."

"Blimey..." Draco muttered.

Sirius nodded, "Yeah, it was really early, too early. We split up between fourth year and seventh. Well not completely split up, we were on and off for ages, it was mainly just for se -"

"Eww! Stop!" Draco laughed, covering his ears and making Sirius chuckle. "I worry that if me and Nev row or break up whatever then it'll mess up your friendship with James and Lily." Draco admitted.

Sirius frowned, "Look, you don't need to worry about stuff like that... If it happens then we'll sort it. Why are you talking about you guys rowing now anyway? You having problems already?"

Draco shook his head, "No I just... We only just got together... And I'm young. As lovely as you and dad getting together young and staying together is... I'm not sure if we will." He said, "And... I... I don't do commitment, I freak out. I messed up my last relationship so badly... If I did that again and you lost your friends because of it... I'd never forgive myself."

Sirius put his hand on his son's shoulder, "Drake... Lil, Jay and I have been friends for a very long time, there's not much that could stop that."

Draco pulled a face... "I cheated on my last boyfriend... I realised I was in love with him and I..."

"Got scared?" Sirius supplied, "That's natural, especially at your age when you're only just feeling love in that way for the first time. Look, you need to stop worrying and start relaxing."

"Yeah but -"

"Drake! Just... chill out, I know it's difficult what with everything that's going on but there's no point working yourself into a state over nothing." Sirius said gently, hugging his son.

Draco frowned, "Okay." He nodded finally.

"Sorry... I'm not too good at this parenting thing." Sirius muttered, "If you really want to talk you can... Or speak to Rem, Rem's good at talking." He gave an almost frustrated growl and Draco smiled.

"It's fine." He reassured the man, "I kinda suck at talking too."

They both looked at Remus as the man gave a groan and opened his eyes, rubbing them. "You okay?" Sirius asked gently, going back to sit next to him.

"Sleepy." Remus mumbled, turning and rubbing his nose against Sirius' shoulder.

"Oi!" Sirius laughed, "I don't want to get covered in your snot!"

Remus pouted, "Not snot. It's itchy." He said, smiling as Sirius kissed his forehead.

"Poor baby." Sirius whispered, rubbing Remus' nose for him and making him giggle.

Draco pulled a face, "That is rather gross." He said making both men laugh and give him apologetic looks.

_**.~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~.**_

Draco knocked on Neville's door, "One minute." Neville yelled and then there was a thump and a muffled swear word before the door was opened. Draco laughed, Neville's trousers were around his knees and he was hopping around, clutching his foot. "What did you do?"

"Whacked me foot pulling my trousers on." Neville grunted, falling down onto his bed, still holding his foot.

"Stay still." Draco ordered and pulled out his wand, casting a healing charm on Neville's foot.

Neville smiled, "Thanks." He said, leaning up and kissing Draco gently, Draco kissed back and before they knew it they were stripped to their boxers, gasping against each other as they continued to kiss. "Nev, Can I borrow your..." Harry trailed off as he pushed open the door, "Shit! Sorry." He mumbled, his cheeks turning red as he saw the position they were in.

"It's fine." Neville said, moving away from Draco and quickly yanking his tee-shirt on, "What did you want to borrow?"

"Never mind." Harry croaked and rushed from the room.

Draco raised an eyebrow, "Okaaay..." He drawled, a little confused, Neville could only shrug. Draco looked at the clock, "We should probably get ready for dinner anyway." He said,

Neville nodded "Shower?" He asked and Draco grinned, climbing off the bed and wrapping his arms around Neville, leading him to the en-suite. By the time they'd finished in the shower it was five to six and they had to rush to get dressed and downstairs. Harry was sat at the table when they walked into the dining room and his cheeks flushed red when he spotted them, Neville sat next to him, "Sorry abut earlier." He murmured.

"No, no... I should have knocked." Harry replied, grabbing his glass of water and drinking from it.

"Damn right." Draco smirked, earning himself a flustered look from Harry and a scowl from Neville. They all looked up as the door opened and Severus walked in with Remus, they were talking quietly about something but stopped when the saw the boys which made Draco very suspicious. Something strange was going on with those two, Sirius and Lucius too. Lily and James walked in then, carrying the food and Draco was pulled out of his thoughts by the smell of spaghetti. Lucius and Sirius carried the remaining plates in and everyone began to eat, complimenting Lily on her cooking. Draco smiled as he looked around the table, feeling like part of a family, he grinned even more when Neville stroked his leg under the table, things could only get better from here... Right?

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	25. closer to the edge

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_**Closer to the edge...**_

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Harry lay on his back, staring up at the stars, his mind trying to catch up with everything that had been happening over the past few months. He felt, rather than heard, someone lie next to hm but didn't bother to look. "See up there, that star's Regulus. It's the one my brother was named after." Came Sirius' voice, there was an odd sadness in his tone that Harry had never heard before and he turned to look at his godfather, "I'm sorry, I forgot about your brother. I should have looked in Dumbledore's mind... Perhaps he's still alive."

"Sometimes It's easier not to hope." Sirius replied quietly.

"Well that's just stupid." Harry scowled, "If you don't hope then you'll never look and if you don't look then you'll never know."

Sirius had to admit the teenager had a point "Suppose." He grumbled, there was a silence for a while but it wasn't awkward like it usually had been lately. "Wouldn't know where to start." Sirius admitted finally.

"I'll help, it wont be easy but you have a right to know the truth." Harry said, slipping his hand on top of his godfather's, Sirius smiled into the darkness and wound their fingers together for a second before moving his hand away. "Back to Hogwarts in a month or so, you nervous?" He asked.

"I'm worried that someone will notice I'm different but... Well Dad and Remus will be there which will make it easier." Harry shrugged, "It's only one more year, then maybe I'll just bail on the war, go travelling or something."

"That'll drive old Dumbles insane." Sirius laughed.

"Good." Harry muttered and Sirius snorted, "So what's new with you?" Harry asked his godfather, "All we ever talk about is me. How... How are you and Remus? I was worried that... That I'd fucked things up for you."

Sirius smiled into the darkness, "Rem and I are fine, we've been going through a few complicated things lately, more than you know about, but we are fine, truly."

"Good, because I would hate to have hurt you, either of you." Harry whispered, "I... I realised I wasn't in love with you, more in love with the idea of you. Someone to protect me... It's stupid."

"No it's not." Sirius said, taking Harry's hand again and squeezing it gently.

"And we're talking about me again!" Harry said, laughing humorlessly.

Sirius laughed, "Well let's face it, you have led an interesting life."

"That's one way of putting it!" Harry snorted.

They both looked up as the back door opened and Remus walked out, looking at them with a slightly uneasy look in his eyes, "Hello beautiful." Sirius smiled, standing up and hugging the man, pecking him on the lips quickly.

"What are you doing out here in the cold?" Remus asked.

"It's not cold." Harry replied quietly and Remus frowned, firstly because it was absolutely freezing and secondly because of how harsh Harry sounded, hadn't they got over the hatred and jealousy issues? "Just chatting." Sirius said, seemingly oblivious.

"Oh?" Remus inquired lightly.

"Hmm..." Was the only reply he got off Sirius as the man helped Harry stand up, Remus pushed away the feelings of jealousy that threatened to bubble over, Sirius had already said that he had no feelings for Harry and Harry said he was over his feelings for Sirius. So Remus was obviously being stupid right? "I'm gonna make some tea and then head to bed, you guys want any?" Harry asked.

"No thanks," Remus said as Sirius said,

"Ooh please." Harry nodded and vanished inside the house. Sirius turned to Remus, "Are you okay? You seem a little off." He said before wriggling slightly, "Umm... But can we discuss it in a minute? I really gotta pee."

Remus chuckled and nodded, watching as Sirius went inside, he followed his lover through the backdoor and found Harry making mugs of tea, "You okay?" Remus asked, Harry looked at him blankly and Remus sighed, "Did I do something to upset you?" He asked quietly.

"You don't trust me." Harry replied as he fetched the milk from the fridge and refused to meet Remus' gaze.

"What?" Remus breathed, utterly confused.

"When you came into the garden you were pissed to find me there with Sirius."

Remus winced, "I'm sorry." He said, "It's not just you...I get possessive sometimes, can't stand Siri being near anyone else." _Apart from Severus and Luc_, he thought in his head.

Harry turned, frowning slightly, "Is that a werewolf thing?" He asked.

Remus shrugged, "Might be,or it's just me... I was bitten so young it's difficult to tell what wolf characteristics were passed on." He trailed off and sighed, "Anyway don't make excuses for me. I'm sorry for seeming like I don't trust you."

Harry managed a small smile, "That's fine, I'm sorry I got grumpy so quickly."

They both turned as they heard a chuckle from the doorway, "Merlin! What a pair you make." Lucius said as he walked into the room.

Harry flushed, "Come to send me to bed?" He grumbled.

Lucius raised an eyebrow, "Actually your father and I have decided that as you are nearly seventeen you are old enough to decide your own bedtime. However I would rather you didn't use that tone with me." He said.

Harry flushed, "Sorry." He mumbled. "I was off anyway." He added as he picked up one of the mugs and quickly left the room. Remus chuckled and looked at Lucius, "You want a cuppa?"

"Hmm go on then." Lucius smiled, "So... What are you not trusting Harry over?" He asked nosily, helping himself to a biscuit from the cupboard.

"Nothing important." Remus shrugged, turning around and flicking the kettle on again, he smiled as Sirius walked in, "Here's your tea, Harry left it for you."

"Oh, ta." Sirius grinned, kissing Remus on the cheek, the man looked a lot happier now so Sirius decided to talk to him later about what had been bothering him, rather than pursue it now. "Sev asleep?" He asked Lucius.

"Yeah, he's shattered bless him." Lucius said, "I think everyone else is out for the count as well."

Remus pouted, "Silly people." He mumbled, "I'm not even tired at all. And now I have no-one to chat to."

"You got us." Sirius chuckled, "And we is sexy!" He added with a dirty smirk making Remus and Lucius laugh.

"We might bore you to death but at least we look good doing it." Lucius agreed,

Remus rolled his eyes as he got a glass from the shelf and poured himself some pumpkin juice, "Living room?" He asked the other two who both nodded and followed him through. They collapsed onto the biggest sofa, Remus curled up against Sirius and Lucius lounging on the other side of him. Sirius casually slid his hand into Lucius', causing the man to look at it in surprise before glancing at Remus who gave him a small smile before leaning his head on Sirius' lap and closing his eyes. "Thought you weren't tired." Sirius chuckled.

"Oh shu'p." Was the mumbled reply and Sirius laughed.

"When's Ronald going home?" Lucius asked, Remus was the ony one in contact with Molly Weasley and therefore the one who would know after all.

Remus opened one eye, "Well Molly wants him back soon, before school starts again, understandably. But every time I try to mention it to Ron he's pretty unresponsive."

"Well Harry did say he was having trouble at home." Sirius pointed out.

"Yeah... I'll try talking to him again tomorrow." Remus mumbled as he closed his eyes again. Sirius gave a small nod before glancing at Lucius who was sat there stiffly, he gave the smallest of smiles and squeezed the blonde's hand gently. Lucius jumped and stared at him with wide eyes, "You okay?" Sirius whispered.

"Fine." Lucius blurted out, grabbing his mug of tea and gulping it quickly, trying to ignore the tingles spreading through his left hand, the one Sirius was holding. He knew he should pull away but he couldn't quite bring himself to, especially when Sirius started to stroke his wrist. "Siri..." Lucius breathed, putting his mug of tea down. Sirius smiled at him and moved closer, "Yes?" he whispered in lucius' ear and Lucius bit at his lip, glancing down at Remus who's breathing had evened out, the man gave a small snore in his sleep and Lucius' breathe caught in his throat. "Siri..." he said again and Sirius looked at him properly, and then they were kissing and it was amazing and fantastic and everything Lucius had ever dreamed of and yet so, so wrong. He jerked back suddenly. "No, No I can't!" He gasped out before fleeing the room. Sirius frowned and shifted Remus so that the man was lying on the sofa, then he followed Lucius. The man was stood in the study, staring out of the window.

"You left your tea." Sirius murmured, holding out the mug.

"Thanks." Lucius muttered, avoiding the man's eyes as he took it.

"I'm sorry." Sirius said quietly, "I shouldn't have pushed you."

Luc sighed and put the mug down, turning to take Sirius' hands in his own, "I want to, Merlin knows I want to... But Sev and I agreed. It's just too complicated."

Sirius nodded, "Yeah." He sighed.

Tears sprang to Lucius' eyes, "It's so unfair." He mumbled, "I wish it was simpler, that no-one would get hurt." He said, a tear falling down his cheek as he let go of Sirius' hands.

"Yeah well, life doesn't work like that." Sirius said bitterly, turning away. Lucius put his hand on the man's shoulder and couldn't help the sobs that began when it was shrugged off, "Oh Luc, please don't cry." Sirius murmured, hugging him tightly as Lucius continued to sob against him, "Luc baby please..." Sirius said, wiping the man's tears away, "Don't cry, it's not worth it."

"Guess we'll never know." Lucius muttered, squeezing his eyes shut for a second to try and banish his tears. Sirius gave a small nod, "I should get back to Remmy." He said after a moment or two of silence, "Get him to bed."

"Sure." Lucius nodded.

Sirius brushed his lips against the other man's, "Maybe one day, hey?" He whispered before leaving, abandoning to Lucius to his thoughts. In the study's second doorway someone slid to the floor silently, their hand covering their mouth as they struggled to take in what they had witnessed...

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**_If you have time then please leave a review and let me know what you think :)_**

**_Also who do you think should have witnessed Sirius and Lucius' moment? And why them?  
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	26. dinner

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**Dinner.**

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"Drake?" Neville frowned as he felt the blonde get back into bed, "Where you been?"

"Just to the loo." Draco muttered, managing a half smile as Neville dragged one of Draco's arms around his stomach. "Go back to sleep." He added quietly, brushing a kiss to Neville's forehead.

"Night." Neville murmured, his breathing evening out almost instantly. Draco bit at his lip as he thought over everything that he had just seen between Sirius and Lucius, what had Sirius meant at the end? 'Maybe one day'… Draco sat up suddenly, was Sirius just waiting for Remus to die so that he could make a move on Lucius? "Drake?" Neville frowned, "W'a's up?"

"Just a headache." Draco lied, "I'll go get a glass of water." He added, standing up.

Neville nodded sleepily, "Wan' me to come with you?" He offered.

"No, it's fine." Draco said, grabbing a jumper off the floor and pulling it on before leaving the room. He scowled to himself when he heard Sirius coaxing Remus up the stairs and he quickly hid himself in the bathroom, scrunching his hands into fists as he heard Sirius chuckle quietly. Once the two men had passed, Draco headed down the stairs and into the living room, grabbing the floo powder off the top of the fireplace and throwing it into the flames before shoving his head in and calling out an address. It took ten minutes for someone to answer.

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Neville wandered into the kitchen, picking up a piece of toast and eating it slowly, he frowned as he looked around the room, "Anyone seen Drake?"

"Maybe he's still asleep." Harry shrugged as he walked past, heading upstairs to take a shower.

"No, he's not." Neville muttered, sitting down. "He said he had a headache last night though… He went to get a drink and I fell asleep… What if he's sick?"

"You spent the night in his room?" Lily asked with a raised eyebrow.

"Just sleeping." Neville assured her, his face pink.

Lucius frowned slightly, "Well did he come back after going to get a drink?" He asked.

"I dunno… Like I said, I went back to sleep." Neville said, looking guilty.

Severus walked into the kitchen then, holding a scroll, "Draco's gone to stay with Narcissa for a while." He said quietly, "Apparently he flooed her last night… He was quite upset about something but she's just put him to bed and will talk to him today." Lucius stood up, "No Luc, let Cissy deal with it yeah?" Severus murmured, giving Sirius a stern look when he made to move as well. "That's why she wrote to me rather than any of you, she doesn't want you racing over there and making it worse."

"He didn't mention it…" Neville said quietly.

"Look, chances are everything just caught up with him, especially if he was up late last night and had a lot of time to think things through. Give him a day or two and he'll be back." Severus smiled, patting Neville's shoulder.

"Yeah." Neville grunted, "I'm going back to bed." He added before leaving the room, Lily and James exchanged glances before Lily raised an eyebrow, James gave a nod and went after his son.

Remus rested his elbows on the table, "I'd kind of started to assume that if Draco had a problem he'd be able to turn to me…" He muttered and Sirius sat next to him, taking his hands.

That was when the owl arrived, swooping down and landing in front of Lucius who detached the scroll from it's leg. "Narcissa wants to see me, now." He murmured, reading the letter.

"Why you?" Sirius asked moodily.

"I'd better go and see, she says to go alone though so…" Lucius gave an apologetic shrug before flooing away to Malfoy Manor.

The second Lucius stepped through the floo into the manor Narcissa grabbed him and kissed him hard, "Oh darling, I'm glad you're back!" She said, Lucius frowned, "You'll never guess who dropped by, Bella and Rodolphus!" Narcissa added quickly, explaining why she'd called him.

Lucius curled his lip slightly before put on a big smile, "Fantastic." He said, striding into the drawing room to greet his guests.

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"Surely Luc should be back by now?" Sirius grumbled, it was four o'clock by then and he, Remus, Lily and Severus were sat in the living room. Harry, Ron and James were playing some muggle game called monopoly in the kitchen with Neville in an attempt to cheer him up. "We don't even know what she wanted." Severus pointed out. They all jumped as the floo went off, Severus went over and cast a charm to see who was calling, "It's Malfoy Manor." He murmured before accepting the call and Lucius' face appeared in the fire.

"Severus. Narcissa and I were wondering if you would like to join us for dinner, Bellatrix and Rodolphus are also here, their only staying for one night you see and would lie to see you."

"Sure I'll come around." Severus said, aware that Bellatrix and Rodolphus were listening to Lucius' side of the conversation, "How's Draco?"

"Yes Draco's here too, although to be honest he's being a bit sulky today." Lucius said, pulling a face into the fire. "Perhaps you could have a word later. Anyway Narcissa will be serving dinner at six. Shall we see you then?" Severus gave a small nod, "I love you." He whispered gently.

"Yes you too, see you later." Lucius said, as if Severus had simply bid him good day, and then he was gone. Severus sighed and sat back down, running a hand through his hair, an evening with Rodolphus and Bellatrix, how fun… And he'd have to watch Lucius and Narcissa together… "I'll see if I can get Draco to talk to me later. It won't seem unusual for me to go off and chat with him so Bella and Rodolphus won't notice." He told Sirius and Remus quietly.

"Thanks." Remus smiled gently.

Harry walked in and threw himself down on the sofa, pouting, "I'm bankrupt." He explained when the others frowned at him.

"In the game right?" James asked.

"Yes, in the game." Harry rolled his eyes and then paused, "Although, I was wondering, where do I stand financially?"

James scratched at his head, "The money in the Potter account is yours, it was never Lily's and mine to begin with, we kept all our money when we got shifted to New York so…"

Severus nodded, "Luc and I have been talking though, you can have a thirty galleon a month allowance from us. If 'you need any big money then ask. We'd rather you saved the 'potter' money until you graduated and were going to spend it on something like a house or, well something worthwhile."

"Cool." Harry nodded, he'd barely spent any of the money anyway.

Severs turned to Sirius and Remus, "Lucius did say he wanted to discuss Draco's money with you at some point. You'll have to remind him or he'll just keep forgetting."

"Sure."

"We need to sort Nev out." Lily muttered, "Although maybe I'll just leave it for now, since his 'gran' thinks he's still her grandson."

Harry frowned, "I forgot about that, where does she think he is anyway?"

"Herbology exchange project." Lily smiled, "I have a friend at Salem's academy." She added as an explanation, "She can provide some form of proof he was there if needed."

Severus rose, "I should go and get ready." He said, "Harry, Lucius and I are both out this evening, I'm not sure when I'll return. Try to get yourself to bed at a decent time yes?"

"Sure." Harry nodded, glad his fathers trusted him to take care of himself and hadn't simply told him to do as Lily or Remus or one of the others told him to.

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"Severus!" Narcissa smiled, hugging the man and kissing his cheek, "We're in the drawing room." She added, pulling him through. Severus greeted everyone and accepted the glass of brandy Lucius handed him, smiling as their hands touched.

"So Severus… How have you been?" Bellatrix asked.

"Not bad at all thank you Bella, it's nice to get a break from all those children." Severus replied, "And how about you, you've been keeping busy?"

"Of course, Dolphi and I have been doing a lot for our cause." Bellatrix said.

A house elf entered the room, "Dinner is served Ma'am." She said, looking at Narcissa who nodded.

"Let's eat." She said, motioning to the dining room, "Sev, would you go and fetch Draco for me? He's in his room."

"Of course." Severus smiled, heading upstairs quickly and rapping on Draco's door.

"What?" Draco snapped and Severus rolled his eyes, pushing open the door and walking in, "Oh, it's you."

"Indeed." Severus drawled, "So… You going to tell me what's going on?"

Draco scowled, "I don't know what you're talking about." He snapped.

Severus gritted his teeth, "Fine, if that's the way you want to play it." He said, aware they had to be downstairs in a moment, "But I suggest you lose the attitude, if you carry on acting like this in front of Bellatrix and Rodolphus then Lucius will be forced to punish you." He said, Draco grunted in reply and stalked past Severus who groaned. They all sat down at the dinner table and ate dinner quietly, occasionally making conversation, then the house elves bought out desert. "Back to school soon." Bellatrix said, for once smiling at her nephew, Draco grunted.

"Draco." Lucius hissed, "I'm so sorry Bella, I have no idea what's up with him today."

"You should beat him Lucius, it's the only way he'll learn." Rodolphus said lazily, drinking some more elven wine.

"Fuck you." Draco snapped and everyone froze.

Lucius rose slowly, "Excuse us." He murmured, grabbing Draco's wrist tightly and dragging the boy from his chair, intending to take him to the study to ask what on earth was going on. Rodolphus had other ideas, "Actually Luc, I'd like to come with you, make sure the boy is properly punished for his rudeness."

Lucius swallowed hard, "Of course." He said, ignoring the voice in his head telling him to get Draco out of there.

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_**Please review.**_

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	27. Maybe?

_**Previously:** Lucius rose slowly, "Excuse us." He murmured, grabbing Draco's wrist tightly and dragging the boy from his chair, intending to take him to the study to ask what on earth was going on. Rodolphus had other ideas, "Actually Luc, I'd like to come with you, make sure the boy is properly punished for his rudeness."_

_Lucius swallowed hard, "Of course." He said, ignoring the voice in his head telling him to get Draco out of there._

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_**Maybe?**_

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Lucius slammed the study door and turned to Draco who was scowling at his feet. "What on earth is going on with you today Draco?" He growled, Rodolphus raised an eyebrow, obviously expecting Lucius to lash out first before asking question. "Well?" Lucius snapped.

"I know okay!" Draco yelled, "I saw you last night in the study! I know you're having an affair!" Lucius froze and Rodolphus' eyebrows rose even higher. Then Lucius pursed his lips, "Draco go to your room, I'll be there in a moment." He said tightly, Draco wrinkled his nose and sent the man a disgusted look before leaving the room, suddenly aware of what he could have revealed to Rodolphus.

"Lucius?" Rodolphus asked once Draco had gone.

Lucius sighed, "Narcissa and I have been having issues." He murmured, making it up as he went along, "I am not, however, having an affair, I simply met a pretty little brunette and couldn't help myself. Surely you understand?"

"Of course." Rodolphus smirked, "We've all been there." He added and Lucius stored the information away for future use.

"It explains Draco's behavior if he saw us though, I need to go and talk to him… I can't punish him for this Rodolphus… Not if it'll push him into telling Cissy… She's not the sort of woman who would simply forgive such an infidelity."

"Runs in the family." Rodolphus muttered and Lucius chuckled lightly. "Go talk to Draco, and tell the boy he is forgiven for the way he spoke to me, but if it happens again I will expect him to be punished, whatever the circumstances."

"Obviously." Lucius drawled, Rodolphus gave a nod and patted Lucius shoulder before leaving. Lucius sighed and sat down on one of the chairs, wondering what on earth he was going to say to Draco.

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Remus gave a small smile as Ron wriggled around in his seat, "We're not trying to push you out, we're just worried about you. Your mum was wondering when you were going to go home." Remus said quietly. Ron scowled at the floor but said nothing, "Ron… I don't know exactly what's going on but you can talk to me."

"I… I just… Things are so crap at home." Ron mumbled, "They're all going on like Dumbledore's great and I just want to scream at them for believing it! And all mum and dad are doing is arguing, when Dad's even at home, which he isn't half the time! He's usually out getting pissed… It's like everything has just gone to pot." Ron added, swiping at his eyes. Remus frowned slightly, he'd heard that Molly and Arthur were having marital issues but he hadn't realised Arthur was turning to alcohol. "I know I probably worried them by going like I did, I doubt they believe that I'm here for Harry's sake but… I needed space!"

"That's understandable." Remus soothed.

"Yeah but I abandoned Ginny, I should go home. I'll go tomorrow…"

Remus nodded, "You're always welcome here." He assured the boy, "You want me to floo your parents?"

"No… I'll do it." Ron sad, standing up and grabbing the floo powder.

Remus stood up, "I'll give you some peace." He murmured, "And remember I'm always here if you need to talk."

"Thanks Prof- Remus." Ron said, giving an awkward grin. Remus smiled and left the room, heading into the living room where the others were. "Hey." He murmured, sitting down next to Sirius and wrapping his arms around the man.

"Ron okay?" Remus asked quietly.

"He's flooing his parents and is going to head back tomorrow." Remus replied, equally as quietly and glancing worriedly at Harry, knowing he wouldn't be happy to have his friend leave.

Sirius nodded and stroked Remus' arm, "Sev should be back soon… Maybe he'll have figured out what's bothering Drake…"

"Maybe." Remus agreed hopefully.

**_.~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~._**

Lucius pushed open the door to Draco's room, sighing as he spotted the boy sat on the bed, his arms wrapped around his knees as his shoulder's shook with sobs. "Oh Drakey." Lucius whispered, closing the bedroom door behind himself and moving closer to the boy.

"Don't touch me!" Draco hissed, his voice cold.

"Draco I… I want to, I need to explain." Lucius pleaded, "It's not what you think."

"Never is is it?" Draco muttered bitterly. "I know what you're doing! I know you and Sirius are just waiting for my dad to die before you get together!"

"What?" Lucius gasped, too surprised by what Draco had said to notice that he had referred to Remus as his dad, "No! No that is not what is happening!"

Draco looked up at him angrily, "No?" He asked mockingly.

"No! I have feelings for Sirius, yes, but I also have feelings for Remus. Severus has feelings for both of them too and they both like us. It's a bloody complicated situation that we are trying our damned hardest to figure out without anyone getting hurt! Don't you dare presume to understand what is going on! And don't you dare, ever, think that we are just waiting for Remus to… To…" Lucius trailed off, letting out a grunt and tugging at his hair.

Draco stared at the man, "But… What?" He whispered finally.

"Oh Merlin Drake… I shouldn't have told you all of that. All of us agreed that we would try to… Figure it all out, before we were going to tell you." Lucius whispered.

Draco bit at his lip, "So… You and Sirius aren't having an affair?"

"No. Sev and I agreed that nothing would happen with us and Siri and Remus though. But Sirius and I ended up kissing…" Lucius trailed off and gave a shrug, "Anyway everything's sorted, everything's fine. You were never meant to know."

Draco gave a small nod, "I… I still don't quite get it." He admitted.

"Join the club!" Lucius chuckled humorlessly, "Look, we have get back downstairs... We can talk later, I promise. And you can talk to Sev and Sirius and Remus…" He promised.

"Okay." Draco said quietly, "And you know… I'm sorry I was such an ass."

Lucius smiled, "I understand." He said, ruffling Draco's hair, "You have to apologize to Rodolphus too." He added.

"Oh shit! What did you tell him?" Draco whispered.

"That you must have seen me with some brunette and please could he not tell Cissy… He was disturbingly understanding." Lucius muttered, pulling a face and making Draco laugh gently. They headed back downstairs, the others had finished desert by now and were in the drawing room when they entered, "I'm sorry for my rudeness Uncle." Draco murmured to Rodolphus who smiled.

"Quite alright boy, I explained to your mother about your argument with young Pansy Parkinson." Rodolphus said, giving Draco a small wink.

Draco clenched his teeth, "Right." He mumbled.

"Well I hope you sort it all out soon, you and she are to be married are you not?" Bellatrix chipped in.

"They're not even graduated yet!" Narcissa choked, "Give them a chance!"

"You were engaged at their age." Bellatrix pointed out.

Narcissa pulled a face, "Yes but… But Draco's just a baby!" She said and everyone laughed as Draco groaned and buried his face in his hands.

_**.~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~.**_

Remus and Sirius looked up with small smiles as Severus walked in, "Hey! How was it? Did you speak to Drake?" Remus asked quickly.

"It was as okay as dinner with Rodolphus and Bella ever can be. I tried to talk to Draco but he wasn't interested. He told Rodolphus to fuck off actually and nearly earned himself a beating for it but somehow he and Lucius managed to persuade Rodolphus that Draco had simply had a row with Pansy." Severus gave a small shrug, "Luc and Draco spent some time alone though and Draco seemed a lot happier afterwards. Luc should be back tomorrow morning so you can ask him then." He added.

"So Rodolphus didn't hurt him?" Sirius asked, looking terrified.

"I promise." Severus replied, looking up as Harry walked in and threw himself down onto the floor in front of the fireplace.

James frowned, "You okay?" He murmured.

"Ron's going home tomorrow." Harry grumbled, "But I guess you already knew that." He added bitterly.

"I didn't." James replied honestly and Harry frowned before giving a small shrug and an apologetic smile, James rolled his eyes and smiled back, tussling Harry's hair and making the teenager laugh and duck away.

"How's Darling Bellatrix?" Harry asked Severus with a drawl.

"Please don't call her that." Severus groaned making everyone laugh.

James jumped as his mobile phone went off, "Hello? Oh. Right now? I'm meant to be on holiday…" He paused for a second, "Oh god. Okay I'll be right there." He hung up and stood up quickly, "There's an emergency at work, I have to go." He told Lily before leaving quickly. James worked in one of New York's biggest law firms and had been expecting to be called in with an emergency for a while.

"James and I have a dinner party tomorrow night, we were thinking of staying in the City for a few days to catch up with friends." Lily told the others. "Obviously we'll check with Nev first but he said something about wanting to go and see some friends, and he'll have to go back o Augusta's soon anyway."

"Sounds like a good plan, I bet you miss the City." Remus smiled.

"You know what I really miss?" Lily asked with a small, cheeky grin, "Some female company!"

"That's what Sirius is for." Harry laughed, ducking as his godfather threw a pillow at his head.

_**.~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~.**_

Severus jumped as Lucius poked his head around the living room door, "Sorry, they only just left and then I had to talk to Narcissa." The man apologized, glancing around the room. Lily had gone to bed a while ago and James had followed her once he'd returned. "Harry go to bed." Lucius said, noticing his son lying half asleep against the arm of the sofa. Harry opened one eye and grumbled as he got to his feet and left the room, murmuring good night to everyone. Lucius walked into the room and sat down next to Severus, "Draco's in the bathroom, he'll be in in a moment." Lucius murmured, "I… Last night… Sirius and I kissed, we agreed it was a mistake but Draco overheard us talking about it. He thought we were having an affair that's why he got so upset and left."

"Oh shit." Sirius whispered, "Rem I…" He trailed off, looking desperately at his husband.

"Why didn't you tell me?"

"It was a mistake, I acted stupid and kissed Luc and managed to upset him. It was all in the past seconds after it happened. I… I didn't want to hurt you." Sirius whispered.

Lucius glanced at Severus who was looking both betrayed but also understanding. "I'm sorry." The blonde man whispered, "Anyway." He continued, slightly louder, "I told Draco everything, he doesn't really understand though so I said he could talk to us, ask us questions."

"How are we meant to explain it to him when we don't understand it?" Severus asked moodily.

"As best we can." Remus replied, "If you have an issue with Lucius not telling you what happened then you keep it quiet until Draco is in bed." He added quietly and sternly, already planning on having a word with Sirius, Severus scowled but gave a curt nod and Sirius and Lucius exchanged guilty looks.

"So…" Draco said from the doorway, "You all fancy each other?"

Sirius flushed slightly, "I guess that's one way of putting it." He agreed as Draco moved and sat cross legged in front of the fire.

"So why not just do a four way relationship?" Draco asked, "I mean I know they're not really common but they do exist. It's not like anyone could raise eyebrows anyway since one of you is meant to be dead as it is. That might be a bigger shocker for people."

"We… We were worried about you, and Harry." Severus murmured.

Draco shrugged, "If you were happy… Look… I know Harry would feel the same."

"It's more complex than that." Remus sighed.

Draco rolled his eyes, "Right fine, make it complicated if you want to. Whatever. I'm going to bed." He stood up.

"We need to talk tomorrow, about you leaving like you did." Sirius said quietly.

"Fine." Draco nodded.

"You're really not fazed by all this are you?" Remus asked, his eyes wide.

Draco shrugged again, "It's a lot better than what I was thinking, and not half as big a deal as finding out my parents aren't my parents and that Dumbledore's a bad guy…" He pulled a face, "Goodnight." And then he was gone, leaving the others in an awkward, contemplative, silence.

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**_Please Review._**

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	28. So not a virgin anymore

**Previosuly:** _"You're really not fazed by all this are you?" Remus asked, his eyes wide._

_Draco shrugged again, "It's a lot better than what I was thinking, and not half as big a deal as finding out my parents aren't my parents and that Dumbledore's a bad guy…" He pulled a face, "Goodnight." And then he was gone, leaving the others in an awkward, contemplative, silence._

_

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**So not a virgin anymore...**

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Remus glanced at the other three before biting at his lip slightly, "Anyone want any tea?" He asked quietly.

Lucius rolled his eyes, "Yes. Because tea solves everything." He drawled, earning himself a scowl from Sirius and a jab in the ribs from Severus.

"I'd love a cup actually." Sirius murmured, smiling at Remus who's cheeks had gone pink, "Come on." He added, taking his husband's hand and leading him into the kitchen.

"That was really rude." Severus told Lucius with a scowl, the man at least had the decency to look ashamed, "You could at least apologize." Severus added.

"Oh for Merlin's sake stop treating me like a child!" Lucius snapped and Severus raised an eyebrow.

"I'm going into the kitchen to give you some space to calm down and stop being a jerk." The man murmured before standing up and following his friends. Remus was sat on one of the counter tops staring at the kettle whilst Sirius rummaged through a cupboard for some biscuits. "Sorry about -"

"Don't apologize for him." Remus interrupted, "Just don't. You can't control what he says."

"Right." Severus nodded, "So…" He trailed off and grabbed one of the biscuits from the packet as Sirius walked past. "It's been a long day, it's two in the morning and we're all tired. I mean… We probably should talk stuff through but…"

"Maybe not now?" Remus offered.

Severus nodded, "Yeah."

"Except we've been putting it off and putting it off." Sirius pointed out, "And… And that's what made me kiss Luc, I was so confused and so…" He groaned. "We need to sort this out, properly."

Remus pulled a face, "I'm not sure Lucius is really in the mood." He said quietly.

"Lucius is an idiot and is sorry." Came a voice from the doorway and they turned to see Lucius there, "It's been a pretty rough day, no excuse I know but…"

Remus laughed, "Oh come on, it's not like you said anything really insulting or hurtful." He said, pulling the man into a quick hug. Lucius looked at Severus over Remus' shoulder and mouthed an apology that Severus accepted with a smile and an eye roll.

"You're right though, we need to talk." Lucius said as he and Remus moved away from each other and Remus went back to making Sirius' cup of tea. "I can't help but thinking Draco might be right." Lucius murmured. "That maybe we are just making it more complicated than it is."

Severus frowned, "But Harry -"

"He's over it." Sirius said quietly. "Whatever feelings he had for me, he's over them, and pretty embarrassed they ever existed."

"That doesn't mean he'll be okay with… with this." Severus whispered, "We only just got him back, I don't want to lose him now."

Sirius gave a small nod, "I get that." He said, smiling as Remus handed him a mug of tea, "Thanks babe. Look… Why don't we all go to bed then tomorrow we sit down, lock the living room door and talk this through until we know what we're doing."

Lucius nodded, "Okay." He said before flushing, "Umm… Rem, you couldn't possibly make me a cuppa could you?" He asked guiltily making everyone laugh.

_**.~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~.**_

Draco closed his door quietly, in case Remus and Sirius were still asleep in the room next door, then he turned to go down the hallway and almost bumped into Neville, "Oh… Hey." Draco murmured, Neville simply raised an eyebrow before giving a small nod and moving away, turning to go back into his own room. "Nev wait… I… Can we talk?" Draco asked quietly.

Neville shrugged, "If you want." He muttered, failing to keep the bitterness out of his voice, he was trying not to be too angry and not to judge Draco for leaving the way he had, without saying anything, but it was difficult. "In your room or…" Draco trailed off and Neville shrugged again, pushing open the door to his room and walking in, Draco sighed and followed him. "I'm sorry I left without saying anything, things just kind of got too much. And yeah I probably should have talked to you, after all we are dating but… Well we haven't been together that long. And I'm not really the kind of person who feels happy doing all that emotiony chat stuff" Draco said quietly, sitting down on the edge of Neville's desk. "I'm sorry…"

"It was really embarrassing Draco, Everyone expected me to know where you were and then I had to admit that I'd been in your room and now Lily keeps looking at me strangely…" Neville scowled before sighing, "I do get it, Of course I do." He murmured gently, "This whole situation is a giant complicated mess… And you're right, we haven't been dating long, how much do we really know each other?" He added quietly.

Draco frowned, "But that's the whole point of a new relationship, taking the time to get to know each other. Don't give up on me just because I was a bit of a prat. Please…"

"You think I'm breaking up with you?" Neville asked with a raised eyebrow, "Now you really are being a prat."

"What… But… I thought you were mad." Draco trailed off, frowning at Neville who rolled his eyes and kissed him gently,

"I was, but I get it. I really like you Draco, and I would like to get to know you a bit better."

"Oh." Draco said before sliding off the desk and wrapping his arms around Neville, kissing him hard as they moved backwards towards the bed, falling onto it. Neville wrapped his legs around Draco, "Does this count as getting to know each other?" He gasped, grinding his hips against the blonde's as his hands fumbled with Draco's shirt buttons.

"You bet it does." Draco murmured in reply before latching his lips onto Neville's neck and making the boy buck his hips in response. Draco moved away for a second to pull his shirt and trousers off before helping Neville out of his own tee-shirt and combats. "May I?" Draco asked, dipping his hand to the top of Neville's pants.

"Stop being so fucking polite and get on with it!" Neville hissed, grabbing at Draco's shoulder's.

Draco chuckled, "Patience." He teased, freeing Neville's dick from the confines of his underpants and stroking it slowly, Neville gave a hiss and bit down on Draco's shoulder, closing his eyes and just surrendering to Draco's touch. Finally it became too much for him and he grabbed Draco's hand, "Stop, too soon. Don't wanna come yet. Want you… Properly." He said, looking Draco in the eye.

"Are you sure?" Draco asked, aware of what Neville was asking. Neville nodded slowly, moving and pulling open his bedside drawer, revealing the condoms and lubricant in there.

_**.~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~.**_

"You okay?" James asked, sitting down next to Harry.

Harry raised an eyebrow, "My dads send you, or did Sirius or Remus?"

James rolled his eyes, "God you're cynical." He said, "I came out to see you because you looked bothered about something."

Harry flushed, "Sorry." He mumbled and James laughed. "I'm fine though… Well not fine but… As fine as I can be." Harry said, shrugging his shoulders slightly. "I think if you came to check on me every time I looked bothered about something then we'd be spending all of our time together."

James gave a small chuckle and tussled Harry's hair, "So you're kinda fine?" He checked with a small grin.

"Yeah, kinda fine." Harry agreed, "Well… I feel a tad lonely. I mean what with Ron leaving and everyone else coupled up I'm either gonna be playing gooseberry or sat on my tod."

James nodded, "That figures." He said, "Guess there's nothing I can do to make you feel any better."

"Not really." Harry agreed.

"You like it out here don't you?" James asked, looking around the garden, "Everytime someone asks where you are the answer seems to be out here."

"It's big… Open… I feel freer out here." Harry shrugged, "It's not quite as good as flying but… It comes kind of close."

James nodded, "Yeah. I know that feeling." He said, looking up as the door opened and Neville wandered out, his cheeks flushed. "You okay?" James asked.

"What?" Neville croaked, "Yes, yes I'm fine!" He mumbled, dropping onto the grass next to Harry.

Harry raised an eyebrow, "Draco's back I take it?"

"Huh? What? Why would you say that?" Neville asked, looking like he was going to panic.

"I think he's talking about the hickey on your neck." James smirked as he pulled himself to his feet, "Right, I better go get ready for this dinner party before Lily has a tantrum."

Harry smiled, "Laters." He waved as James wandered off back into the house. "So… What's going on?" Harry asked, turning back to Neville who was shredding grass.

"I… I'm not a virgin anymore." Neville whispered, his cheeks flushed.

"What? Shit… When? This morning or…?" Harry trailed off as Neville nodded slowly, "Are you okay? You seem a little… I mean, He didn't force you or anythin -"

"No! Merlin no!" Neville gasped. "I… It was amazing." He whispered, his cheeks turning redder, "I didn't… It's not like planned… Okay that's a lie… I had the protection sorted so I guess I did plan it."

Harry gave a small nod, a strange look on his face, "So… What you doing out here now?"

"Well we couldn't hole up in my room forever." Neville laughed, seeming more relaxed now, "I panicked a bit when I saw Jame- My dad, Kinda thought he might know somehow." He admitted, blushing some more.

Harry raised an eyebrow, "Yeah cause 'So not a virgin now' is written on your forehead!"

"Keep your voice down!" Neville hissed.

"Oh for crying out loud Nev, they all think you did it ages ago!" Harry snapped.

Neville frowned, "Okay…" He trailed off, staring at Harry, "What's up with you?"

"Nothing." Harry grunted, "Look just, stop worrying, there's nothing wrong with what you did, James and Lily and the others aint gunna judge you." And with that Harry stood up and walked off, leaving Neville staring after him with the strange sense that he might have done something wrong.

Harry stomped up the stairs to his room and threw himself down on the bed, not quite sure why he felt so angry and disappointed and even more unsure if he wanted to analyze those feelings. He looked up as the door opened and Ron walked in, sitting down on the edge of the bed and placing his hand on Harry' shoulder, saying nothing as Harry turned away, swiping at his nose. "Hey." Ron murmured, "Come on." And Harry's shoulders shook, tears streaking down his cheeks. "What's up?" Ron asked quietly, "I wont be so self-obsessed as to assume this is about me leaving." He tried to joke and Harry managed a small smile through his tears. "You can tell me…" Ron tried.

Harry shook his head, "No I can't." He muttered, "Because I don't know what the fucking problem is."

"Oh… Come here you messed up bastard." Ron chuckled, pulling Harry into a tight hug and letting the boy cry.

_**.~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~.**_

"So… Here we are." Severus muttered, biting at his lip.

"Indeed." Remus replied. James and Lily had gone off to their dinner party and Draco, Neville and Harry had vanished ages ago, Ron had also gone home a few hours ago and so they hadn't been able to put off the inevitable conversation any longer. "I…" Sirius started before stopping, biting at his lip. "How would a four way relationship work anyway?" He asked finally, "I mean… Would it just be the open relationship between the four of us or… Or the four of us somehow finding a way to all shag at once." Remus choked on his tea and put the mug down quickly, coughing slightly as he tried to clear his throat. Sirius rolled his eyes and jabbed him in the ribs, "Prude. We have to talk about this." He muttered as Remus turned red.

"Doesn't mean I have to be comfortable with it." Remus hissed back, jabbing Sirius in return.

Lucius rolled his eyes, "Well that would depend on what each of us would want but… We need to agree if we're going to make a go of it or not first." He said.

Severus worried his lip between his teeth, "I… If we did then I would rather keep it between us. Not telling the others… I know I doesn't feel right to be keeping stuff from James and Lily but… Just for a while, until we are comfortable." He said, managing a small smile as Remus, Sirius and Lucius all agreed.

"I think it's worth us giving it a go, but if it doesn't work out we can't… We can't let our friendship go…"

"No! No way!" Sirius agreed, interrupting Lucius.

Remus wrinkled his nose, "Are we doing this then?" He asked and everyone nodded slowly, "well then we probably should… Should address Sirius' first question." Remus mumbled, his cheeks pink.

"Maybe we should start slow, make it open between the four of us, kinda like swingers I guess…" Severus shrugged, "Then maybe later on we can… Can do it." He said gently, feeling his trousers tighten at the mere thought. There were soft murmurs of agreement then an awkward silence settled as they all wondered what to do or say next. Then Severus stood up, walked over to Remus, straddled him and kissed him hard.

Sirius stared open mouthed. "Damn."

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_**Please review.**_

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_**There will be a foursome scence but I've never written one before so I'm a bit nervous. **_

_**I'm doing a lot of (rather hot!) research so it might not happen for a few chapters.**_

_**Thanks.**_

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	29. Music

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**_Music..._**

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Neville smiled as he slid into his seat next to Draco who was frowning at the paper and spooning cheerios into his mouth, "You look almost adult." Neville said with a small grin and Draco looked at him in disgust, cheerios falling out of his mouth, Neville laughed and grabbed a piece of toast. "So what's new in the world?" Neville asked as he chewed his food.

"Must you speak with food in your mouth?" Draco asked, his lip curling and Lucius chuckled as Neville's cheeks flushed.

Neville swallowed his toast, "Sorree." He drawled, "So?"

"Same old, people dying, people fighting." Draco shrugged. "They want Dumbledore to tell them everything will be okay…" He rolled his eyes and folded the paper up before tapping Neville on the head with it before putting it on the table again. "Sorry I didn't wake you." Draco said, "I was up at like six so…"

"Well in that case I'm glad you left me." Neville laughed, taking another piece of toast.

"Want some coffee?" Lucius asked.

"Ooh please." Neville smiled.

Lucius smirked, "Well make a whole pot when you do, I'd rather like some too." He said and Draco gave a small chuckle as Neville pulled a face and stood up to make some coffee. "Does everyone want some?" He grumbled.

"Go on then." Draco smiled.

"Want some what?" Harry mumbled as he slid into a seat.

Neville yawned, "Coffee." He said when he'd finished and went back to making a pot.

"Urgh." Harry grunted and grabbed the paper off the table, flipping it open as Neville put the pot of coffee down along with some mugs. "Thought you like coffee?" Lucius frowned.

"I do, just not Nev's." Harry smirked.

Draco frowned, "What's wrong with it?" He asked cautiously, looking down at the mug he had just poured himself.

"Nothing's wrong with it!" Neville snapped and Draco gave him a trusting smile before sipping at the coffee and promptly spitting it out, "Oh merlin, what did you do to it?"

"Nothing! It's just coffee!" Neville said angrily.

Lucius took a sip of his own and managed not to grimace, "Perhaps I should make another pot." He murmured and Neville scowled. Draco smiled and wrapped an arm around his boyfriend, "It's just coffee babe, you can do loads of other stuff." He murmured gently.

"Hmm." Neville grunted but he was smiling.

"When did you make Harry coffee anyway?" Draco asked, slightly louder.

Harry chuckled, "We got well pissed after one of the quidditch games and our whole dorm went down to the kitchen where Nev insisted on making the coffee rather than letting the house elves do it. He even made one of the poor sods cry they were so upset at not being allowed to serve us."

Draco rolled his eyes, "So you're a nasty drunk?" He asked Neville teasingly.

"Stubborn, not nasty." Neville corrected with a laugh. Lucius rolled his eyes as he put another pot of coffee on the table and ignored the worried looks Harry and Neville shot at him when they noticed he was there.

"No-one else up yet?" Neville asked, changing the subject quickly.

"If they are then they haven't come down." Lucius replied, pouring out a mug of coffee, adding milk and leaving the room. He headed straight upstairs, going to his and Sev's room but paused outside the room when he saw Sirius coming down the corridor, "Morning."

"Hey, waking Sev up for the staff meeting at the school?" Sirius guessed, "Just had to force Rem to get his arse out of bed." He added with a chuckle.

"Sev's shattered after last night." Lucius murmured, "Anyone would think he'd been shagging all night."

Sirius laughed, "Bless him." They'd spent most of yesterday evening, and into the night, just talking and kissing, all four of them, slowly coming to terms with their new relationship.

"Come wake Sev up with me?" Lucius offered.

"Alright…" Sirius said cautiously, following Lucius into the bedroom and closing the door behind himself. Severus was lying on the bed fast asleep, his arms wrapped around one of the pillows. "Aww." Sirius giggled, sitting on the edge of the bed.

Lucius placed the mug of coffee on the bedside table and gently shook Severus' shoulder, "Sweetie?"

"Go 'way." Severus grumbled, pulling the pillow over his head.

"Sevvie, you have to wake up now babe. You need to be at Hogwarts in an hour." Lucius said.

"Yeah, come on Sev." Sirius said and Severus sat up, frowning at Sirius and then at Lucius before smiling.

"I could get used to waking up like this." He grinned, "Where's Remmie?"

Sirius smiled, "Shower." He explained as Lucius handed Sev the mug of coffee and kissed him gently, turning and smiling slightly as Sirius watched.

"Want one?" Severus smirked, leaning to plant a firm kiss on Sirius' lips and making the man squeak. Lucius gave a small smile, it was taking some getting used to this situation but he did feel quite comfortable already. "I should get up." Severus mumbled, sighing at the thought.

"Yes, yes you should." Lucius agreed, "Come on Sirius." He added, grabbing Sirius' arm, "If we hang around then Sev'll just stay in bed and talk. The only way to get him out of bed is to abandon him and then tempt him with pancakes."

Severus grinned, "Pancakes!"

"See?" Lucius laughed as he dragged Sirius from the room. They bumped into Remus and James on the landing, "You okay?" Lucius asked, noticing James' pained expression.

"Over did it on the wine last night." James mumbled,

Sirius laughed, "There should be a hangover potion in the kitchen cupboard." He said as they headed down the corridor, "And Luc promised pancakes, they always help with a hangover."

James gave a small smile before wincing as they heard loud laughter from the kitchen, "Boys are up I take it." He muttered as he walked into the kitchen, raising an eyebrow at the fact that most of the packet of frosties were on the floor.

"Oh… Hi." Harry said, giving the adults a sheepish grin.

Lucius rolled his eyes, "Any chance you three could clear this up?"

Neville pulled a face, "It was Harry's fault." He muttered and Draco looked at him in surprise.

"I'm sure we can help." He told his boyfriend before pulling his wand from his pocket, "And since Harry can't do magic without getting arrested by the ministry I suppose I can do it." He added with a small laugh, casting a quick charm and flying the cereal to the bin.

Harry's cheeks were flushed, "Sorry, I know it's a waste of money, I just tripped…"

"Hey, it's fine. Accidents happen." Lucius smiled as he got to work on the pancakes.

"I can pay you back the -"

"Harry, it's fine." Lucius assured the teenager, knowing that Harry was drawing on his experience at the Dursleys and was expecting to get yelled at.

Harry continued to look worried but he gave a small nod and smiled as Draco grabbed his arm, "You still want to meet my baby?" He asked.

"Yeah!" Harry grinned and they both turned and left the kitchen quickly.

"Pancakes will be ready soon!" Lucius yelled after them.

Neville scowled at the kitchen door and sat down on one of the chairs, "Who's Draco's baby?" Remus asked.

"Guitar." Neville muttered, still scowling.

James raised a slight eyebrow and was about to ask what was up when Draco's head appeared in the door again, "You coming or what?" He asked Neville who suddenly smiled and leapt up, following Draco up the stairs.

"Teenagers are so bloody confusing." James mumbled, sitting down at the table. "We were never that bad were we?"

"We were worse!" Sirius laughed.

_**.~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~.**_

Draco strummed a few chords and Harry smiled, "It is a beautiful guitar." He admitted.

"She's my angel." Draco said, "And nothing or no-one will ever compare." He added in a baby voice, stroking his fingers over the strings and laughing as Neville gave him a disturbed head shake. "I'm kidding of course, well kind of. She is special."

"Why is she a she?" Neville asked as Draco placed the guitar back down.

"Dunno… Just sort of is… When I first bought it the man in the shop said 'She's a beauty' and it kind of stuck." Draco shrugged.

They all looked up as they heard Lucius yell, "Pancakes are done!"

"You coming?" Neville asked.

"Nah, not hungry…" Draco said, "Already ate loads of cereal."

"Snap." Harry nodded.

Neville gave a small nod and stayed where he was, Draco smiled, "You go, me and Harry'll just play guitar and see you later." He said gently.

"If you're sure…" Neville muttered, leaving the room.

Draco frowned slightly and Harry raised an eyebrow, "He's being all clingy." The Blonde shrugged, picking his guitar up again.

"Well you did have sex… And what with it being his first time… Maybe he's scared you wont respect him now."

Draco raised an eyebrow, "That's ridiculous." He said.

"Maybe but…" Harry trailed off and shrugged.

"I think he's scared of me cheating on him…" Draco said, wrinkling his nose as he strummed some more on his guitar, "I got too close to my ex and panicked so slept with Blaise… Nev thinks I'll do the same to him."

Harry frowned slightly, "Will you?" He asked.

"Nah, I don't think so." Draco said, sounding uncertain as he began to play his guitar properly.

"Is that greenday?" Harry asked in surprise, changing the subject, "How do you know greenday?"

Draco shrugged again, "We're not as cut off from the muggle world as you like to think, we just hide it well." He said, giving a small smile as Harry moved and sat next to him, "You know the words?" He asked Harry.

"Yes…" Harry said cautiously.

"Sing it for me."

Harry frowned and looked away, a look of confusion in his eyes, "Why?" He asked quietly.

"Because you have an amazing voice." Draco said bluntly, "And I want to hear it go with my music…"

Harry stared at Draco for a moment before nodding slowly and opening his mouth, waiting for Draco to restart the music. _"Another turning point; a fork stuck in the road. Time grabs you by the wrist; directs you where to go. So make the best of this test and don't ask why. It's not a question but a lesson learned in time. It's something unpredictable but in the end it's right. I hope you had the time of your life__...__" _He trailed off as Draco stopped playing and put down his guitar, "Why d'you stop?"

"I… You should go pro. Like proper contracts and stuff… Your voice is just, it's amazing."

Harry flushed, "Umm thanks, I think." He mumbled, looking at the floor before glancing up at Draco through his eyelashes. "I don't tend to… I don't really feel comfortable singing for people." He admitted

"So why did you sing for me?" Draco frowned.

Harry pulled a slight face, "Because you get it. You feel the same with your guitar. You were sharing that with me so…"

"Yes but the first day you came here you sang for me." Draco pointed out.

"I did? I don't remember… Oh wait, yeah I did… Umm… Dunno." Harry shrugged, "Guess I just decided to trust you."

Draco gave a small smile, "I'm glad you did." He murmured, moving his hand to brush Harry's hair from where it had fallen into his face.

"Thanks." Harry croaked and they stared at each other for a while.

"I think I might go get a pancake actually." Draco said suddenly, standing up and putting his guitar down on the bed. "Coming?"

"Umm yeah, In a min." Harry nodded, watching as Draco left quickly. Harry sighed and flopped backwards onto the bed, narrowly missing the guitar. He tried to figure out what had just happened between him and Draco but, drawing a blank, he stood up and headed downstairs too, figuring that pancakes could always help. Everyone was sat around the big table in the kitchen when Harry walked in and he slid into the spare seat next to Remus, mumbling a thanks as the man handed him a plate with a pancake on. "You okay?" Remus asked quietly.

"Yeah." Harry nodded before sighing, "I… I dunno, it's complicated like."

"Well you can talk to me later, only if you want to obviously."

Harry gave a small smile, "Thanks." He said, "So what time is the staff meeting?"

"Ten so I'll pop you the Weasley's at about ten to. You all set?" Remus asked.

Harry shrugged, "Umm I think so."

"Good." Remsu nodded as he took a gulp of tea, "'Cause it's already quarter too." He added, looking up at the clock, "I'll just go grab my papers." He stood up then and kissed Sirius quickly on the head before leaving. Harry gave a small smile as he looked around the room, watching as Lucius ducked away from the spoon of syrup Severus tried to shove in his face, watching James feed Lily pancakes whilst trying to maintain a conversation with Draco and Sirius. "Ready?" Remus asked from next to him, resting his hand on Harry's shoulder.

Harry nodded, "Yeah, yeah…"

* * *

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**_Please review._**

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	30. Complications

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**Complications.**

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The next few weeks passed slowly, Neville's Birthday, Harry's birthday, some other events… Neville went back to see his Grandmother for a while, _'a holiday from herbology summer school'_, James and Lily went back to New York for a few days, Harry went to stay at the Weasley's briefly so that he could go to Diagon Alley with them. And then, before they knew it, it was time for Harry, Draco, Remus, Severus and Neville to return to Hogwarts and time for James and Lily to return home too. "It's going to be quiet." Lucius murmured, he, Severus, Remus and Sirius were in Remus and Sirius' room, all sat on the bed.

"Yeah, be strange with just you and me." Sirius agreed.

"Quieter." Lucius nodded.

"Yeah… But just imagine." Sirius grinned, sliding his hand onto Lucius' knee and chuckling.

They all looked up as there was a knock on the door and Sirius quickly moved his hand, moving away slightly as the door opened slowly, "I can't find any socks and we're leaving in two days and can someone buy me some please?" Harry said, pulling a face as he stepped into the room.

"What is it with teenagers and socks?" Remus asked, "Draco lost all of his last month as well… We'll make sure you have some."

"Ta…" Harry nodded, "I'll just leave you to… Whatever you were doing." He added, turning away.

"We were just talking!" Severus said quickly.

"Right." Harry said, suddenly suspicious, he narrowed his eyes, "What's going on?"

Lucius gave a small shrug, "What do you mean?"

"Oh come on!" Harry snapped, "The four of you have been acting odd for weeks, always sneaking off." He gave a growl, "You don't even realize it do you? James and Lily are looking increasingly abandoned; no wonder they're happy about going back to New York. Every time I've tried to talk to you lately you're always busy, all of you. So what the fuck is going on?"

"Harry… It's complicated…" Sirius started.

"Yeah." Harry muttered bitterly, "It always is… Fine, forget it, just… Just stop vanishing away all the time! Some of us have actually been trying to talk to you lot lately."

Severus winced, "Sorry." He whispered.

Harry shrugged, "Don't forget my socks." He said before leaving.

The four men exchanged looks, "Have we really been so… self-obsessed?" Remus asked quietly.

Lucius gave a small nod, "I guess we may have been… I mean, We've probably been ignoring James and Lily a bit… And the boys… Look, it's fine, we'll just apologise, give a crap explanation and make sure we don't let it happen again." He said, moving and kissing Remus gently before doing the same to Sirius and Severus, "Come on, let's go downstairs. They're all leaving soon we should spend time with them, besides we can always hang out when they're all in bed."

"Yeah." Sirius nodded, standing up and moving off the bed.

They all headed back downstairs, finding Lily sat at the kitchen table making a list, "Hey, Nev's out of socks so I'm going to pop into town later, do you lot need anything?"

"Harry needs socks too." Remus said as he put the kettle on, pulling a face, "I think they must eat them." He added making the others laugh.

At the sound of laughter, James poked his head around the door and, on spotting the men, he glanced at Lily and raised a slight eyebrow, she replied with a shrug. "So you do exist then…?" James asked with a smirk.

"Yeah… Sorry about… All that. So… Back to the Big Apple soon huh?" Sirius asked, quickly changing the subject.

James nodded, "Yeah, but we'll come and visit." He promised.

"You better." Sirius grinned. "Only just got you back… Rather not lose you now…" He added with a mumble.

James gave a small smile, "Why don't you come to NY with us? We can change your looks a bit just in case Dumbles is keeping an eye. We can go out for dinner and pints and… Just be normal."

"That sounds great…" Sirius grinned.

Lucius pouted, "So I'll just stay here on my own?" He asked with a scowl.

"No… It doesn't matter…" Sirius started, his shoulders slumping

"Luc, you know you'll have to go see Narcissa and live with her a lot of the time so that the death eaters don't suspect anything. Stop being a brat." Remus said, rolling his eyes, "I think it sounds like a fab idea." He added, squeezing Sirius' shoulder.

Lily took Sirius' hand, "We would love to have you." She said gently, kissing his forehead.

Sirius continued to frown at the table top until Severus elbowed Lucius, "Go for it." Lucius mumbled managing a small smile as Sirius' whole face lit up.

"We'll all visit and stay in touch." Remus said with a smile.

"Course we will." James agreed, taking the mug of tea Remus handed him, "Ta."

They all looked up as Neville walked in, "Hey." The teenager muttered, going to the cupboard and grabbing a bag of crisps.

"Someone will be making lunch soon." James said quietly. Neville simply grunted and left the room, opening the crisps as he went and James scowled, clenching his teeth, "I swear that kid…" He trailed off as Lily placed her hand on his arm, leaning over to kiss his forehead gently.

"It's okay." She whispered, "It's okay."

"Anything we can do?" Remus asked quietly, noticing the tears in James' eyes.

Lily shook her head, "It's tough that's all… And it's something we should have told you when we first got back…"

"What?" Severus frowned.

James wiped at his eyes, "Lily and I have been trying for a child for years, we've had five miscarriages and countless failed attempts." He said, blowing his nose.

"It's been tough. And we decided to stop trying but now we're back in the Wizarding world we were thinking of trying again." Lily said, "There are different ways now so…"

"Except we can't even look after Neville properly, we can't get him to behave or do as we ask… So how would we cope with another child?" James asked moodily.

Lucius sat down and took James' hand, "Your problems with Nev stem from the fact that you didn't raise him, this whole situation is so different from anything anyone has to go through, plus Neville's a teenager! It goes with the territory for him to be moody and uncooperative!" He chuckled, "You two will be fantastic parents… And I really hope you can find a way to make it work."

Lily gave a sad smile, "It's just… We're not sure if we can go through all that again." She murmured, "We are thinking about it but… Well, it is difficult to decide."

Remus smiled and handed her a mug of tea too, "If you need to talk…" He offered.

Lily nodded, "Sorry we didn't tell you… It was just… It's not easy to bring up. Harry knows, he hasn't mentioned it exactly, not properly, but he made reference to it…"

"I guess he found out at the same time we got our memories back, at the same time he figured out where we were all hidden away." Sirius murmured.

"Probably…" Lily agreed, resting her head on James' shoulder.

Harry and Draco walked into the kitchen then and Harry went over to one of the cupboards, "Can I have a biscuit?" He asked as he rummaged around.

"Well we were going to make a start on lunch soon." Lucius said.

Harry pulled a face, "Is that like Sirius' version of soon or normal people's soon?" He asked with a laugh, ducking as Sirius threw a tea towel at him.

Lily stood up, "My version of soon. About twenty minutes maybe." She said, moving over to see what she could cook.

Harry nodded and shut the cupboard door, moving back over to Draco who gave a small groan. "Are you okay?" Lily asked.

"Hmm… Could I have a headache potion or something? My head's absolutely killing me." The teenager muttered.

Lucius got one from the cupboard and gave it to Draco, "Let us know if it doesn't fade." He said, frowning slightly.

"Yeah, It's just a headache though, really I'm fine." Draco said, giving a wan smile before grabbing Sirius' mug of tea and swallowing some, following it with the pain relief before drinking some more tea to get rid of the taste. "Oi!" Sirius said with a chuckle.

Draco shrugged and gave the tea back, "Sorry." He yawned.

Remus placed his hand on his son's forehead, "You're feeling rather warm, is it only a headache you have?"

"Yeah, look I'm fine. If I feel sick then I'll let you know." Draco said, jerking away from the older man's touch.

Lily moved towards the oven, "How does spaghetti Bolognese sound?"

"Great." James smiled and everyone else made sounds of agreement.

_**.~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~.**_

Harry scowled at his trunk as he tried to shove a final pair of socks in, "Argh!" He grunted as he attempted to close the trunk and failed.

"Harry?" Lucius asked, looking around the door.

"Can't close it!" Harry said, trying to sit on the trunk.

Lucius chuckled, "It might help if you folded things rather than just throwing them in." He said gently, moving over to the bed and casting a spell so that everything in the trunk, including Harry's pants and socks, was neatly folded and the trunk could close easily.

"Thanks." Harry mumbled.

"I got you something." Lucius said, drawing a small parcel from his pocket and handing it to Harry, "It's nothing big." He added quietly as Harry frowned and opened the parcel, inside was a small pendant hanging on a leather thread.

The pendant had a rune carved into it, "What does it mean?" Harry asked quietly, staring at the pendant.

"Family." Lucius replied, "If you ever need to speak to me just hold it tightly and say my name. It links back to me and I'll know and find a way to talk to you, or at least get someone else you can trust to…" He added, jumping as Harry suddenly flung his arms around the man.

"Thank you!" The boy breathed.

"You're welcome." Lucius whispered, holding his son tightly, "I love you very much Harry, never forget that."

Harry clung to the man, "I love you too." He mumbled awkwardly.

Lucius stroked Harry's hair for a second before pulling back, "We probably wont see much of each other before Christmas, But stay strong and remember how special you are to us all." He said gently. Harry gave a small nod, "And please take care." Lucius added.

"I will." Harry whispered, wiping at his eyes as tears fell down his cheeks.

"You all packed for tomorrow then?" Lucius asked softly, motioning to Harry's trunk.

"Yup. All there." Harry nodded.

"Good, now James and Lily have gone to pick up some takeaways and we were going to all watch a film in the living room, Sound okay?" Lucius asked his son as Harry slid the pendant over his head.

Harry nodded, "Sounds great." He said.

"Good." Lucius smiled. "Could you go and see if Draco is around then? I'll go and help the others sort things out." He gave Harry another quick hug before leaving the room.

Harry let out a deep breath and wiped at his eyes again before attempting to gather his thoughts and heading off, towards Draco's room, Neville had gone back to his Nan's already, causing Lily to cry for hours. Harry stopped outside the door and knocked briefly, "Yeah?" Draco yelled out so Harry pushed the door open and went into the room, letting the door swing shut behind him. Draco was lying on his bed strumming quietly on his guitar, his room looked like a bomb had hit it, clothes were thrown everywhere and books lay around in piles. "Bloody hell…" Harry muttered, "You might want to pack this all before tomorrow."

"Yeah, yeah." Draco mumbled, staring at the ceiling.

Harry went and sat next to him, "Kinda sucks going back doesn't it?"

"Kinda." Draco agreed. "I mean, don't get me wrong, I'm glad to be seeing my friends again but… It'll be a bit fake."

"Plus you wont be able to hang out with meeee." Harry said in a singsong voice making Draco chuckle.

"That will be a tad depressing actually." The blonde admitted quietly before continuing to strum his guitar,

Harry moved so that he was lying next to Draco, theirs arms touching. "I'll miss you too." He said quietly. Draco moved to put his guitar down before lying back down, sliding his hand over Harry's own, "We should have a party tonight, you and me." Harry said, "I'm sure we can nab some booze."

"I don't know if that's a good idea." Draco said quietly.

Harry snorted, "Why not? Scared of getting into trouble?" He teased.

Draco turned his head and looked at Harry carefully, "When I'm drunk I have little self-control. So I'm pretty sure being drunk around you would be a disaster…" He said with a small smirk.

Harry swallowed, glancing at Draco who was watching him intently, "Maybe not then." Harry agreed quietly, keeping his voice light. Draco gave a small smile and turned back to look at the ceiling. Harry did the same, wondering why a situation that should, theoretically, be awkward, felt so comfortable. Draco squeezed Harry's hand gently after a few seconds before moving his own hand away and placing it on Harry's stomach, Harry's breathe caught in his throat and his fingers clutched at the bed covers, wondering what Draco was going to do next. Draco slowly moved his hand up Harry's stomach until it rested on the boy's chest, then he chuckled and turned over, "'S'bloody uncomfy lying that that." He said and Harry snorted, moving his hand so that it rested over Draco's which was still on Harry's chest. "So what did you want anyway?" Draco asked quietly, his breathe ghosting across Harry's neck.

"Oh, we're meant to go downstairs." Harry said, "Film and takeaway."

Draco sighed, squeezing Harry's hand again, "We should go."

"Yeah, yeah we should." Harry agreed but didn't move, neither did Draco. They lay there silently for a while longer, just enjoying being there and being peaceful, then the door opened and they both jumped, sitting up quickly.

"Oh, sorry… I didn't realize you were…" Sirius trailed off with a frown on his face, he paused for a second, "Anyway there's food and stuff downstairs so… If you want to come then…" Sirius trailed off for a second time, giving a small wave in the direction of the door.

"We… We were just…" Harry froze as Sirius looked at him curiously.

"We were just debating how to get all of my shit into the trunk." Draco cut in quietly, motioning around the room.

"Yeah, Dad used a spell on mine but I don't remember it." Harry added, is voice shaking just slightly.

Sirius slowly pulled his wand from his pocket and uttered the charm, watching as everything flew into Draco's trunk and folded neatly, "There." He said quietly, "Well like I said, there's food and a DVD downstairs…" He added before turning and leaving, closing the door carefully behind himself.

Draco and Harry exchanged looks before Draco looked away, "I do love Neville." He whispered.

"I know." Harry said quietly, standing up and brushing his hand over his trousers, getting rid of imaginary fluff, "I know… Come on, let's go downstairs."

Draco gave a small nod, sliding off the bed, "Yeah." He mumbled, "Let's go."

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**_Please review._**

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	31. School

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_**School.**_

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Sirius jumped as the kitchen door opened, "What are you doing up so early?" He asked Harry as the teenager walked in. "Could ask you the same question." Harry muttered as he put the kettle on.

"Couldn't sleep." Sirius said quietly, sipping at his tea.

Harry pulled himself up onto the cabinet, next to his godfather, "Me either." He said.

"Worried about going back to school?" Sirius asked gently.

Harry shrugged, "A bit, other stuff too." He muttered.

"Want to talk about it?" Sirius offered, just about managing to stop himself begging Harry to tell him what was up.

Harry pulled a face and jumped off the counter, making himself a cup of tea and staying silent, Sirius had almost given up hope of getting a reply when Harry turned to look at him, "It's just stuff… So much stuff going on, I feel like my head's going to explode with it all!" The teenager said, spooning sugar into his mug and stirring it viciously before throwing the spoon into the sink and heading into the garden.

Sirius slid off the counter and followed him, "Anything I can do?"

"Doubt it, because that would require you to understand something I don't." Harry muttered, drinking his tea.

Sirius bit at his lip lightly before taking a deep breathe, "Would this have something to do with Draco and what I walked in on yesterday?" He asked quietly, unsure if he wanted to hear the answer.

Harry looked up, his eyes wide, "We weren't doing anything!" He said quickly, nearly dropping his mug.

"No?" Sirius asked, sitting down on the bench.

Harry looked away, staring across the garden, "I don't know…" He muttered, "I mean… We weren't kissing or shagging or stuff but…" He trailed off, "We were just lying there and it felt so… So nice, so normal." Sirius nodded, "I quite like him Siri… And he… I think he feels something because he said, well he said that the two of us getting drunk alone would be a bad thing because he wouldn't be able to… to control himself." Harry sighed, "Sorry… He's your son, you don't want to be hearing this." He mumbled.

"Harry I just want to help." Sirius said softly, Harry obviously needed to talk after all.

"Yeah well… I don't know what to do Sirius…" Harry drank some more of his tea and scowled, "No, that's a lie. I do. Whatever I feel for Draco is just… Well it doesn't matter. I like a different guy every other week! Draco's with Nev and they're happy. I wont even see him much at school so… It'll pass."

"And what about what you think he feels for you? Can you just ignore that?" Sirius asked.

Harry shrugged, "It's probably just cold feet. He does love Neville, he's probably just… Scared."

Sirius nodded, "So that's that?"

"Yeah… That's that." Harry agreed, draining his mug of tea. "Thanks." He added.

"I didn't do anything." Sirius chuckled.

Harry smiled, hugging his godfather, "You listened." He replied quietly.

"I'm really going to miss you." Sirius murmured, holding Harry close.

"Snap, and I'll try to stay in touch without anyone finding out you exist." Harry said softly.

Sirius smiled, "You better." He said, moving back and tussling Harry's hair, "Come on, we've probably got time for a quick nap before we have to get up again and you leave. You look shattered."

"Gee thanks." Harry snorted but let Sirius lead him back inside.

_**.~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~.**_

"How was your Uncle this summer?" Dean asked Harry quietly, sitting down next to him on the windowsill.

Harry smiled, "Fine, he left me alone and I went to Remus' after a week anyway so…"

"Professor Lupin!" Dean grinned, "How is he?"

"Fine." Harry said, "He's fine…" He added as Dean pulled a cigarette out of a packet and lit it.

"Do you have to do that in here?" Ron asked from where he was unpacking his trunk, "It stinks!"

Dean pulled a face, "Spoilsport." He muttered under his breathe and Harry chuckled.

"They'll kill you." Seamus said crossly, walking out of the bathroom, Dean rolled his eyes as did Harry, Neville and Ron, this particular conversation had been going on for a good few years now, since Dean had taken up smoking.

"I'll quit next week." Dean said, kissing Seamus' head, the other teenager snorted, Dean promised that on pretty much a daily basis.

"You're gonna kill the rest of us too." Ron grumbled.

Dean sighed and took a drag on his cigarette, moving to blow it out into Ron's face, "Shush your whining child." He said making Harry laugh.

"You guys have a good summer?" Harry asked Seamus and Dean as Dean sat back down.

"Hmm, was alright." Seamus shrugged, "Best part was when Dean's dad let me go on holiday to Italy with them. That was so cool, it was the most amazing place ever… And the architecture… God, so brilliant."

Harry smiled, "Careful, you almost sounded clever for a second there…" He teased.

"Would have been a better holiday if my dad hadn't bought his stupid bimbo along." Dean grumbled and Seamus moved to hug him.

"They've been together three years now Dean, you're going to have to get used to her at some point." Neville pointed out, earning himself a scowl.

Ron moved towards the door, "Party downstairs." He reminded the others, "You coming?"

"Yeah!" They grinned almost simultaneously, jumping up.

Dean stubbed his cigarette out on the windowsill quickly and they all went downstairs. Hermione was sat curled up on one of the sofa's, ignoring everyone and everything and Harry frowned, glancing at Ron who was looking devastated, Hermione had broken up with him pretty much straight after he'd told her about his kiss with Lavender, "I'm just gonna go…" Harry trailed off.

"Yeah." Ron said gently and Harry frowned even more but gave a small smile as Neville grabbed Ron's arm and grinned at Harry before pulling Ron away, trying to distract the red head.

Harry walked over to Hermione and sat down next to her, "Hey." He said gently.

"Hi." Hermione mumbled, rubbing at her nose.

"You okay?" Harry asked gently, snorting slightly, "Sorry, dumb question."

Hermione shrugged, "I really don't know… It's like… Someone pulled the plug on everything."

"Yeah… That makes sense." Harry said quietly.

Hermione looked up as him, "Why would he kiss her Harry? Why would he kiss someone else?" She asked, tears in her eyes.

"He was pretty drunk 'Mione, which isn't really an excuse I know but… And he has a lot of problems at home. You've been pretty busy these holidays, what with finding out about me and my life and then spending time with your parents. I think Ron missed you, missed talking to you. He didn't feel he could talk to me cause I've been so tied up…"

"If he needed to talk he could have asked me!" Hermione snapped.

Harry chuckled, "I know, but you know what Ron's like. Stubborn git."

Hermione managed a small grin, "Yeah, That's true."

"Talk to him Mione. I'm not asking you to forgive him or anything but… Just talk to him, for me?"

Hermione looked across the room, to where Ron was moping next to the table of food, "Okay." She said quietly, pulling her feet out from under her and standing up, kissing Harry's cheek before walking over to Ron. Harry grinned to himself as he leant back against the sofa, watching as Hermione took Ron's arm and led him up the stairs to the dorms.

_**.~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~.**_

"Where we going Harry?" Dean mumbled as Harry dragged him down the corridor.

"We're going to see Remus so I can hug him!" Harry said, pulling Dean's arm before letting go as he nearly crashed into a suit of armour. "Harreeee, it's past curfew!" Dean said, "Plus Proff Lupin'll put in detention for being pissed."

"I'm not pissed." Harry replied, vaguely aware he was slurring.

"Oh puh-lease, you're well drunk." Dean giggled, "Come on! Let's go back to the dorms…" He added, wandering off in the direction of the Gryffindor tower.

Harry pouted to himself before, for some unknown reason, kissing the suit of armour on the cheek, "What are you doing?" Asked an amused voice from behind him.

"Kissing Mfi." Harry mumbled, turning around and smiling blindingly as he saw Joshua Grosen, from the year below him.

"Is Mfi the armour?" Joshua asked with a small grin.

Harry shrugged, "Probly." He agreed, nodding a lot.

Joshua laughed, "We should probably get you back to the common room before a professor catches you." He said, "Otherwise you'll be in detention forever."

"Wha you doing out of the room anyway?" Harry asked, letting Joshua take his arm and lead him back along the corridor.

"Just wanted air." Joshua said quietly and Harry could tell there was more to it but his brain felt a bit too tired to care at that moment… plus this Joshua guy looked kinda cute.

"You wanna kiss?"

"Kiss?" Joshua repeated blankly.

"Yeah, you know, kissing…" Harry stopped and looked at Joshua properly.

The younger teenager laughed, "You're drunk… And… And you're Harry Potter! You're not gay…"

"Shush, don't tell people!" Harry said, leaning forwards and pressing his lips to Joshua's. The other boy gave a squeak but his lips parted as Harry's tongue probed at them.

Harry's hands moved around, clutching at Joshua's hips before he suddenly jerked away, "Wha -" Joshua was cut off as Harry moved away quickly and promptly vomited, "Oh… Sexy!" Joshua muttered, pulling a face and spelling the sick away, "Come on, sooner we get you back to the common room the better." He added, taking Harry's arm again but keeping his distance slightly.

Harry groaned, "Eww… Sorry." He mumbled, "Now you hate me!" He added, wondering why he was even bothering.

"I don't hate you." Joshua said patiently, although he seemed less amused by now.

"You wont kiss me though."

Joshua finally laughed, "Not right now, no." He said gently, "Maybe when you've brushed your teeth." He added, saying the Gryffindor password as they approached the portrait hole.

"Harry!" Ron yelled, running over with Hermione, "We were wondering where you went."

"This is Joshie… He's my friend and he kisses nice." Harry said with a grin.

Joshua rolled his eyes, "He's been sick." He told them.

"Lovely. Come on, let's get you upstairs." Hermione said, wrapping her arm around Harry, "Thank you Joshua."

"'S cool. Maybe I'll see you tomorrow Harry and… Well you kiss nice too." Josh said with an embarrassed grin making Harry burst into giggles. Joshua laughed, "Laters." He said, walking off over to his friends.

"Come on drunkard." Ron said and he and Hermione took Harry up to the dorm.

"I kissed Malfi." Harry mumbled as they put him into bed, pulling his shoes off for him.

Ron frowned, "Malfi? Malfoy?" He squeaked.

"Not really… Was an armour but I wanted…" Harry trailed off sleepily, giving a yawn and cosing his eyes, not noticing Ron and Hermione exchange stunned looks.

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	32. Friendship

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_**Friendship.**_

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"Ouchie." Harry mumbled as he woke up, "Fuck my head hurts!"

"Not surprised with the amount you drank!" Neville chuckled from where he was pulling his robes on.

Harry winced, "What time is it?" He asked, rummaging through his bedside cupboard in an attempt to find a cure for the pounding in his head.

"Quarter to eight." Neville said, picking up his bag.

"You were gonna let me sleep in?" Harry frowned.

"I said I'd wake you up when I was done in the shower." Ron explained from the bathroom doorway as he walked out, he moved over to Harry and handed the boy a hangover potion, "Here. See you later Nev."

Neville frowned slightly at the obvious dismissal but shrugged, leaving the dorm, "Thanks." Harry mumbled, drinking the potion and giving a sigh of relief as his headache slowly vanished.

"Good night last night huh?" Ron said, drying his hair with a towel.

"Yea, well what I remember of it!" Harry chuckled, climbing out of bed and opening his trunk to find clean clothes.

"So you don't remember wandering off with Joshua Grosen?" Ron asked, turning away as Harry started to get changed.

Harry frowned before wincing, "Oh shit… Josh… I vaguely recall sticking my tongue down his throat before pulling away to puke."

"He bought you back to the common room after that." Ron said, watching Harry strangely as the teenager pulled his shirt on, "You umm… You said you'd kissed a suit of amour because you thought it was Malfoy?" Ron said finally.

Harry froze, the colour draining from his face, "I did?" He croaked finally, "No, no, I think you must have misheard, I said Mifi… Mifi's a… Muggle pop star." He tried desperately; Ron simply raised an eyebrow and shook his head in disgust. "Look Ron… I, It's just…"

"Gross, I mean firstly he's Malfoy for fuck's sake! Malfoy! And I don't care whether he's different now and Sirius and Lupin's kid, He's still Malfoy! But apart from that he's dating Nev"

"I KNOW!" Harry yelled, "Which is why nothing has, or will, happen. It's just a stupid crush, it'll pass." He added angrily and Ron frowned.

Finally the red head gave a nod, "Okay… Well… If you want to talk about it… I'm sure Mione'll be more than understanding." He said making Harry snort. "Come on." Ron said, "We should get to breakfast."

"You're not mad at me?" Harry whispered.

"No, a bit freaked out and mildly disgusted yes but mad? Of course not." Ron smiled, bunching up his towel and throwing it at Harry's head.

Harry frowned suddenly, "Are you and 'Mione back together then?" He asked.

Ron grinned, "Yeah, yeah we are." He said, his eyes lighting up. "Now come on or we'll miss them handing out timetables." Harry smiled back at his friend and grabbed his bag, pulling it over his head and following Ron down to the Great Hall for breakfast.

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"Drake are you okay?" Pansy asked with a small frown, wrapping her arm around the boy in an attempt to stop him sliding even further down the bench.

"I'm fine, I have a headache that's all."

"Another one?" Blaise asked.

Draco gave a small groan, "Honestly? Same one as yesterday. It won't budge."

"You should go to Madame Pomfrey, Babe." Pansy said, stroking Draco's hair and smirking at Goyle who grunted and looked away.

"It's fine, it'll pass." Draco said quietly, picking up his glass of water and sipping it.

"Potter looks happy about something." Blaise noted, watching as Harry and Ron walked in laughing together.

Crabbe snorted, "We'll soon sort that." He smirked, jabbing at Goyle who chuckled. Blaise pulled a face and looked at Draco who was watching Harry blankly. "Oi Draco?" Crabbe said.

"Huh?"

"What we gonna do to Potter this year?" Goyle asked.

Draco shrugged, "Whatever, I really don't care." He mumbled, resting his head on the table before jumping as he felt a hand on his shoulder.

"Draco's got a headache, he's had it since yesterday." He heard Blaise say and moved, looking up to find Severus stood there, looking at him worriedly.

"Right, hospital wing. Now." Severus said, his voice leaving no room for argument, not that Draco really felt up to arguing right now anyway. He let his godfather help him up and from the room, vaguely aware of Remus, Neville, Harry and even Dumbledore watching them as they left. Sure enough, Draco had only been in the hospital wing for approximately four minutes before the old coot arrived, "Everything all right?"

"Draco has a headache." Severus replied as Madame Pomfrey bustled around, "I'm sure it's nothing serious."

The Medi-witch handed Draco a vial of pain relief, "He has a mild temperature so I'll keep him in today. Seems to me you are rather dehydrated young man, you need to drink more."

"Thought professor's told us not to drink." Draco jibed but his usual energy wasn't in it.

"I hope you feel better soon Mr Malfoy." Dumbledore murmured, turning and leaving.

Severus sat down in one of the seats as Madame Pomfrey helped Draco get into a bed and gave him a large glass of water, "He'll be okay though?" Severus questioned the woman.

"He'll be fine." She smiled, looking at Draco, "You do need to take better care of yourself though, that bout of flu you had last year is still affecting your body."

Draco gave a small nod, "I have to stay here today?" He asked.

"Maybe I'll let you go at lunch time if the headache's cleared a bit and your temperature's dropped. How's the pain relief working?"

"Not very well." Draco admitted.

"Try to get some sleep." Severus said gently, squeezing his godson's shoulder, "I have to get to a class but I'll come and see how you're doing later." Draco gave a small nod, wincing as it hurt his head. Severus headed out of the hospital wing, on his way down to the dungeons.

He wasn't surprised to bump into Remus in the corridor; the man was walking with McGonagall. "I heard Draco was unwell?" Remus enquired, keeping his voice light and casual.

"Simply a headache, he will be fine." Severus replied, making his own voice cold before he stalked away.

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Sirius smiled as Lily handed him a bottle of muggle beer, "You boys behave okay." She said with a small grin, leaning over to kiss James before picking up her coat and leaving, heading to her friend's house for the evening.

"Glad to be home?" Sirius asked James as the man leaned back in the chair and swigged his beer.

"Yeah." James smiled, "I mean, don't get me wrong, I enjoyed being with everyone but…" He trailed off and shrugged, "It's good to be home."

Sirius nodded, "Thanks… For letting me come with you."

"Don't be stupid, we're happy to have you." James said, "It's good to have you back Pads… I mean, I know I didn't miss you as such when I was living here because I didn't remember you but… It was always like I was missing something, my best mate." He chuckled awkwardly.

"I really missed you too." Sirius mumbled and they both drank some more beer before James quickly turned on the TV, flicking over to the baseball.

"So how are you and Remus?" James asked after a while.

"Huh?"

"Well… You said that all you seemed to be doing was arguing. And that you weren't sure if you could get through this but then… Then you just stopped talking to me about it and instead kept vanishing off…" James shrugged, a hint of bitterness in his voice.

Sirius bit at his lip, "I… It just kind of sorted itself out." He said quietly.

"With Severus and Lucius' help?" James sneered before wincing, "Sorry, I didn't mean… I'm glad you figured it out." He muttered.

"I'm sorry." Sirius whispered, "God, I'm an ass." He added, looking at James apologetically, "I really didn't mean to push you away."

James shrugged, "S'okay." He said.

"No it's not." Sirius argued, "It's selfish… I was only trying to sort my life out, I haven't even asked how you are in ages and… Christ you didn't even feel you could tell me about… about the baby thing. I'm sorry."

"I didn't tell you about the baby thing; it wasn't because I didn't trust you… It's not the easiest thing to bring up..." James murmured, staring at the TV.

Sirius pulled a slight face, "How… How are you coping?"

James shrugged, "It's been part of my life for a while… The doctors, they tested me and Lil, they can't figure out what's causing it. We… The two who were stillborn, we named them… We buried them…" He trailed off, his voice breaking. Sirius moved and held his friend tightly. "We agreed no more… But…"

"You really want a kid?" Sirius asked, "What about… About adoption?"

"We've talked about it but Lily really wanted one of her own." James whispered, "I just don't know Sirius, I don't think our marriage could survive going through it again… Being back in the wizarding world gives us a better chance but… It's a big decision."

Sirius nodded, "You know you can talk to me." He murmured, "But equally, if you and Lily need some space just let me know, I can go back to the manor for a bit."

James smiled, "Thanks Si, you're a good friend. Even if you do occasionally abandon me to have some mad foursome with Sev, Luc and Rem." He chuckled, frowning as Sirius turned white, "Joking…"

"Right, right," Sirius nodded quickly, swigging his beer. James stared at him for a while shrugging to himself and turning back to the baseball.

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Harry dropped onto one of the sofa's in the room of requirement and pulled out a book, they had all agreed to meet up there but to cause less suspicion they were all arriving fifteen to twenty minutes apart. Which was why he was surprised when, five minutes later, the door opened and Draco walked in. "This place is really cool." The blonde said, looking around, "And you can make it look like anything?"

"Uh yeah…" Harry frowned, "What…"

"Oh, I was sick of people asking if I was okay, said I was going for a walk." Draco shrugged.

Harry chuckled, "Umm… Are you? Okay I mean."

"I'm fine, it was just a headache, the past few months finally caught up with me I guess." Draco said quietly, "I… I had flu pretty bad last summer, it means I still get tired and headachy pretty easy." He added.

"But you're okay now?" Harry asked, closing his book and smiling as Draco sat down next to him.

"I'm fine." Draco said again, smiling back. "Have a good night last night?" Draco asked, frowning as Harry flushed red.

"Wha – What?"

"First night back, it's always a rave. If I hadn't been feeling so crappy I'd have probably got smashed." Draco grinned.

Harry gave a small awkward grin, "Made a friend, nearly puked on him… Kissed a suit of armour. The usual." He shrugged and Draco laughed loudly.

"Wish I could have seen that." He chuckled.

Harry flushed even more, "Wasn't my finest moment." He said, embarrassed.

"Oh I don't know, there's something quite cute about a guy snogging inanimate objects." Draco grinned, laughing as Harry hit him with a cushion.

"Like you've never done anything stupid whilst drunk." Harry grumbled.

Draco laughed, "You have no idea." He said, picking up the book Harry had put down and looking at the cover, "Any good?" He asked as he read the back.

"It's pretty decent." Harry nodded, "You can borrow it when I'm done if you want."

"Cool, ta." Draco smiled before giving a small yawn. "Merlin I'm tired." He mumbled.

Harry gave him a small smile, "Well Remus wont be here for another twenty minutes or so, and neither will anyone else. Have a quick nap." He said.

"Yeah, yeah I think I will." Draco smiled and, to Harry's surprise, suddenly lay down, his head in Harry's lap. Harry gave a small frown before taking his book off Draco and opening it again, glancing down as Draco's eyes closed. Harry smiled to himself and began to read his book, his free hand moving to stroke at Draco's hair without him really noticing.

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	33. Helpful

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**Helpful.**

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Harry wrapped his arms around his body, sniffing as he tried desperately to stop the tears. Slowly he raised his hand to the pendant around his neck and clutched it tightly. "Lucius Malfoy." He whispered, "Lucius Malfoy… Dad… Please, I need you." Harry said, unable to stop the sobs that shook his body as he continued to clutch the pendant and whisper desperately, "Please, please daddy." He didn't know how long he was sat there, curled up in the corner, but suddenly he felt strong, calming, arms wrap around him.

"It's okay, it's okay." Severus murmured, cuddling Harry. Harry turned and held his dad close, sobbing into the man's chest. Severus said nothing more, simply holding Harry tightly until the boy had calmed down.

"How did… How did you…" Harry trailed off, swiping at his eyes.

"Luc flooed me, I came straight here." Severus said, motioning to the room of requirement, "Because I thought it's where you might be. Remus went to summon your map though, to make sure we found you, sorry if you didn't want him involved, I just thought it was best to find you as soon as possible."

"S'okay." Harry muttered, his voice breaking again.

"Do you want to talk about it?" Severus asked gently, stroking Harry's hair and moving the boy so that they were both more comfortable, he gave a small frown and a sigh when he noticed the small streak of blood on Harry's sleeve. "Is it healed?" He asked quietly.

"Kinda." Harry mumbled "Wasn't deep anyway." He added before beginning to cry again.

"Shh, come on kid, it's okay." Severus murmured, looking up as the door opened and Remus came in, carrying mugs of hot chocolate.

"I checked the map, couldn't find either of you so figured you were definitely in here. I got hot chocolate." The man said quietly, "If it'll help." He added, handing Harry one of the mugs and looking at Severus over the boy's head before mouthing 'Calming potion'. Severus nodded thankfully, knowing that Harry really needed it the state he was in.

"Wha… What time is it?" Harry managed to mumble out, wiping at his eyes again before sipping his drink.

"About two in the morning." Severus said quietly, shifting again as his knees complained about the contact with the hard floor.

Harry took a shaky breathe, "Sorry." He mumbled.

"Don't apologise, don't ever apologise." Severus said gently, "Come on, how about we move to the sofa's?" He offered and Harry looked up in surprise, Remus or Severus must have asked the room for them since they hadn't been there when Harry had first come in. Harry let Severus help him to his feet and over to the sofa letting the man hold him tightly again. "What happened?" Severus asked as Remus sat down opposite them.

"I had a bad day." Harry muttered, "But I was coping, kinda… Then I had a dream about Vernon… But even then I managed to push it away, go back to sleep, which is when the visions started." Harry mumbled.

Severus froze, his hand tightening almost painfully on Harry's shoulder, "Are you sure they were visions?" He asked quickly, "Absolutely sure because you shouldn't be having those anymore. I thought we'd stopped them."

Harry frowned and gave a small shrug, "I dunno… It seemed like a vision… But… But Dad was there, he was hurt..."

"Lucius is fine Harry, trust me, I spoke to him." Severus soothed, relaxing now, "I think what you saw was a memory of a previous vision, Lucius was asleep when he received your call and he would have told me if he'd been called by the Dark Lord or hurt at all." He murmured, helping Harry sit properly so that he could drink some more of his hot chocolate.

"I… I wanted to cut, but I couldn't even do it properly, I wasn't doing it deep…" Harry trailed off, "I… It wasn't enough, I wanted to… Then I remembered what Dad had said about having to call him first, promising to call him if I felt like… I didn't want to break that promise."

Severus' jaw dropped as he realised that Harry had been seriously contemplating suicide. And Lucius had made the boy promise to call him if he ever felt like killing himself? Why hadn't he mentioned this to Severus? "You're okay, You're safe." Severus murmured, "Umm… Do you… Do you still feel like…?" He trailed off awkwardly.

Harry gave a small shrug, "Yeah, not so much though." He added finally when Severus continued to watch him closely.

"Okay… How would you feel about taking a mild charming potion? It's designed to balance your hormones which should help with the emotions, at least a little." Severus offered gently, pulling one out of his pocket and ignoring Remus' surprised look.

"I… Okay." Harry nodded, just wanting it all to stop; he took the potion off Severus and swallowed it. They were all quiet for a while, Severus holding Harry tightly as they sat on the sofa.

"Do you… Do you want to talk about your day?" Remus asked after a while, "You said it wasn't a good day so… Well maybe talking about it would help."

Severus nodded his agreement, "Sometimes something seems so big in your mind but when you talk about it, and get other people's help and support, it can seem less scary." He murmured.

Harry gave a small sniff, "I… I didn't finish an essay for McGonagall so she was mad at me." He muttered, "And normally that's fine and whatever but it was just the start of a crappy day… Me and Nev rowed, or rather Nev rowed and I stood there stupidly."

Severus frowned, "Wha…" He started before trailing off, not wanting to push Harry too far.

"The other night, when we all met up in the room of requirement, me and Drake got there before everyone else but Drake was still tired from being in the hospital wing, so he fell asleep, his head was on my lap and when Nev walked in and saw he got really upset."

"Because Draco fell asleep on you?" Remus asked, mildly confused, although now understanding why there had been so much tension in the room of requirements when he had arrived there on Wednesday night.

"Yeah… Neville came up to me today and pretty much told me to stay away from Draco, he thinks I'm trying to nick him… He… He… He called me a whore." Harry whispered and the two men froze, "I… I can handle people getting all jealous, handle them thinking I'm gonna screw their boyfriends but… That word…" He trailed off, swiping at his eyes again, "He's right."

"No, no he's not. Neville had no right to say that, no right to talk to you like that. If he's having issues with his relationship then he should have talked to Draco." Remus said angrily.

"My Uncle… He used to call me that." Harry mumbled blankly, barely taking in what Remus had said.

Severus tightened his grip on his son, "Your Uncle is sick Harry, what happened, what he did, it wasn't your fault and it never will be." He said for what seemed like the thousandth time since they'd found out about the rape.

Harry sniffed and wiped his nose on his sleeve, snorting as Remus handed him a handkerchief, "Sorry." Harry muttered, blowing his nose. "I… I haven't done my Potions essay yet." He whispered suddenly.

"The one due in tomorrow?" Severus asked with a raised eyebrow.

"Yeah, I've just been so… Busy." Harry shrugged, "I'm really sorry."

Severus nodded, "It's okay, things have been a bit hectic lately. I'll have to give you a detention for it to keep up appearances but… Well I can help you with the essay during detention." He said gently, "Now how are you feeling?"

"Better… A little stupid." Harry said quietly, looking away, "I should have known it wasn't a real vision." He added.

"Harry, of course you thought it was a vision, you've had so many of them! And you weren't to know that Lucius was safe, the only reason I did was because I'd spoken to him." Severus soothed.

"Sorry I woke you up."

"Harry, we would have been much more upset had you not woken us." Remus smiled softly, glad when Harry gave him a small smile in reply.

Harry gave a small yawn and rubbed his hand over his face, "You sure you feel better though?" Severus persisted, "You're not going to go and… Harm yourself?"

"I… Not right now no, the potion helped and… Well I think having you here and knowing everyone's safe… I can't promise I won't cut again but it won't be now." Harry mumbled, his cheeks flushed.

"Good." Severus nodded, "Do you think you'll be able to go back to sleep if you head to bed? Only you look shattered…" Severus added as Harry tried to hide a yawn.

Harry gave a small nod, "I think so." He said, "I'm kinda used to this waking up thingy…"

Remus smiled and pulled the marauders map from his pocket, handing it to Harry, "Try not to get caught on your way up." He said.

"I've got the cloak." Harry shrugged, moving off the sofa and picking it up off the floor.

"Are you sure you're okay?" Severus asked with a small frown.

Harry gave a nod, "Yeah… It's okay. I'm okay."

"Right…" Severus said, not sure if he believed the boy, "Well… we'll talk to you tomorrow, properly. And if you need anything, please, please call us." He begged his son.

"Okay," Harry nodded, "I promise." He added when Severus continued to watch him worriedly.

"We can walk you up to the Dorm if you want?" Remus offered.

"Umm… No, it's okay." Harry said, opening the marauders map and scanning it, a sudden smile crossing his face before he closed it again. "I'll see you tomorrow and… Well thanks." Harry said.

"Can I just… Can I check your arm? Just for my sake really." Severus asked quietly. Harry sighed but pulled his sleeve up, proving that the cuts he had made had already stopped bleeding and scabbed over slightly, "Thank you." Severus murmured, standing up and pulling Harry into a hug. "Goodnight."

"Night dad… Night Rem." Harry mumbled, letting Remus give him a quick hug to, then he pulled his invisibility cloak around himself and leaving the room.

Severus sank back down onto the sofa, running his hand over his face, Remus sat next to him. "Bloody hell." Severus muttered finally.

"He'll be okay." Remus murmured, running his hand over Severus' knee. "Sev… Why are you carrying charming potions around with you?" He asked quietly.

"I grabbed one on the way out of my rooms; figured Harry could do with one." Severus said smoothly, ignoring Remus' suspicious look. "We should probably head back and try to get some sleep." Severus added, he leant up and awkwardly kissed Remus on the lips. Remus smiled, they hadn't touched each other since getting back to Hogwarts and he'd been worried that what they'd had at the manor, with Sirius and Lucius, would stop because they were all split up. Remus kissed Severus back, letting his tongue slide over the man's lips.

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Harry stopped in the corridor, folding up the marauders map and shoving it in his pocket before pulling his invisibility cloak off, "You know it's against the rules to be out of dorms out of hours." He said quietly, grinning as the boy stood by the window jumped and spun around.

"Jesus! Where did you come from?" Joshua Grosen yelped.

"Not quite Jesus." Harry laughed, "Why is it that every time I bump into you we're both breaking the rules?" He added with a small smile, "Whatcha doing here?"

Josh let out a huff of air, "Needed some space, but thought it was best not to disturb the couple in the common room." He added with a laugh, "You visiting you boyfriend?"

Harry frowned, "My…" He trailed off as he realized that Joshua was looking deliberately at the suit of amour next to him, "Oh hah ha!" Harry laughed, giving the boy a small shove and making him laugh.

"Shhh." Josh said suddenly and they both winced as the heard Filch's voice.

"Here." Harry hissed, draping the invisibility cloak over them both and pulling Joshua right back against the wall, "Invisibility cloak." He explained quietly, managing a small smile as Joshua grinned and clutched his arm. They stayed as quiet and still as possible as they watched Filch walk past, the man seemed to look right at them for a second and Joshua's grip on Harry's arm tightened slightly as Harry bit at his lip, hoping they wouldn't get caught, the last thing he needed right now was a bunch of detentions. But finally they were free and Filch left, "Fuck, that was close." Joshua whispered, seemingly impossibly close to Harry. "Where'd you get the cloak from?"

"It was my dad's." Harry replied, his voice catching slightly as Josh smiled at him.

"Harry…" Josh whispered, still shaking slightly with the excitement of nearly being caught.

"Josh?" Harry replied before giving a small squeak as the other boy leant forwards and kissed him.

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_**Please leave a review to let me know what you think :)**_

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	34. Disagreement

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_**Disagreement.**_

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"Oh good. I hoped you might be here." Severus said, looking closely at James and Lily.

"We did say we were coming back to the manor today, you and Rem are coming over for dinner this evening." Lily reminded the man.

"Yes I know, I just hadn't expected you to be over so early." Severus said, glancing at Sirius who was fast asleep on the sofa.

James smirked, "Pads wasn't exactly happy." He said, frowning when Severus didn't laugh, "Is everything okay?"

Severus pursed his lips, "Not really, no." He said quietly, "Harry was pretty upset last night."

"Is he okay now?" James asked worriedly, he'd come to care for the boy quite a lot.

Severus gave a short nod, followed by a "I hope so anyway, we did what we could but he was… Well he was contemplating suicide actually." He said sharply.

Lily blinked, "What the hell happened to upset him?"

"Neville." Lucius said from the doorway, Severus had filled him in the night before.

"Huh?"

"Neville and Harry had a row, or rather, as Harry said, Neville rowed, Harry stared."

James sank onto the sofa, "What did they row about?" He asked, hoping it was some stupid teenage thing.

"Draco." Severus replied, also sitting down, "He was unwell on the first day of term and ended up asleep on Harry's lap. Neville wasn't too happy when he found them… That is understandable I suppose." He added as Lily opened her mouth, "However he said some pretty nasty things to Harry, including calling him a whore which… Well that's what Vernon called him."

James clenched his teeth, "Neville said that, he called Harry that?" He asked angrily, and upon receiving a nod in reply he scowled even more, his handsome face twisting bitterly, "Oh we are going to be having serious words with that boy."

"Don't be too hard on him." Lucius said from where he was still stood by the doorway, earning himself a part surprised, part furious look from Severus, "I doubt Neville meant to hurt Harry as much as he actually did, he probably didn't even realise the significance of the word." Severus had to admit that was probably right.

"Still…" Lily said, "He should know better than to take his frustrations on others, if he has jealousy issues about Draco then he shouldn't be yelling at Harry."

"Actually Neville's insecurities aren't far off." Came Sirius' voice and they all turned towards him, watching as he sat up and rubbed his eyes.

"What?" Lily asked in confusion.

Sirius sighed, "Harry and Draco are… Well there's a mutual attraction and a hell of a lot of chemistry between them. I'm pretty sure nothing will ever come of it, Harry is certain that that is the case and that it will pass. It doesn't seem to be a big deal to either of them, as far as I know neither of them has acted on it, it's just one of those things… However if Neville picked up on this attraction and then found Draco asleep on Harry's lap then… It doesn't excuse what he said." Sirius added quietly, "But it does explain it."

"How come you never mentioned this?" Lucius asked crossly, his expression mirrored by James and Lily.

Sirius shrugged, "Like I said, it doesn't seem to matter to Harry and Draco so why should it matter to me? Harry told me it would be over soon enough anyway and that he'd find someone else to be attracted to and… Well I agree with him, the kid tends to flit when it comes to crushes. I honestly didn't view it as a big deal but I'm sorry if you feel that I should have told you." Sirius murmured.

"It's okay Siri… We'll, we'll have a chat with Nev anyway, to check how he's doing and remind him not to treat his friends so badly." Lily said.

Severus nodded, "I have to get back to the school, no doubt Albus has already realized I am absent, it's why I went via Malfoy Manor, in case he tried to track me." Severus added, smiling at Lucius who grinned back, kissing him gently. Severus turned and, as James and Lily were momentarily distracted, winked at Sirius who grinned back. Then Severus said his goodbye's and quickly flooed to Malfoy Manor, pausing to exchange pleasantries with Narcissa before flooing back to Hogwarts.

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Remus looked up as the door opened, "Good morning Mr. Longbottom." He said calmly as Neville walked in with Susan Bones at his side, he tried to push away the small feeling of glee when he saw a huge bruise forming on Neville's cheekbone, the boy must have had his reasons for what he had said to Harry and, he was after all still only a boy. Remus felt disgusted at himself, feeling happy because Lily and James' son had been hit, what sort of a person did that make him? "Mr. Longbottom, a word please." Remus said as more pupils came in.

Neville stood up and walked to the front of the class, a strange expression on his face, "Proffessor?"

"What happened to your face?" Remus asked quietly, wondering if it had been Harry, surely the boy would have mentioned it? Draco then… It seemed unlikely however that Harry would have told Draco what had happened, also unlikely for Draco to react like that.

"I had a… Disagreement with Ron." Neville mumbled, watching Remus closely, obviously wondering if the man knew what he had said to Harry. Ah, Ron, he should have known.

"Very well, do go to the Hospital Wing and get some anti-bruising cream after class." Remus said quietly, choosing to say nothing else. This was between Neville and Harry.

"Yes Professor." Neville said, moving back to his chair. Remus watched as Harry and Ron walked in, Harry glanced at Neville who gave him a desperate look but then Ron tugged on Harry's sleeve and pulled him over to the back of the class, as far away from Neville as possible. Neville flinched as Ron gave him a filthy look. Remus rose and went to the back of the class as more students piled in, he opened the cupboard and began to search for the objects he wanted. Okay so he probably didn't need them but he wanted to hear what Ron and Harry were saying, was that so wrong? "So this Josh guy? What exactly happened?" Ron was asking quietly and Remus could hear a hint of disapproval in his voice.

"I didn't fuck him if that's what you're wondering!" Harry hissed and Remus suddenly rethought his eavesdropping plan, this wasn't really a conversation he wanted to hear, "We just… He kissed me, so I kissed back and then… Well we got off… hands." Harry explained with a mumble, his cheeks flushed, "He wants to see me again…But I dunno, he's nice Ron but I don't do that, I don't do long term things. I'd fuck it up."

Ron frowned slightly, "Maybe you should meet up again, just to see. You've never tried a relationship that lasts longer than a week Harry. Plus it might help you get over your other… Problem."

Harry bit at his lip, "I… I dunno. I guess -" He was cut off as Hermione came in and sat down at the desk next to them, "Morning 'Mione."

"Hey, how are you feeling?"

"Oh he's fine, had a rather nice make out session with his little friend Josh last night." Ron smirked and Harry turned crimson.

"Josh? Is that the one who -"

"Bought him back to the dorm on the first day back… The one who, as Harry puts it, 'kisses nice'."

"Shut up!" Harry scowled but he was trying not to laugh as Hermione giggled. The bushy haired girl looked up then and caught Remus' eye, he winced and quickly turned away, grabbing what he wanted and quickly going to the front of the class to begin the lesson. After setting them some much needed reading work, well they couldn't have practical lesson's all the time!, Remus settled back in his chair, reading over some second year essays, he frowned when he noticed that Ron, Harry and Hermione weren't reading. Of course he understood that they wanted to talk, needed to talk, but Harry was already falling behind in lessons and they hadn't even been back at school long. Remus cleared his throat loudly as he watched Hermione grin at something and jab Harry in the ribs, the three looked up guiltily whilst the rest of the class looked confused. "Is there a problem with the chapter Miss Granger?" Remus asked in his best professor voice.

Hermione flushed red, "No sir." She mumbled, quickly turning back to her book.

Remus stood up and gave the rest of the class a small nod, gesturing at them to get back to their work, he walked to the back of the class and stood behind Harry and Ron's desk, watching as they quickly began to read, "Stay after class please, the three of you." Remus said quietly before heading back to his desk. Later, as the rest of the class filed out, Harry, Ron and Hermione approached Remus' desk.

"I'm sorry Professor Lupin." Hermione murmured, her cheeks flushed.

Remus raised a slight eyebrow, "I'm glad that you can talk and have fun." He said warmly, looking directly at Harry before turning and flicking his wand to shut and lock the door, "However there is a time and a place. Harry you're already falling behind with your schoolwork…"

"I know. I just -"

"So you'll keep your private conversations out of my classroom in future?" Remus interrupted, trying to look stern but unable to hide his amusement at how guilty the three looked.

Ron nodded jerkily, "We will."

"Good, because this stuff I'm teaching you, it is important." Again he looked directly at Harry, "More than you may think right now."

Harry frown but nodded, "It won't happen again Sir." He said quietly and Remus smiled.

"Good. Now… How are you feeling?"

Harry sighed, "I'm fine, really, last night was just… Bad." He shrugged and Ron snorted, "Oh shut up!" Harry hissed. Remus gave an amused smirk but said nothing, knowing Harry would be embarrassed if he admitted to overhearing their earlier conversation, he ignored Hermione's knowing look.

"You feel better now though?" Remus persisted.

Harry rolled his eyes, "Yes!" He exclaimed, wincing as Remus raised an eyebrow, "Sorry." The teenager mumbled.

"Right, you have potions next right?" Remus asked.

"Yup." Harry grumbled, knowing he'd get interrogated about his feelings by Severus too.

"Good, make any progress on that essay?"

Harry shook his head, "I didn't get into the dorm till late." He admitted, his cheeks flushed, this made Ron snort again.

"Oh well, I'm sure Sev will be able to help you." Remus murmured, "You should get going actually, Oh, and could you give him this please, from me." The man added, holding out a scroll.

Harry nodded, "Sure." He said suspiciously, why didn't Remus just floo Severus?

"Thank you Harry." Remus smiled, unlocking the door and showing them out, "Oh and if I catch the thee of you talking in my class again then there will be consequences." He added seriously, much to the amusement of the fourth years gathered by the door, waiting for their class.

"Yes Sir." Harry, Ron and Hermione mumbled, their cheeks red as they rushed away, down to the dungeons.

Hermione frowned before scowling fully as Harry stopped and dragged them both into an empty room, "Harry…" She started as the teenager unraveled the scroll Remus had given him.

"Shh 'Mione, don't start." Harry snapped, "There's something odd going on with them. I want to know what." The parchment, however, was blank and Harry scowled, tapping it with his wand, "I solemnly swear I am up to no good." He tried but nothing happened, "Severus?" Nothing, "Padfoot?" Still blank and then Harry gave a small nod, "Moon." It was the password to Remus' rooms after all. Slowly writing began to appear on the parchment.

_Sev, As of this morning the floo is being watched closely. Albus notified me earlier, he summoned me just after I left your rooms, he has told most of the professor's but not you. I think he suspects you, but of what I can't be certain. Please be careful my love. Use the mirrors to contact everyone if needed, don't take any unnecessary risks. I shall see you back at the manor tonight. Much Love, Moony. xxxxx_

Harry stared at the parchment in his hands, "What the hell?"

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_**Please Review.**_

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_**Like I've said previosuly, this will be a Draco/Harry/Neville story, it just takes a while getting there, so sit tight. **_

_**There is a reason for everything and everyone.**_

_**Let me know what you think.**_

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	35. Truth

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**"It is my belief that the truth is generally preferable to lies. "**

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"Are you okay?" Draco asked, dropping onto the sofa next to Harry, "You seem kinda… Different." Harry gave a distracted nod, looking across the room to where Remus was sat with Severus, laughing about something that had happened the day before. "Harry?" Draco pushed.

Harry swallowed and took a piece of parchment out of his pocket, handing it to Draco, "Was meant to give this to dad yesterday, it was charmed so I couldn't read it." He muttered.

Draco frowned and read the parchment, nodding to himself as he did so, "Do they know you've read it?"

Harry shook his head, "Hermione made a copy and put the charms back on it." He said quietly. "Gave him that one instead."

Draco nodded, "Look. It's not what it seems okay… I thought the same as you when I found out, it's why I stormed off to my mother's that time but… It's not an affair."

Harry frowned, "You know? Know what exactly?"

"It's not just my dad and Sev… It's Lucius and Sirius too… The four of them together."

"What?" Harry breathed.

"I don't understand it exactly but… There were issues, they found each other attractive and then, finally, agreed to go for it. I think it may just be open relationships between them all or a four way relationship… I don't know, I don't want to know to be honest but, well, they're happy. Isn't that what's important?"

Harry curled his lip, looking back towards Severus and Remus, "I guess." He mumbled, "It's just a bit… Weird."

"Tell me about it." Draco snorted and Harry laughed, making the two men look up at them, Severus had a strange, worried expression on his face and Harry frowned slightly, "You going to tell them you know?" Draco asked lightly once the two men had turned back to their conversations.

"No, they'd know I'd read the letter and they'd be well pissed." Harry sighed, "Besides, if they wanted me to know they would have told me." He added bitterly.

"They only told me because my da- Lucius, knew I thought it was an affair." Draco soothed, they were both quiet for a while, sipping on the tea that Remus had bought them, "Harry… Do you know what happened to Nev's face? I did ask him when we managed to grab five minutes alone yesterday but… Well he made some shitty excuse." Draco said, watching carefully as Harry's cheeks flushed.

"I… That's really Neville's story to tell and if he doesn't want to then…" Harry trailed off apologetically, biting at his lip as all his feelings about what Neville had said came rushing back.

Draco nodded, "Okay." He said, sensing there was no point in pushing Harry. "Can I ask you something?"

"Didn't you just?" Harry smirked.

Draco rolled his eyes, looking away, "It's kind of personal and you'll probably be mad at me but… You don't have to tell me obviously and -"

"Spit it out."

"When your Uncle… Well you know… How come you never got pregnant? I mean… Did he -"

"No." Harry interrupted, looking away, his eyes clouded, "I found out in first year that men could get pregnant, I wasn't sure how old they had to be, Hermione said puberty age and I knew I wasn't quite there yet but I didn't want to take chances. I snuck into the hospital wing and nicked a whole batch of the morning after potion." Draco wrinkled his nose, knowing how sick the potion could make you feel, and the stomach cramps that accompanied it, "Yeah well… It wasn't pleasant. It wasn't until second year that I admitted to Hermione and Ron what was happening. When I'd finally managed to persuade them not to tell anyone I asked about pregnancy. Ron said there was a daily potion, a bit like the muggle pill for women Hermione pointed out, Ron had heard his mother telling Charlie about it… Anyway Hermione brewed it for me, three flasks full. Enough for the holidays."

"Blimey, that's an advanced potion."

Harry laughed, "Yeah well… She's Hermione." He said, "Anyway she did the same for me after third year too but by fourth year Seamus and Dean knew what was happening and they were together by then… Seamus was buying the potion for them, on the sly obviously since they were both underage, so I gave him enough cash to buy it for me too."

Draco nodded, "It's so stupid that the underage kids have to pay but everyone else gets it on prescription, you'd think they'd be happy to hand it out and have less underage pregnancies." He said.

"Tell me about it, I had to lend Seamus cash a few times. He wasn't happy but I think he knew he'd never survive a month or so without sex until he got the money!" Harry laughed.

"So you still take it in the summer now?" Draco asked.

"Well he didn't touch me this summer but… I take it anyway, all the time, even though I tend to be the one... Well you know. I… I know I'm probably supposed to be scared of sex, put off by it or whatever but…" Harry shrugged.

Draco frowned, "Well… I don't think there's a set of rules for how to cope with what happened to you." He murmured gently, placing his hand on Harry's knee.

Harry gave a tiny smile, "I guess not." He admitted, "I've managed to separate it in my head. See the difference in what Vernon did to what I can have with people, the difference between choosing to have sex, sex for pleasure, and being forced into it." Harry shrugged, his cheeks still flushed.

"That's good though isn't it? I mean… It's good that you can still have sex for pleasure." Draco said, flushing red when he suddenly realized that Remus and Severus were listening to their conversation.

"I guess it's better than being scared of it for the rest of my life." Harry agreed, also flushing.

Remus cleared his throat and Harry and Draco looked up quickly, "Did Neville say when he'd be here?" Remus asked quietly.

Harry shrugged, "Just that he had detention, could be anytime." He said, brushing Draco's hand off his leg quickly at the mention of Neville and causing the blonde boy to frown. "What time is it?" Harry asked.

"Half seven." Remus smiled.

"Oh, I have to head off soon." Harry said, leaning backwards into the sofa.

Draco frowned, "You avoiding Nev?"

"Why would I be avoiding Neville?" Harry asked easily.

Draco scowled, "You tell me." He grumbled, "So where are you going then?"

"Meeting a friend." Harry shrugged.

"Who?" Draco asked sharply, earning surprised looks from the others.

Harry frowned slightly, "Umm… Josh. Joshua Grosen." He said, looking confused as Draco's expression grew dark.

Remus, however, smiled, "That's great Harry. You guys are becoming good friends… Or more than friends?" The man teased, watching Draco carefully as the boy tried to school his features to look interested as opposed to hurt.

Harry chuckled, "We'll see." Was all he said, a small smile on his face.

"Grosen seems like a good kid." Severus chipped in, glad Harry seemed happy.

"He is… He's nice, he seems to care but… Well it's different to what I'm used to. We'll see… We're just friends now but.. Who knows, maybe it can become more." Harry smiled, glancing at Draco who gave him an awkward smile.

_**.~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~.**_

"So… How's Josh?" Hermione asked, a huge grin on her face as she watched Harry flop down onto his bed.

"Good." Harry smiled shyly, "Well… He umm… He asked me to Hogsmede, like on a date. Said we could go on a picnic in the fields away from the village, somewhere private."

Ron raised an eyebrow, "Sounds odd." He grumbled.

"Sounds romantic." Hermione argued.

"Sounds like he only wants to get Harry alone for one reason." Ron shot back.

Harry shook his head, "No, no I don't think so… I mean he does want sex, but well so do I so… There's more than that though, he does want to get to know me, as a person."

"Well of course he does, you're special." Hermione smiled.

"Yeah, special needs." Ron laughed, yelping as Harry tackled him to the floor.

Hermione on the other hand scowled, "Ronald! That is so offensive!" She lectured but was ignored as Harry and Ron rolled around on the floor, screaming and laughing.

"Okay…" Dean drawled as he walked into the dorm, "You guys are so mad…"

"But well sexy right?" Harry grinned, waggling his eyebrows as he tried to move away from Ron's death grip, squeaking as the red head pressed his fingers into Harry's ribs, "Stop it! You know I'm ticklish."

"Oh… So, so damn sexy." Dean laughed, sitting next to Hermione on Ron's bed.

"Where's Seamus?" Ron asked, finally letting Harry go.

Dean shrugged, "Said he was meeting some Ravenclaw friends." He said, "Sometimes I think he just needs some head space from me…" He added, sounding sad.

Hermione smiled gently, "He probably just needs to hang around with other people, have new, different, conversations, I doubt he's bored of you Dean."

"Yeah, besides if you guys spent all your time together you'd only end up killing each other!" Harry chuckled.

"True." Dean grinned, moving to the window and lighting a cigarette, ignoring Hermione's pointed look and Ron's wrinkled nose.

"What are those like?" Harry asked interestedly, moving to sit next to Dean on the windowsill.

"Harry James Potter! Don't you dare take up smoking!" Surprisingly the words came from Ron's mouth rather than Hermione's, "I mean it, if you do then I'll tell my mother!"

Harry raised an eyebrow, "Geez Ron, chill out would you? I was only asking…" He pouted, wondering when his best friend had become so uptight, then again Ron had always had some major issue with cigarettes, which was mildly amusing to Harry since the boy hadn't even known what they were until third year.

Neville walked in then sat down on his bed, flushing as everyone in the room stopped talking and stared at him. "Look Harry… I'm sorry." The boy mumbled, "I was well out of order. I honestly didn't think before talking and I didn't realise how much it would affect you."

Harry nodded, standing up and moving over to Neville, "It's okay, I know you didn't mean to hurt me so much." He said quietly, pulling the boy into a loose hug. Ron rolled his eyes at how easily Harry forgave people.

"What were you arguing about anyway?" Dean asked curiously, having only heard what Neville had said to Harry.

"Never mind now, it's in the past." Harry smiled, hating that he couldn't tell Dean the truth about his family, about Nev's family too, but knowing that the less people who knew the safer they all were. "You know what? I fancy some cake… We've got just about enough time before curfew." Harry smiled, "You guys want some?"

"Yeah, sure." Ron nodded.

"Right, well Nev and I will go get it. We'll be back soon." Harry said, taking Neville's arm and pulling him from the room.

They walked quietly to the kitchens, neither speaking until they were almost there, "I am sorry… I don't know what happened I just… I'm sorry." Neville said quietly as Harry tickled the portrait of the pear and they entered the kitchens.

"I know. It's okay… Look Nev, I understand why you freaked out. I admit, I am attracted to Draco." Harry said quietly, his cheeks flushed as he nibbled his bottom lip, "Can we have some of the cake from dinner, five slices?" He asked the house elves who gathered around them, as the elves rushed off Harry turned back to Neville, "I am attracted to him, and there's this whole sexually charged energy between us… When we're alone it takes all of me not to just shove him into a wall and bugger him senseless!" Harry burst out before realising he probably wasn't helping with Neville's insecurities, "What I'm trying to say is it doesn't matter, any of it. Draco loves you, so much, you give him things no-one else ever could. Nothing will ever happen with me and Drake because he wouldn't be able to do that to you, you mean to much to him. If I was to try anything he would shoot me down in seconds, you know that Nev!"

"He cheated on his ex…"

"Yeah…" Harry sighed, "And I think he learnt from that Nev, he wouldn't do it again. He loves you and you love him."

Neville nodded, "I know… I know that I just get so scared… This whole life, all this stuff it's bloody terrifying and Draco is the only thing that makes it seem okay." The boy sniffed, wiping at his eyes.

"Talk to him Nev, tell him what you're feeling." Harry smiled, thanking the elves as they handed over a basket filled with cake as well as some other things they'd added.

"No problem Misters Sir." A small elf grinned making Neville laugh.

Harry took his friend's arm as they left the kitchens, "Look Nev, I know I was saying Drake would shoot me down if ever I tried something, and I mean it but… Well I never would try anything, you're my friend and you love him. It would just be wrong."

"I know that Harry, thank you… And I really am sorry for reacting the way I did, for bringing up those memories."

Harry shrugged, "It's okay, really it is." He said.

Neville smiled, leaning over to press a soft kiss to Harry's cheek before heading up the stairs, calling out, "You're a good friend Harry." After him.

_**.~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~.**_

"You okay?" Sirius frowned as James hung up his phone and threw it down on the sofa.

"Hmm…"

"Jamie?" Sirius said in a sing song voice, grabbing his friend's shoulders to stop him pacing.

James swallowed, "I… I have to go to an important meeting tomorrow. I just found out that Sasha is going to be there too. Lily's going to kill me!"

"Who's Sasha?" Sirius frowned.

James bit at his lip and looked away, "I… After the second stillbirth I lost it a bit. I drank a lot and then one night I… I slept with a woman from work, Sasha Johnson."

There was utter silence for a few seconds and then, "You what? How the hell could you do that to Lily?"

"I'm not proud of it Sirius, I was a total mess… I regretted it instantly and came clean to Lily the next day, she yelled a lot and I moved out for a bit but we worked through it. I think if it weren't for the situation we had been in she would have been far less forgiving but… Well now I've got this meeting and…"

"Have you seen this Sasha woman since?" Sirius asked angrily.

James shrugged, "At work, we haven't talked, not really. I told her it was a mistake, explained about the baby, she was sympathetic, offered me a shoulder to cry on but… It would have been awkward. Then she moved away, to a different office, but now she's back and… Argh! Lily's going to be so angry, it'll bring everything back."

"Well you have to tell her. And yes it'll bring memories back but Lily's sensible, she'll understand you can't control who's in your work space Jay Jay." Sirius said softly, his anger slowly fading.

"You think? Thank you… God I wish you'd been here when we were going through all this… You could have beat some sense into me!" James gave a sad chuckle.

Sirius laughed, "Yeah, because I'm sooo sensible!" He said, pulling his friend into a loose hug.

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	36. Life

_Guess who's back? Thanks for waiting for me. _

_This is kind of a filler chapter, there will be some drama ahead but also some happiness.._

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_**Life.**_

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"Right, so we need to beat the eggs." Lily said, pulling them out of the fridge and handing them to Sirius.

"Lils… This is like the tenth lot of baking today…" Sirius sighed, "Just talk instead babes…"

Lily pursed her lips, "About what?" She snapped.

"You know what." Sirius replied, moving and taking a bottle of wine from the shelf before grabbing two glasses and pouring wine into them, handing one to Lily and leading the woman into the living room. "Talk to me Evans."

Lily sighed and stared down at her glass, "I… I forgave him, I forgive him… I do, I really do. It was a really shitty time for both of us and we'd been through so much, I wasn't there for him when he needed me and he had to turn to someone else to feel wanted, to feel loved…" A tear trickled down Lily's face, "I do love James, and forgive him for what happened but it doesn't stop it from hurting."

"Of course it doesn't Lil." Sirius murmured, "And knowing she's around probably doesn't help." He added, "But you and James will be okay Lily, I know it. Look, Jay'll be home soon, why don't I head to the manor? Then you guys can spend some time together? Talk a bit."

"Thank you Sirius." Lily whispered, hugging the man close before taking a swig of wine. "I should probably make dinner…"

Sirius snorted, "I think all the cakes we've made will be enough food for weeks!" He said, ducking as Lily aimed a swat at the back of his head. "I'll just floo Luc, see if he'll hang with me tonight, then I'll help you with dinner." Sirius promised.

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Harry laughed as Joshua did a cartwheel, landing right in front of Harry and handing him a daisy that he had somehow managed to grab during the cartwheel. "Where did you learn to do that?"

"Used to go to Gymnastics before I came to Hogwarts." The boy shrugged with a smalls mile as he sat back down next to Harry, resting his arm around Harry's shoulder.

"You're a muggle born?" Harry frowned, he hadn't thought that Josh was.

"Nah, my mum was though, and my dad actually. They thought it was good for me to do stuff like gymnastics and football, help to focus my mind or some other bullshit." He laughed. "It kind of works though, keeping focused and busy means that there's less accidental magic, I'm not sure how it works but it does."

Harry nodded, "I'm sure Hermione'd explain if I asked." He chuckled.

Josh picked up a bottle of water and sipped some before casting a quick charm to see what time it was, "We should be heading back." He murmured regretfully.

"Don't want to." Harry replied, moving to kiss the other boy, Josh chuckled against Harry's lips, kissing back as he was pushed backwards against the blanket. Harry slid his hands up Josh's shirt, resting them against the skin of the boy's back.

"God, you're gorgeous." Josh breathed, pressing several quick kisses to Harry's neck, "But we're kind of public here babe…" Harry groaned and sat up, running a hand through his hair, Josh looked at him carefully, "We could, only if you want obviously, go somewhere more private." The teenager offered shyly, "I mean I'm cool if you don't want -"

"I'd like that." Harry smiled, wondering why Josh was suddenly so nervous, hell they'd done more than just kissing in the bloody corridor the other night.

Josh gave a small smile, "I do want this to be more than just sex though." He murmured, pulling Harry to his feet.

Harry looked at him, he wasn't used to relationships that weren't purely physical but… Well Josh was nice and… "Me too." He said with a smile, gathering the blanket and food into his bag.

Josh grinned then, flashing his scarily white teeth, "Great."

They headed back to the castle hand in hand but as they got closer Harry released Josh, "Look, I do like you, a lot. But if we could keep this quiet… It's not 'cause I'm ashamed! It's just that only my close friends and a few other Gryff's know I'm gay and… Well it'll be all over the papers and everything. I just want to keep this nice, for us, for now." He tried to explain, hell even Mrs Weasley didn't know he was gay and he knew he had to tell her before the newspapers got hold of the story.

"It's okay, I get it." Josh said, "Well, kind of."

"It's not because I'm ashamed!" Harry said again, "And I'll tell Ron and Hermione and even Remus. I'd just rather not have the whole school, the whole world, on my back about it, at least for now…"

Josh nodded, "Okay." He grinned, "Although it'll be difficult to keep my hands off you." He added with a leer before frowning, "Wait, Remus isn't Professor Lupin is he?"

Harry laughed, "Yup."

"Oh god… I'm dating the Professor's unofficial god kid." Josh mumbled, covering his face with his hands and giving a small whimper.

Harry laughed again, "And he won't let you forget it!" He added, bouncing up the Castle steps, stopping as he saw Draco in the entrance hall, talking quietly to Blaise. "What do you want?" He snarled as Harry walked in.

Harry raised an eyebrow, obviously Draco had to be an arse to keep cover but today he seemed angrier than usual, "I'm minding my own business Malfoy, maybe you should try it." Harry snapped in reply, earning a snort from Josh as well as a few passing Hufflepuffs. Draco sneered at Harry before his eyes ran over Josh, his face twisting as he turned away and stalked down to the Slytherin rooms, Blaise looked worried as he followed his friend and Harry frowned slightly.

"Don't let the bastard get to you." Josh said gently as they walked up the stairs.

"Why is he so grumpy?" Harry asked, talking more to himself than to Josh.

"Because he's a prat." Josh shrugged, "He's always like that."

Harry forced a chuckle, "True." He said, dragging his mind away from Draco. "So where are we headed?" He asked.

Josh smirked, "There's a little room next to the portrait hole, it's been unused for years." He murmured, "Just here." He added, shoving open a door and pulling a face at how dusty it was. Josh quickly cast a cleaning charm before locking the door and turning to Harry with a grin.

_**.~*~*~*~.**_

Draco gave a small smile as Neville pressed a soft kiss to his lips, "I've missed you." The blonde murmured gently, running his hand through Neville's hair. "Your face is healing." He added quietly, running his finger over the bruise, "Although why you didn't just go and get some anti-bruising cream I don't know…"

"I deserved it." Neville muttered and Draco simply looked at him before shrugging. Neville had told him everything that had happened between him and Harry, Draco had been angry at first but he did understand Neville's insecurities, and so they had had a long chat about how Draco loved Neville and promised not to hurt him. Neville gave a slight frown as Draco held him tighter, "Is everything okay?" Neville asked gently.

"Had a row with Pansy." Draco muttered. "She found out that I slept with Blaise, she's upset because he never told her."

Neville frowned, "Why didn't you tell her?"

"Because B asked me not to. I don't like keeping secrets from either of them but… Well it wasn't something I wanted to publicize. I knew Pansy would be mad at the time too because of Kyle and…" Draco sighed, "It's just bringing it all up again isn't easy, I was such an arse. I refuse to be like that again."

"Well they say you learn from your mistakes." Neville said gently, "And I'm sure you'll sort stuff with Pansy."

Draco gave a small nod, kissing Neville again, "How long do we have before the others arrive?" He asked desperately as he pulled back.

Neville pulled a face, "Not long enough." He murmured, understanding what Draco wanted, "Maybe we can sneak away to some quiet little room afterwards though."

"Mmm… Wanna fuck you somewhere nice, not some old classroom."

Neville smirked, "You know, we could just wait for everyone to leave here before sneaking back in…" He grinned, kissing Draco again.

"I like the thought of that." Draco breathed against Neville's neck, sucking at the skin gently.

Neville flushed slightly, clearing his throat, "I was… Well I… I want to try it."

"Try what babe?"

Neville took a deep breathe, "I want to know what it feels like, to be inside you." He murmured, brushing Draco's hair from his face and pressing a quick kiss to the boy's lips, "But it's not like I've ever done it before and I don't want to hurt you and… Well I get it if you don't want -"

"Nev, relax." Draco smiled, "I'd like that very much. However I haven't been taking the potion and, although we could ask the room for muggle condoms, I don't trust them."

"Oh." Neville frowned.

"But I'll start taking the potion tomorrow, I've only not been taking it because it tastes foul and there wasn't much point when I was the one doing the… well… We have to give it a least five days to settle into my system but then..." Draco grinned and kissed Neville again, wrapping his arms around his boyfriend as he deepened the kiss. They broke the kiss reluctantly as the door opened and Remus walked in, "Hey dad." Draco smiled, twirling his fingers around Neville's as Remus sat down opposite them.

"Hey, how was your day?" Remus asked.

"Not great." Draco admitted, "But bearable."

Remus frowned and opened his mouth to ask what was up but was cut off as Harry walked in, his cheeks flushed and a big grin on his face, "Good day then?" Neville smirked.

"Was alright." Harry mumbled, rubbing at his neck awkwardly and Neville snorted, causing Harry to blush. "You seem in a better mood now." Harry said to Draco, Draco simply shrugged and looked at Harry defiantly. The Gryffindor scowled having been expecting an apology and, honestly, feeling that he was owed one. Neville frowned, hating the tension that settled between Draco and Harry, there was so much chemistry there… How the hell could he compare to that? Neville jumped as Draco squeezed his hand, smiling at the boy gently, silently telling him to stop worrying so much. "Umm… Remus? Could you go over my paper for class?" Harry asked, dragging his eyes away from Draco.

"Of course." Remus smiled, accepting the parchment Harry handed him. Draco looked up and smiled as Severus walked in, then he frowned as he noticed how exhausted the man looked, "Everything okay?" Remus asked quietly, having noticed as well.

"The Dark Lord has broken pretty much every one else out of Azkaban." Severus sighed, "And he's planning something big." He slumped down onto the sofa next to Remus, leaning against the man slightly, hoping the teenagers wouldn't notice.

"So what are we going to do?" Harry asked, "It's all very well that we're hanging around and getting to know each other but we should really start planning something!"

Draco frowned, "Like what?"

"Well… Dumbledore says it has to be me who kills Voldemort, I dunno how true the prophecy is but… Well Dumbledore obviously expects me to follow through with it."

"But I thought Dumbledore and Voldemort were working together." Neville said, utterly confused.

Harry shrugged, "Sometimes they are but sometimes it seems like Dumbles is scheming against Tom too…" He gave a small growl, "I'm gonna fix this somehow, I know I am… It has to be me."

"But why?" Severus snapped, "If the prophecy's not even real… I don't see why you should even be involved."

"I'm involved, like it or not. Dumbledore has something planned for me… But even if he didn't, he's put me through too much, stolen too much from me." Harry said, scowling at the fire.

"You're not the only person he hurt." Draco pointed out angrily.

Harry raised an eyebrow, "Perhaps not. But I seem to be the only one who actually wants to do something about it." He sneered, "I am so sick of listening to everyone tell me how bloody perfect that man is!"

"I know Harry." Severus sighed. "But we have to be careful or we'll put everyone in danger,"

Harry slumped slightly, realizing his father was right, "Yeah…" He muttered, "But we can't keep doing nothing!"

"We'll talk about it at Christmas, when we're all together." Severus replied, "Now… How was your day?"

_**.~*~*~*~.**_


	37. Love

_**.~*~*~*~*~*~*~.**_

Love.

_**.~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~.**_

"I want to tell my friends about us." Harry said quietly, with a small smile, "I mean obviously Ron and Mione already know but I was thinking of Dean, Seamus and Nev. They know I'm seeing someone so it makes sense to tell them who. And we have been together for over a month now…" Wow, a month, time flew, he thought, smiling slightly as he realized that this was honestly the longest he had ever been in a relationship.

Josh frowned, "I… I dunno Harry, I don't think it's a good plan."

"They're my mates, they won't care." Harry laughed, wondering what was bothering Josh, he'd been whining at Harry for weeks that they should tell, in fact it had caused several arguments.

"I just think we should wait." Josh mumbled, shrugging his shoulders slightly.

Harry frowned, what was with the sudden change of direction? "Is everything okay?"

"Yes!" Josh snapped "Sorry… I just…" He trailed off, looking awkwardly at the floor.

"It's fine." Harry said quietly, watching Josh cautiously, "Really…"

**_.~*~*~*~._**

"That was amazing, you're amazing." Draco breathed, leaning on his elbow to look at Neville properly.

Neville flushed a delicious pink, ducking his head slightly, "You're pretty good yourself." He murmured.

"Only pretty good?" Teased Draco, kissing the boy lightly before shivering and dragging the duvet over them from where it had fallen.

Neville moved, pushing Draco backwards before resting his head on the boy's chest, yawning slightly, "I like Sundays." He murmured.

"Oh?"

"Hmm… No classes. Just you and me and sex and food…" Neville grinned, turning slightly to kiss Draco's skin and smirking as he heard Draco hiss slightly. "It's the best day of the week." He added, flicking his tongue across the other boy's nipple.

"Can't argue with that." Draco breathed, his fingers moving to clutch at Neville's hip as his boyfriend continued to lick and nip at his skin, "Fuck Nev."

"Maybe in a bit, still recovering from the last shag." Neville laughed, kissing Draco lightly as the boy rolled his eyes.

"What happened to the shy guy who blushed if someone even mentioned sex?" Draco teased.

Neville laughed, "I met you!" He retorted, kissing Draco again. "We should probably move in a bit though… We need to get clean, we're meeting the others here at six remember."

Draco groaned, pulling a face, "Can't we just stay here forever?" He mumbled, "I'm so fucking tired."

Neville pressed a kiss to the boy's shoulder, "They might get a bit suspicious when they can't get into the room." He pointed out, glancing at the charm they'd set to tell the time. "We've got a while though." He added, sitting up and moving to pick up his glass off the table, "You can sleep for a bit you know, I'll read."

"Mm..." Draco pulled a face, "Don't wanna." He grunted, "I wanna go for a walk."

Neville sighed, "Well go then, but we can't go together, you know that."

Draco grunted again, "Wish we could… Not that I don't enjoy the sex." He added, "I want to spend all my spare time with you but…"

"It means being stuck in here all the time?" Neville nodded, "Well… Maybe we can borrow Harry's cloak next weekend or something? It is a Hogsmede day."

Draco's face lit up, "Sounds amazing."

**_.~*~*~*~._**

"What you grinning about? Been visiting your secret boyfriend again?" Dean teased.

Harry laughed and flopped down onto his bed, "Maybe."

"How comes we don't know who it is?" Dean asked, lighting a cigarette, "Don't you trust us?"

"Of course I do!" Harry said, "It's just… He was a bit off about people knowing."

Dean frowned, "Seems odd. Are his parents homophobes or something?"

"I dunno. Maybe." Harry mumbled, wouldn't Josh have mentioned it though, then again maybe he was embarrassed. But no, he'd been the one telling Harry to come clean before… He gave a small shrug, leaning against the head board, smiling as Seamus walked in, "Y'alright?"

"Fine." Seamus said quietly, smiling slightly as Dean moved to kiss him, "I just gotta go pee." He added, moving away, into the bathroom.

"He still being weird?" Harry asked, Seamus had been acting strange for the past week and Dean was getting more and more concerned.

Dean nodded slowly, sitting next to Harry, "Yeah." He sighed.

"I'm sure it's nothing." Ron said quietly, looking up from his essay, "He's probably just stressing about work and exams."

Dean gave a grunt, turning back to Harry, "So what's your boyfriend like?"

Harry grinned, chewing at his lip, "He's… He's amazing."

"Who's amazing?" Seamus asked, coming back out of the bathroom.

"Harry's new boy." Dean grinned, "Not that we're allowed to know who it is." He added teasingly.

Harry shrugged, smiling slightly, what the hell, he decided, Seamus and Dean were hardly going to tell the world, "It's Josh, Josh Grosen from sixth year."

"Oh I know him!" Dean grinned, "He's gorgeous isn't he? Good job there mate." He laughed. Seamus just sort of stared, "You know Josh right?" Dean asked him, "The cute one who's always in the library?"

Seamus nodded slowly, "Uh yeah… I think so." He gave a half shrug, "Seems nice." He added after a moment when he realised they were all watching him. Harry almost laughed, looked like Seamus didn't have a clue who Josh was, he thought.

_**.~*~*~*~.**_

"Harry!"

Harry looked around and grinned when he saw Seamus coming towards him. "'Sup Shay?"

"Hey, can we talk?" Seamus asked, looking around him nervously. Harry nodded slowly, wondering what was bothering his friend, and led him into the empty transfiguration classroom.

"So uh… You and Josh… How long's that been going on for?" Seamus asked quietly, glancing over to the window.

"About a month or so. Why?" Harry asked suspiciously, something wasn't right here, and the way Seamus was avoiding looking at him only added to his concerns. Seamus chewed on his lip for a second, his eyes flickering over towards the door, "Shay?" Harry persisted.

"I… I slept with him!" Seamus burst out, "Last weekend." He added as Harry stared at him dumbly, "I didn't know you guys were… I swear Harry!"

Harry stared at his friend, wondering, hoping, he'd misheard. "You fucked Josh?" He asked stupidly, Seamus nodded, looking like he was about to cry, "No. No he wouldn't… And you're with Dean."

"Please don't tell him Harry! I really can't -"

"You're lying." Harry said, aware even as he said it that he was kidding himself. He walked out of the room, ignoring Seamus calling after him, it all made sense now, Seamus' weird behaviour lately, Josh's attempts to persuade him to keep their relationship secret from Harry's friends… Fuck, how could he have been so stupid? Numbly Harry walked through the halls, wordlessly passing students and teachers alike. He found his way to the room of requirement and was momentarily surprised to see the others there before he remembered that this was where he had been heading before… Before Seamus had… Harry sank down into an armchair, looking up in surprise when Severus knelt down before him. "Harry?"

"Yeah?" Harry whispered, clearing his throat slightly and repeating the word, hoping his voice sounding stronger now.

Judging by the worried look on Severus' face, it didn't. "Are you okay? We've been talking to you for the past five minutes, you've just been sat there…" The older man trailed off.

Harry blinked, swallowing slightly and wincing as he realised how dry his mouth and throat were. "Sorry. My mind was on an essay." He mumbled, pulling his legs under him and staring past his father, into the fire.

Severus frowned slightly, "Okay." He said, although it was obvious he didn't believe Harry, he moved back over to sit next to Remus, watching Harry worriedly, and starting a conversation. Harry toned him out, staring into the flickering flames. Why had Seamus told him, when he'd worked so hard to keep it from Dean? Harry knew that the most likely reason was that Seamus didn't want Harry to get hurt, but Harry was too angry to consider that right now. Harry raised his hand to his mouth, chewing on his fingernail, unable to tear his eyes away from the fire which seems to be twisting in shape, the flames becoming writhing bodies… Their bodies… Harry closed his eyes, opening tem slowly, glad when his mind had stopped playing tricks with the fire.

"Harry!" Cut across his thoughts again and he looked up, raising an eyebrow at Ron who was stood in front of him. They'd keyed Ron into the room a while back but this was the first time he'd actually been in. "Seamus told me what happened. Are you alright?" Ron asked quietly, perching on the edge of Harry's chair.

"He scared I'll tell Dean?" Harry asked bitterly.

"Yeah." Ron admitted, "Mainly he's worried about you." He added and Harry leant his head against his friend's knee. "How you feeling?" Ron asked gently.

"Numb… Angry… Like I'm gonna puke." Harry mumbled, looking over at Severus who was frowning at them, obviously trying to hear what they were saying, "Do they…?" He trailed off, nodding towards the others.

"No, figured it was your business, plus Snape'd probably punch Grosen." Ron said softly.

Harry managed a weak smile, "Thanks." He said, sitting up properly, "Me and Ron are going for a walk." He told Severus , "I'm fine." He added as Remus opened his mouth and Draco frowned, "Really." Harry said quickly, swallowing again and standing up, grateful when he felt Ron's hand on his shoulder, silently comforting him.

_**.~*~*~*~.**_


	38. Out

_So this Chapter is entirely Harry, but it was the only way it would work and opens up to the next few chapters focuing a lot more on Neville, Draco, James and Lily._

* * *

_**.~*~*~*~*~*~.**_

**Out.**

**.~*~*~*~*~*~.**

"Harry! What happened this morning? I thought we were meeting by the tree as usual." Josh said, swinging his arm around Harry's shoulders.

"Go to hell." Harry hissed, shrugging him off and walking away.

"What? Harry what the fuck is wrong with you?"

"Seamus! Remember him?" Harry spat and Ron scowled at Joshua.

All the colour seemed to leave Josh's face, "Oh… I… Harry please you have to -"

"Stay away from him Grosen!" Ron growled, tugging Harry's arm and pulling him along the corridor, towards their next classroom.

_**.~*~*~*~*~*~*~.**_

Ron was the driving force that kept Harry going for the next few days, he made sure Harry ate, slept and went to the right classes at the right time. He checked that Harry was wearing, semi, clean clothes and followed his friend everywhere to make sure he wasn't harming himself. Even with Ron's efforts it was obvious to others that Harry was having a difficult time, Hermione, aware of the situation, tried to be as helpful as possible, always attempting to cheer Harry up. Seamus watched mournfully, tending to stay away but panicking whenever he saw Harry talking to Dean. Remus and Severus, for their part, kept their distance, occasionally checking in to make sure Harry was okay, they never pushed for information on what had happened though, something Harry was immensely grateful for. Draco, on the other hand, was constantly pestering about what was wrong, and although Harry knew it was because he cared it was still incredibly irritating. "Christmas soon." Ron said, interrupting Harry's thoughts, they were sat in the common room making vague attempts at doing their homework.

"Hmm." Harry murmured, staring in confusion at his potions journal.

"Obviously you're coming to ours for most of the day." Ron nodded, "What are your other plans?"

"Umm… Dunno, we're having Christmas dinner a few days later 'cause Nev has to be with his gran and Lucius has to be at the manor with Draco so…"

Ron smiled, "Well I'm hoping to go visit Charlie at some point, wanna come?"

"To Romania?"

"Yeah, it'll be fun, we can hang out. Plus Charlie'll take us out with his mates."

Harry nodded, a holiday really sounded like a good idea right now, "I'll check with my dads." He muttered, watching as Seamus walked over.

"Can I… Can I sit down?" The teenager asked quietly, Ron glanced at Harry who gave a small shrug so the red head nodded.

Seamus perched awkwardly on the chair in front of Harry, glancing around him nervously, Harry rolled his eyes and cast the muffliato charm. "What is it?" He asked, mildly irritated by the other boy's behaviour.

"I… I'm sorry Harry, I didn't know about you and Josh, I swear."

"I know." Harry said, throwing his potions journal down onto the table, "But you knew about you and Dean right?" He asked sarcastically, Ron couldn't help but snort at the words as Seamus flinched.

"I know I fucked up." Seamus whispered.

"So why did you do it?" Harry asked, honestly curious as to why Seamus had cheated on Dean when he was obviously so in love with him.

Seamus looked down, "I… I freaked out, things are moving so fast and Dean's talking about moving in together after graduation. I was panicking and… Well I'm Josh's 'study buddy' for Arithmecy and he was just there and… I've never felt so bad in my life, just the thought of… I can't risk losing Dean." Seamus sniffed, wiping his nose on his sleeve as tears trickled down his cheeks, "I know I should tell him but…"

"No." Harry said quietly. "Why should he deal with the pain of your insecurities? It's pretty clear it won't happen again, if I thought it would then yeah I'd tell him but… This is your fuck up to deal with." Harry added, ignoring Ron's raised eyebrow, not sure if it was agreement or disapproval. "Dean loves you enough to forgive you. Telling him wouldn't affect your relationship, it would just hurt him."

Seamus gave a small nod, wiping at his eyes and looking like he wasn't sure whether to be thankful or not. "I am sorry you got hurt." He murmured.

"Yeah well… Story of my life. Turns out you weren't the only one." Harry scowled, Ron had done some digging the past few days and found out that Josh had actually slept with a few guys behind Harry's back. Something that had earned him a punch in the face off Ron. "You finished this potions essay?" Harry asked, desperate to get the subject off Josh.

"Umm no… Nev has though, we could ask him for help." Seamus said quietly.

"Sounds like a plan!" Ron said, quickly removing the charm and standing up, "Let's go find him."

_****__**.~*~*~*~*~*~*~.**_

Harry unrolled the scroll, feeding Hedwig a handful of cornflakes as he read it.

_**Potter**, The Prophet has received a claim that you are homosexual, after a bit of digging and an interview with an ex-boyfriend they have decided to run the story. There is nothing you can do to stop them, even legally and the story will hit press tomorrow. I thought you deserved a head's up. And if you want to get your story across then you know who to call. **Rita Skeeter.**_

"Fuck." Harry breathed, handing the scroll to Ron, "Oh fuck. I can't… I'm not… I haven't even told your mum yet! Why is this happening?"

"It's okay, it's fine. Mum will be cool with it, you know she will, and so will my dad. Everyone else who matters already knows and screw anyone else who can't accept it." Ron said, scrunching the scroll up and stuffing it in his pocket, "You should go tell McGonagall, she'll let you floo mum and tell her face to face. Then at some point you can set up an interview with Skeeter, tell the world that you aren't ashamed of who you are you were just wanting a quiet life."

Harry nodded, chewing on his lip and trying hard not to panic, "Who tol…" He trailed off, looking up the table to where Joshua was sat with his friends, "Why would he do this to me?"

"Because he's a shit." Ron scowled, "Come on, we can catch McGonagall before lessons start. And it's better if I'm out of the hall, I think I'll get expelled if I punch the bastard again."

Harry managed a weak smile, following Ron from the hall and to McGonagall's office. "Oh hello boys, what can I help you with?" The woman asked, looking mildly surprised to see them so early in the morning.

"Umm… I…"

"She'll find out tomorrow anyway Har." Ron murmured.

Harry nodded, "I'm gay." He said, "And the Prophet found out and they're running an article and… I just need to see Mr and Mrs Weasley, tell them properly before they find out from… Well you know."

McGonagall looked horrified, "Oh Potter… I'm so sorry." She murmured, "Of course, use my floo, go to the Burrow. I'll excuse you from your first class, you too Weasley." McGonagall flooed with the, assuring Molly that they were allowed to be off school and could she please have them floo back by ten o'clock. And then suddenly Harry was sat at the kitchen table, with Molly, Arthur, Bill and Charlie watching him curiously.

"Sorry." Harry mumbled, "I didn't mean to interrupt a family thing…" He trailed off, ignoring Ron's eye roll.

Bill shrugged, "It's fine… Do you want me and Charlie to go?"

"No, no… You'll find out tomorrow anyway so…" Harry sighed, glancing at Ron who looked at him encouragingly, "I… It's… I was gonna tell you I just… It's difficult for me, the place I grew up isn't exactly accepting of such things and…"

Mrs Weasley leant forwards and took his hand, "Sweetheart whatever it is you can tell us. I may not be delighted with some of my childrens life choices but I love them all the same, you are included in that."

Harry looked at the woman and gave a weak smile, "I… I'm gay."

"Oh… Well there's nothing wrong with that. I know in the muggle world it might be different because you wouldn't be able to carry on your family line or whatever but…" Bill shrugged, "Here most people don't care, and the ones that do aren't worth shit."

"William." Mrs Weasley said, her voice angry and Harry froze before realising she was commenting on his language and not on Harry's sexuality.

Arthur gave a small smile, "Like Molly said, we all love you regardless of who you love."

Charlie nodded slowly, "Why are you telling us now though?" And so Ron explained about stupid Skeeter and the bloody Prophet, and after a small glance at Harry also explained about Joshua almost definitely being the one to tell the Prophet that Harry was gay.

"Well I'd say you're better off without him!" Mrs Weasley said quietly, squeezing Harry's hand before moving off to make tea.

Charlie grinned, "I can always set a dragon on him if you'd like?" He offered.

_**.~*~*~*~*~*~*~.**_

"So Ron was thinking of going to see Charlie just before Christmas. Would it be okay if I went with him? It'd just be for a few days." Harry said, passing his father the Gurdy roots, "I mean technically I'm seventeen now so I don't have to ask." He mused before realising he probably sounded rude, "But I figured I should check that you didn't have anything planned."

Severus gave a small smile, "Well as far as I know the week before Christmas is clear but you might want to check with Lucius, I know he's been looking forward to seeing you." He said gently.

"Sure." Harry nodded, wrinkling his nose as the potion let off a slightly acidic smell and he wondered how he'd been roped into making some cheering potion in the room of requirement before Neville, Draco and Remus arrived.

"How are you doing? I know you've had a tough few days with… whatever happened."

Harry shrugged, looking at his father, "I'm doing better." He mumbled, "Thanks… For not pushing me this week."

"Well I didn't think a million questions would help with whatever you were dealing with. I admit I did check with Ronald to make sure you weren't doing too badly though." Said Severus.

Harry gave a small chuckle, "Ron's a good friend." He said, "He's barely left my side this week, making sure I'm not…" Harry trailed off and Severus looked up sharply.

"Have you? Cut yourself?"

"No!" Harry said definitely before slumping slightly, annoyed at himself for snapping at his father. "But I probably would have if Ron hadn't followed me everywhere and took my wand away when he wasn't around." He sighed, deciding not to mention the fact that he'd barely eaten in days, not wanting to worry his dad too much.

Severus looked faintly surprised, "Oh." He said, his respect for the Weasley boy growing immensely, "He's a good friend."

"Yeah… Seamus knew to tell him too which says a lot." He sighed when he saw the questioning look on Severus' face, "Me and Josh broke up, you probably guessed that though right?" Severus nodded, turning the heat on the cauldron down, "Well he cheated on me… With Seamus. Seamus didn't know about me and Josh though! And as soon as he did he told me what happened."

"Are you okay?" Severus asked quietly.

Harry sighed, "I will be." He sighed, "I… The prophet's running an article on me tomorrow, telling the world I'm gay."

Severus moved, wrapping an arm around his son, "Grosen told them?"

"I think so. Look… Don't tell dad? You know he'd only hunt Josh down and kill him."

Severus chuckled, "I won't." He murmured, "But you know I could always fail the boy." He offered.

"Dad!" Harry laughed, sniffing his tears back and hugging the man.


	39. Baby Drama

**_.~*~*~*~*~*~._**

**Baby Drama.**

_**.~*~*~*~*~*~*~.**_

"I… I heard you punched Grosen." Neville said quietly, crossing his arms over his chest and scowling out of the window. "Why?"

Draco froze, suddenly aware of how irritated Neville seemed, he was perfectly aware of the other boy's jealousy of Harry and knew what Neville was thinking, "He was a dick to Blaise, said some stuff about his mum." He invented, feeling bad about bringing B into it but knowing that Neville wouldn't understand he was just trying to protect Harry.

"And he cheated on Harry before outing him? Face it Drake, that's why you hit him. Because he hurt your precious Harry."

"No! Nev… Look yeah I was mad at him for hurting Harry, but only because Harry's my mate."

Neville snorted, "Right… a mate you want to screw."

"Nev!"

"No, I'm sick of it always being about him Draco!"

Draco's shoulders slumped, not knowing how to fix this, "I love you." He whispered.

"Maybe, but I think you love him too." Neville whispered, "And I don't think I can deal with that."

"Nev…" Draco shook his head, wanting to sat that Neville was wrong but unable to find the words, suddenly unsure if Neville was wrong at all, did he love Harry too?

Neville's shoulders slumped, "I know you guys were hanging out yesterday…"

"He, we were just messing with my guitar." Draco said, "Look I won't see him without you around if you're that -"

"No! I don't want to be that jerky boyfriend who won't let you see your friends!"

"Well then what do you want?"

"I am just fucking sick of the way you look at him!" Neville screamed suddenly, interrupting Draco, "WHY IS HE SO SPECIAL?"

Draco shook his head, tears in his eyes, "Nev, Harry's just…"

"Just forget it!" Neville snapped, "Go fuck Harry!" And with that he turned around and stormed from the room, leaving Draco staring pitifully after him.

**_.~*~*~*~*~*~._**

"So Harry'll be in Romania for the first week of the holidays." Lucius said.

"Right, and Neville's coming straight over, his Gran's with his Uncle for the holidays and seemed quite happy for Neville come stay with Harry and I." Remus said, "I don't think she wants him to see Algie when he's this ill…"

Lily nodded, "Well that makes sense." She murmured, "I'm assuming Draco's coming straight here from school too?"

"Yes, I'll pick him up from the station." Lucius nodded.

Sirius yawned, "Well now that's all sorted can I get anyone a drink?"

"I have to get back." Lily smiled, "I'll see you tomorrow." She told Sirius softly, moving to kiss his head.

Sirius grinned, "Have a good night." He said, hugging the woman before she said her goodbyes and left. "Drink?" Sirius offered again, turning to Lucius and Remus.

"Sounds good." Lucius murmured, following him through to the kitchen and flopping into a chair as Sirius grabbed two bottles of butterbeer from the fridge, handing him one and giving the other to Remus who had just walked in before getting one for himself. "So what were you saying about Draco?" Lucius asked.

"He umm… Well I don't know, he and Neville seem to be arguing if the tension I anything to go by… And he's moping around by himself every other time I see him. But he won't talk to me… I tried. So I figure… Well maybe if you wrote to him…?"

"Pointless." Lucius said, shaking his head, "Draco does not open up via letters. He never has, it takes a lot to get him to talk face to face as it is. But I'll try at Christmas, it's only another week, reckon he'll last that long?"

Remus shrugged, "I don't think he's like... Well I think he's just unhappy, it's probably just relationship stuff, maybe I'm over thinking it."

"No, I'll talk to him at Christmas if he still won't speak to you." Lucius said, chewing his lip, "He will open up to you guys eventually… Draco's just very…Well he's…"

"Very Malfoy?" Sirius smirked, "You certainly raised him in a very Pure Blood way."

Lucius snorted, "We should be glad he turned out as well as he did."

"You're a good father." Remus said quietly, "You were there when Draco needed you, you still are. Same with Harry,"

Sirius rolled his eyes, "Trust Remus to go all soppy." He muttered, ducking away as his husband moved to swat him.

"So what did Dumbledore want with Severus?" Lucius asked, changing the subject.

Remus shrugged, "Something about some of the Slytherins. Maybe it's a good thing though… Not that he can't see you!" He added quickly, "But I think Dumbledore is getting suspicious that Sev and I take the same nights off."

"Probably thinks you're sleeping together."

Sirius giggled, "He'd be right."

Remus raised an eyebrow, "You're so mature." He said, "Obviously hanging out with Prongs so much has had a great effect."

"Oh shush. You're just jealous."

"Jealous?"

"Yeah, you're worried me and Prongs'll run off and have a mad affair." Sirius grinned.

Lucius laughed, "Aren't we having enough of those?" He asked, kissing Sirius softly.

_**.~*~*~*~*~*~.**_

"Hey, you okay?" Lucius asked, smiling at Draco as the boy got off the train.

"Fine." Draco mumbled, "Can we just get out of here?" He asked, handing his trunk to the man and following him out of the station, into a small, silent alleyway.

Lucius took Draco's arm and apparated them back into the manor, "I think Sirius wanted to see you."

"I'll talk to him later." Draco mumbled, grabbing his trunk and leaping up the stairs, closing and locking his bedroom door before Lucius could stop him. Apparently running up the stairs had been a bad idea though, thought Draco a he rushed into his bathroom, barely making it to the toilet bowl before he vomited, oh Merlin, he didn't think he'd drank that much last night. Then again between his row with Nev, Pansy still being angry that he'd fucked Blaise and Blaise being pissy about some sort of mood swings he was determined Draco was having well… He'd had good enough reasons to get trashed. Once he was sure he had stopped being sick Draco stood up, flushing the toilet and moving back into the bedroom before stripping down to his boxers and climbing intobed, flicking his wand to shut the curtains. Some rest…That was all he needed.

Draco's head was pounding when he woke up, he turned over and glanced at the clock he'd got on his bedside table. 21:36. Shit, he'd slept for way longer than he'd thought. Draco pulled himself off the bed, opening his trunk and summoning some sweatpants and an Evil Goblins tee-shirt from it. He got dressed and moved downstairs, towards the living room where he could hear people laughing. As he approached the room the door opened and Sirius stepped out, "Oh hey." The man said, closing the living room door and frowning at his son, "Tried to find you earlier, Lucius said you looked ill when he picked you up from the station."

"I was in my room." Draco muttered.

Sirius nodded, "Yeah but your door was locked, I figured you wanted some privacy, cast a quick charm to make sure you were okay in there mind." He admitted.

Draco shrugged, wondering why the lights were so bright, "I… I just felt crap, wanted sleep. I didn't mean to seem rude."

"That's okay. You feeling better now?" Sirius asked, concern clearly written all over his face.

"No." Draco sighed, "My head hurts."

"You should have said earlier!" Sirius chastised, "We'll get you a pain relief." He added, wrapping an arm around his son and leading him to the kitchen, "Just a headache?"

Draco sat down, watching as Sirius went through the cupboard looking for a headache potion, "I was sick earlier."

"Draco, you really should tell us these things!"

Draco flushed, "I…" He trailed off and then, before he could stop himself, started to talk again, "Well there was a party last night and I'd had a fight with Nev so… When I felt sick today I just thought it was …"

"A hangover." Sirius finished.

"Yeah… But it feels different you know?" Draco murmured, "I feel really, really sick."

Sirius frowned, a thought occurring to him, "You're… Are you… Could you be pregnant?"

"No." Draco said automatically before freezing, "I… No… I… Oh fuck. I've been taking the potion but I missed one, I thought it wouldn't matter." Sirius paled as Draco slumped down in his seat, shaking, "What am I going to do?" The teen mumbled.

"Hey, hey it's okay. We'll do a test. No point in worrying until you know for sure." Sirius soothed, "I think there's a test upstairs so… You want me to get Neville?"

"No! No… We had a row… I… No, I don't want him here."

Sirius looked torn before nodding, wrapping an arm around his son's shoulders, "It's okay." He murmured again, leading him upstairs. Sirius rummaged in the medical cabinet in the main bathroom, finding the test before taking Draco into his bedroom.

"Stay?" Draco mumbled.

Sirius blinked, "Of course." He murmured, not having been planning on doing any differently. Sirius took Draco's hand, casting a shallow cutting charm on his finger and letting a drop of blood fall into the potion before healing Draco's hand and placing the potion on the nightstand. "It should take a couple of minutes." Sirius said quietly as Draco sank onto the bed, "Are you sure you don't want me to get Neville?"

"No, we had a row… Oh Merlin, what am I gonna do dad? I can't be pregnant! I just can't. Why is everything going wrong?" Draco whimpered, unable to stop the tears that fell from his eyes. "Pansy hates me, Blaise is pissed off with me too and Nev's gonna break up with me, I know it!"

Sirius' eyes narrowed, "You think he'll dump you if the test is positive?" He asked, seriously hoping that Draco was wrong.

"No! He's going to break up with me because he thinks I love Harry!" Draco sobbed.

Sirius stared for a moment before leaning forwards and tugging Draco into a hug, "Hush… Everything will be okay." He murmured, looking over to the bedside table as the potion slowly began to glow yellow, "It's negative." He said softly, pulling Draco away from his chest and showing him the potion before vanishing it. "Which is one less thing to worry about. It doesn't explain why you've been feeling so sick though so we'll get you an appointment with the Malfoy family healer." Sirius said, taking the pain relief potion from his pocket where he'd shoved it earlier, "Take this for now."

Draco wiped his nose on his sleeve, trying to control his breathing as he swallowed the potion. "Thank you." He whispered as Sirius sat down next to him, "Really." Draco ran his hands over his eyes, trying to think of a way to tell Sirius just how grateful he was that he was there, that he had been there when Draco needed him.

Sirius pressed a kiss to Draco's head, "You and Nev will sort stuff out, it's not a proper relationship if you don't hit a few bumps along the way." He said softly, "You just need to sit down and talk properly. And the same for whatever's going on with your friends, it'll work out. Sometimes things all hit at once and so everything seems a lot worse than it really is."

Draco nodded slowly, hoping his dad was right, "Thanks." He mumbled again.

Sirius smiled, looking down at his son "Drake…" He started, "If you miss a potion again you do need to take it seriously and take other precautions okay?" Not wanting to sound like he was lecturing but needing Draco to understand that just because the test was negative this time didn't mean he could regularly just forgo the potion.

"Yeah, I know." Draco sniffed, "I think I'm gonna go back to sleep. Tell dad I'll talk to him tomorrow?"

"Of course." Sirius smiled, standing up and drawing Draco into another hug.

"And thanks dad. I'm really glad you were here."

"Where else would I be?" Sirius murmured.

**_.~*~*~*~*~*~._**

James grinned over at his wife who took his hand, "We… Lils and I have decided to try again, using the fertility potion. We've talked about it a lot and know it may not work but… Well we want to try."

Severus smiled, "That's great!"

"You're sure about this?" Sirius asked softly, knowing how difficult a decision it must have been.

"Yeah." James nodded, "We've thought about it a lot." He added and Sirius smiled, squeezing his friends shoulder. Outside the door Neville slumped against the wall, he'd only wanted a drink but he'd ended up hearing their little confessional. "Shit." He briefly wondered why they needed a fertility potion before shaking his head, what did it matter? At the end of the day they still wanted another kid, they wanted a new child… Someone who wasn't Neville. And who could blame them really? He was a fuck up after all. Neville moved away, up the stairs, barely paying attention as he knocked on Draco's door. Draco looked like crap when he opened it but Neville didn't comment, or apologise for waking him, instead he just threw his arms around the boy, kissing him hard. "Nev… Nev what?" Draco breathed, pulling away.

"I don't want to fight anymore." Neville whispered, "Just… Just love me, please!"

"I do, always." Draco murmured, kissing Neville again.

Neville dragged him over to the bed, "Show me. Just want me, show me you want me…"

**_.~*~*~*~*~*~._**

* * *

**_Please leave a review and let me know what you thought, they do inspire me and thus make me write a bit faster._**

**_And I love hearing your opinions.  
_**


	40. Christmas

**.*.**

**Christmas.**

**.*.  
**

"Harry should be back in an hour or so." Lucius said, finishing his coffee and looking around the kitchen.

Sirius smiled, "It'll be nice to have him around." He murmured, glancing over at where Neville and Draco were sat, laughing together about something in the papers. The two had made up almost straight after Draco and Sirius' chat it seemed, and Sirius was glad they were happy but he couldn't help but wonder how long it was going to last. He had tried to speak to Draco but had just got an eye roll and a "Chill out dad" in reply, and Sirius had been rather choked up at being called dad so casually that he had honestly forgotten what they had been talking about and let Draco happily change the subject. But now that Harry was coming back he couldn't help but worry, he knew that most, if not all, of the boys argument had been because of Neville's jealousy and surely having Harry around would only maximise that. Sirius chewed on his lip as Draco gave a loud laugh and pretended to hit Neville with the paper, there really wasn't much he could do, he supposed, but wait and see…

"Sirius?"

"Hmm?" Sirius looked up, grinning at Lucius who was frowning at him.

"More coffee?"

"Nah, better not." Sirius said, "Gonna go wake Rem actually, see you later." He slid out from behind the table and left the kitchen, ruffling Draco's hair on the way out and laughing when the teenager whined. Remus was fast asleep, sprawled out across the bed, the duvet hanging off his body and Sirius sat down next to him, kissing his forehead softly before shaking his shoulder, "Remmie?"

"Mmm." Remus moaned, opening his eyes slowly before squeezing them shut again.

"Come on Remmie, it's nearly eleven." Sirius murmured, knowing how much Remus hated sleeping in too late because it always ended up in him staying up late at night and messing up his entire sleep schedule.

Remus gave a low groan before sitting up, "Morning." He mumbled.

"Morning love." Sirius smiled, "How you feeling?"

"Tired." Remus chuckled, "You?"

Sirius leant back against his husband, "I'm fine." He said quietly, "Harry'll be back soon."

"Oh, that's good… isn't it?" Remus asked when Sirius made a slight humming noise.

Sirius shrugged, "I'll be glad to see him, see how he's holding up after the whole being outed thing but… I can't help but worry about how Harry being here will affect Draco and Nev…"

Remus gave a small sigh, "Sirius, I know you worry but we really need to step back and let Draco figure all this out himself." He murmured.

"I know but… He was so upset and now suddenly everything's fine and…" Sirius grunted, wishing his son's love life made at least some sense.

"Because he's seventeen." Remus murmured, turning to kiss Sirius, "If he comes to find you, wanting to talk then talk but don't try to push him Siri."

Sirius nodded grumpily, "I know." He said and Remus chucked, kissing him again. Sirius smiled into the kiss, his hand moving up to Remus' hair, "Miss you when you're at Hogwarts you know."

"You have Lucius." Remus replied with a laugh.

"Not the same and you know it. Besides I barely even see him, not as much as you see Severus."

Remus raised an eyebrow, "Jealous love?" He asked, his voice half teasing half worried.

Sirius thought about it for a moment before shaking his head, "No, well slightly but only because he gets to spend time with you when I'm sat there missing you. I'm glad you have each other when you're there though. I like what we have with them, even if it is a little odd, but I do like having you to myself sometimes too." He smiled, kissing Remus again and shifting so they were lying side by side. "Mine." Sirius murmured, kissing Remus' neck.

"Possessive bastard." Remus chuckled. "We should get moving."

Sirius groaned and shook his head slightly, kissing Remus' neck again, "Can think of better things to do." He murmured.

Remus pulled away, "I need to get dressed." He said quietly, sliding off the bed before pausing, turning to look at Sirius, "Sorry."

"Hey, what you apologising for silly?" Sirius smiled, moving closer to his husband and wrapping an arm around him.

Remus shrugged slightly, avoiding Sirius' eyes, "I'm just not really feeling up to it right now…" He muttered. "I want to but… I know if we do then I'll just want to sleep for days."

"It's fine babe." Sirius murmured, suddenly wondering if sex with Severus did the same to Rem, he pushed the thought away quickly, no jealousy, he reminded himself.

Remus gave him a knowing look, "Sev and I only slept together once since we got back to school, I missed most of my classes the next day so I've kind of been giving him excuses since…" He admitted quietly. "He probably thinks I'm having second thoughts about the whole thing."

Sirius gave a gentle smile, "You should tell him the truth, might be able to help him with whatever research he's doing."

Remus nodded slowly, looking up at Sirius properly, "Sorry." He mumbled.

"Stop apologising! I love you, our relationship is about more than sex isn't it? Hmm?"

"Of course but -"

"Hush." Sirius soothed, kissing Remus lightly before looking up as he heard laughter from downstairs, "Sounds like Harry's back." He said, "We'll talk later yeah? Properly." Sirius promised, kissing Remus again before standing up and grinning. "Come on then Lupin, chop chop."

**_.*.*.*.*._**

"The reserve was amazing." Harry said, helping himself to some of the toast that was left over from breakfast, "Like they had us helping out, with the really small stuff obviously, and it was just so much fun. It was hard work too but… It was amazing." He repeated and Severus smiled, Harry looked so much happier, and healthier, then when he had last seen him, the holiday had obviously been a good idea, he thought as he watched Harry take another slice of toast, he hadn't seen Harry eat that much at once in… Well he didn't think he'd ever seen Harry eat that much.

"Meet any pretty Romanians?" Neville asked, leaning across the table to grab his cup.

"Nah, I'm over all that. Off love, off relationships… Off everything." Harry said, "Although the Daily prophet do want me to promise that I'll let them know as soon as I'm dating." He added with a half amused, half disgusted face. "So how have things been here?"

Draco shrugged, "Same old boring shit." He said, laughing at the look Lily sent him.

"Harry!" Remus smiled, walking into the kitchen and hugging the boy tightly, "How was Romania?"

"Brilliant!" Harry grinned, "It was the best. How are you?" He asked quietly, "You look tired."

Remus snorted, "Thanks! I'm fine though, really."

Harry frowned slightly but nodded, taking a third slice of toast, "Christ international flooing makes me hungry." He said, "Is that coffee still hot?"

Lucius cast a quick heating charm on the pot, "It is now." He teased, glancing at the time that was projected on the wall, "I have to go, I'll see you later. Glad you're back." He murmured, pulling Harry into a quick hug, kissing Severus lightly and dashing over to the floo.

Harry poured himself a mug of coffee, "So what's the plan?" He asked, flopping into a chair.

"Me and Nev were gonna watch a movie." Draco said, glancing over at Neville.

Neville gave a small nod, "Sure, you can watch too if you want." He offered with a shrug, leaning against Draco who squeezed his arm gently, "It's like three movies or something, some muggle fantasy story about a lord of a ring I think."

"Sounds good." Harry murmured, grinning as Sirius walked in and pulled him into a hug, kissing the top of the teenagers head.

"Where did you get to? You were right behind me." Remus frowned at his husband.

"Went back for socks, my feet were cold." Sirius shrugged with a smile, "Drake can I have a word or are you busy?"

Draco glanced at Neville before shrugging, "Sure, I'll meet you guys upstairs?" He asked the other two who nodded and Draco followed Sirius from the room, Remus close behind wondering what on earth his husband was up to now. They'd agreed not to pester Draco right?

"We just got an owl from your healer." Sirius said quietly once they were safely in his and Remus' room, "All your tests came back negative."

"What does that mean?"

"That they still don't know what's causing it." Sirius admitted, sitting down on the bed.

Draco frowned, "I feel a lot better though, like the past few days I haven't been, or felt, sick at all."

Sirius nodded, "Well it's always possible that it's stress related, you had had that row with Neville after all, look just let us know if it starts again yeah? So we can keep an eye on it. And the healer wants to see you every few months anyway, Lucius will arrange that."

Draco nodded slowly, chewing on his lip and looking confused, "Okay." He mumbled.

"It'll be okay Drake, whatever it is, they'll fix it." Sirius murmured, moving and hugging his son, smiling as Remus did the same. They stood there quietly for a moment before Draco pulled back, giving the two men a small smile,

"You go watch your movie." Remus said softly, kissing his son's head and watching him leave before turning to Sirius. "You think it's stress?"

"I… I don't know. I just think it's strange that he's only sick when he's in, or just left, Hogwarts." Sirius admitted and Remus watched him worriedly, thinking the same thing.

_**.*.*.*.*.**_

"So Romania was good?" Neville asked, slouching across the sofa.

"Brilliant." Harry grinned, "How was stuff here?"

Neville shrugged, pulling a face as he flicked through the television channels, "Same old." He muttered.

Harry frowned, Neville didn't seem too happy, "What's up? I know we don't exactly talk much but… Well if you want to talk then I'm here." He offered awkwardly. "I mean cause like you're dating Draco so maybe there's stuff you… You don't want to…" Harry trailed off, pulling a face, "Well." He finished.

Neville carried on changing channels, giving a small nod, "Thanks." He said quietly, "I… Lily's going to take a fertility potion. I just kinda feel…" Neville trailed off, shrugging slightly. "I guess I'm not enough for them."

"I'm sure it's not that." Harry murmured, moving to sit on the floor in front of his friend, "They love you, but they've always wanted a big family."

"So why wait till now?" Neville scowled.

"Nev, they're not using a fertility potion for fun." Harry pointed out quietly. "They've been trying for years, they've lost so many -" He stopped, aware he was probably sharing information James and Lily would rather was kept quiet.

Neville stared, his eyes wide, "What? They… Harry."

"Lily's had quite a few miscarriages, and she's carried full term a few times and the children have… Well…" Harry moved, taking Neville's hand, "Them wanting another child doesn't mean they don't love you Nev, hell look at the Weasleys!" Harry laughed and Neville managed a small smile, "Don't push them away Neville, you deserve a family that loves you." Harry said, taking the remote off his friend and changing to the DVD menu. "I'm gonna go grab a drink since Draco's taking forever. You want anything?"

"I'll come with you." Neville said, "Get some snacks." They stood up and moved into the kitchen, Neville heading to rummage through the cupboards whilst Harry located the pumpkin juice in the fridge.

"What are you boys up to?" James asked, walking in from the garden.

Harry glanced at Neville who chewed his lip, "Well we're watching a movie so we were going to get something to eat, is that okay?" He asked quietly.

James' eyebrow raised slightly in surprise before he smiled, "Sure, no problem, I think it's Sirius' turn to cook and he was planning a big dinner so lunch was just going to be whatever's around."

"Cool." Neville nodded, grabbing a big bag of crisps from the cupboard as well as a pile of pumpkin pasties. "Crap I still have presents to buy." He muttered, glancing at the calendar.

"Well I could take you back to the city, do some proper Christmas shopping?" James offered, "Just us two."

Neville hesitated, looking at Harry who raised an eyebrow, "Sounds good." He murmured finally and James' face lit up.

"Fantastic! I'll get that sorted." The man grinned, gripping Neville's shoulder before leaving the kitchen as Draco walked in.

"Where'd you guys go?" Draco pouted, leaning against the table.

Harry snorted, "Funnily enough we came in here, which is why we're… Well here."

Draco rolled his eyes, "You're hilarious." He said, "So are we watching the movie or what?"

"Yup." Neville smiled, handing the bag of crisps to his boyfriend, "Come on."


	41. Facing Demons

**_.*._**

**Facing Demons.**

**.*.**

Three weeks after the Christmas holidays Harry found himself sat in Dumbledore's office, "We believe we may be close to locating where Lord Voldemort is currently staying." The Headmaster said, watching Harry closely from behind his desk. Harry blinked, wondering what this meant and what Dumbledore was planning. Harry knew that Dumbledore wanted Harry and Voldemort to come head to head at some point, he just wasn't sure if Voldemort knew about it, it had been obvious for a while that Dumbledore was trying to silently work against Voldemort. "And once we've pinpointed this I think we should move in, the prophecy, as you are aware, speaks of a final battle between the two of you."

"I want to fight!" Harry demanded, knowing it was what Dumbledore expected.

The old man smiled, "Sometimes I forget how much you have grown." He murmured, "Of course you are of age now. If you choose to face the Dark Lord then it is entirely your decision."

Harry nodded slowly, "So what now Sir?" He asked quietly.

"Now we wait. I will inform you as soon as I know something." Dumbledore said, "You should get back to class."

"Yes, thank you Professor." Harry smiled, nodding his head to Fawkes as he left the office. Harry glanced at his watch as he headed down the corridor, there really wasn't much point in heading back to Transfiguration now but he knew that Remus had a free lesson so he decided to go and visit the man, although he knew they wouldn't be able to speak freely since Dumbledore probably had ways of listening in on Remus' office.

The man was half slumped over some papers, staring at them blankly, the lines on his face and the bags under his eyes looked worse than usual and Harry frowned but then Remus looked up and smiled, "Shouldn't you be in class?" Remus asked and the boy laughed, sitting on the edge of his desk.

"Had a meeting with Dumbledore." He explained quietly.

"Professor Dumbledore." Remus corrected automatically, looking concerned and Harry smiled to show that everything was fine and he would explain everything later. "Saw you talking to Joshua earlier." Remus commented casually.

Harry rolled his eyes, "Yeah he uh… He says he misses me, but whatever. Screw him." He said with a shrug.

"You'll find someone else." Remus murmured.

"I don't need anyone else." Harry protested, "I'm fine on my own. Really."

"Hmm." Remus murmured, putting his hand on Harry's knee briefly, "What lesson do you have next?"

Harry wrinkled his nose, "Charms." He mumbled, "Still, it'll all be over soon. Can't wait to graduate. Don't get me wrong I love it here but… Be nice to be living my life for myself and not by all the school rules." He said quickly, making sure that if Dumbledore was listening he wouldn't think Harry really wanted to leave. "Are you all right Rem? You look tired."

"Thanks!" Remus laughed, running a hand over his face self-consciously, "I'm just getting old." He chuckled.

Harry's brows furrowed, "No you're not." He murmured after a while, moving forwards to hug the man.

**_.*.*.*.*._**

"And you're sure he's here?" Harry asked quietly, staring up at the manor.

"We are certain, the Order will be here soon." Dumbledore said, Harry knew he was lying, "We should wait for them."

"No." Harry murmured, "I have to do this, the prophecy…" He trailed off, knowing that Severus would know he was out of the castle by now, knowing that the man would be freaking out. But this was his chance right? His chance to change at least part of the outcome of this whole mess, sure it might be dangerous but if he could cause some damage to Voldemort or Dumbledore then… "I want to go in."

Dumbledore gave a long sigh, and just for a second Harry almost believed that the old man truly cared, then he nodded, "Then let us enter."

Voldemort had definitely been expecting them, he was sat in a large, overstuffed, green armchair in front of a fireplace in the main room, looking at them expectantly, "Harry Potter."

"Tom." Harry replied evenly, hoping his voice didn't betray how absolutely terrified he was, oh Merlin he was probably going to die here, and the people he loved had no idea where he was.

"Apparently you want to duel me, you actually think you have a chance against me…"

"I've duelled you before!" Harry spat, "And won."

Voldemort sneered, rising from the chair, "You do not win a duel until your opponent is dead." He said casually, twirling his wand, "Right Albus?"

Harry glanced at the old headmaster, wondering how he was going to play this, it was fairly obvious that he wanted Voldemort to kill Harry, so would he even bother keeping up the façade, "Right." Was all Dumbledore said, leaning against the door frame.

"You remember the rules of duelling right Harry?" Voldemort asked as Harry mentally went through every spell he knew, shit he wasn't going to win this, but maybe he could cause some serious damage. If he had to die then he could at least try to take the two men with him. He knew how to summon fiendfyre but not how to stop it, still if he was to die anyway then… Well. "Remember to bow." Voldemort interrupted his thoughts.

Harry clutched his wand, bowing slightly because he knew he would be forced to otherwise, "Wait, one thing first…" He turned to Dumbledore, "Why?"

The man looked amused, "So you do know. I did wonder." He murmured, "How did you figure it out?"

"I'm not as stupid as I look." Harry snapped, "Why did you do it?"

"Oh my dear boy… Why not?" Dumbledore smirked and Harry barely had time to react before Voldemort had shot a crucio at him. As Harry lay gasping on the floor he briefly wondered how on earth he had managed to keep hold of his wand, then he tried to pull himself upright, ignoring the burning pain in his veins. Voldemort laughed softly, watching Harry closely, they were going to make this last then, going to make it hurt. Although why, he wasn't sure, after all they had pretended to kill so many people and actually just obliviated them and sent them on their way. It didn't look like they were willing to do the same with him though, looked like they actually wanted him dead. Harry clung to a chair as he finally made it to his feet, trying to stop his hands shaking.

"Come on Potter, you're not even trying." Voldemort mocked and Dumbledore chuckled. Harry felt a shot of anger and raised his wand, blocking the next spell Voldemort shot at him and sending off one of his own. "Better." Voldemort murmured with a sadistic grin and then suddenly Harry was hanging upside down, desperately trying to grip his wand, he let out a scream as he felt a slash across his leg and saw blood drip past him, then he was back on the floor, a loud crack and shot of pain signalling that he had most likely broken a bone, Another slash cut across Harry' chest and he screamed with pain, still clutching his wand he quickly tried to apparate but, as expected, felt the familiar tenseness that accompanied an apparition block. Harry squeezed his eyes shut, trying to block out the pain, his was it, he was going to die here and he hadn't even hurt the other men at all, then he remembered the fiendfyre… Would burning to death hurt more than this he wondered and, before he had a chance to change his mind, shot the spell from his wand.

Harry hadn't been looking at where he was pointing his wand but he couldn't have aimed better as the fire shot out and hit right next to where Dumbledore was standing. It grew within seconds and the man ran, yelling at Voldemort to remove the anti apparition charm as the fire instantly threatened to engulf the whole room, and then suddenly Voldemort was gone and Harry looked towards Dumbledore as the flames shot around him, the man screamed, dropping his wand and Harry grabbed it, racing out of the second door, the only place not surrounded by the flames, he paused for a second before locking the door and running out of the manor, down the path and as far away from the building as he could manage before collapsing to the floor. Harry sat there, watching as the building burned in front of him, he felt a shot of something go through him as he recalled locking the door, leaving Dumbledore there to die. But surely that was right, surely the man deserved it? Harry groaned as he tried to move his leg, his hand moving down to touch it and coming away covered in blood, "Shit." Christ his head hurt, Harry's hand shook as he tried to cast a patronus message and failed. Wait the fire would stop at the manor right? Shit. Harry chewed on his lip before remembering his necklace, he grabbed at it, "Lucius, dad. Help please." He slumped to the floor, suddenly realising he was still holding Dumbledore's wand, if the aurours found out then they'd know he'd stopped the man apparating. Harry hid it under his shirt, wincing as it brushed against the cut on his chest, he watched the flames flicker, thinking that Remus was right when he'd said fiendfyre was unlike any fire he'd ever seen before. After a while Harry noticed that the flames seemed to be getting closer and realised that the fiendfyre definitely didn't stop at just the manor. As he was trying to haul himself to his feet to move away he heard a serious of pops and suddenly Remus was by his side, his nails digging into Harry's arm, "What the hell happened? Are you okay?" He asked desperately as the aurours rushed to stop the fire.

"Dumbledore was in there." Harry mumbled, sliding the wand over to the man, "Voldemort left."

Remus looked down at it with wide eyes, slipping it up his sleeve quietly, "Tonks, get Harry to St Mungo's." He said loudly, before turning to Kingsley, "He says Dumbledore was inside."

"What? Harry…"

"Later, he's hurt." Remus insisted as Harry slumped against him, "Go with Tonks okay, they'll fix you up." Remus murmured, kissing the boy's head.

**_.*.*.*.*_**

Six day later Harry was finally released from St Mungo's and the wizarding world was mourning the death of Albus Dumbledore. According to Kingsley the man's wand had been discovered at the manor, somehow it had survived the flames. Harry had repeated his story over and over to the Aurours, how he and Dumbledore had gone to the manor, Dumbledore thought he'd found a weapon to use against Voldemort, but then Voldemort himself was there. How Dumbledore and Voldemort had fought, that Dumbledore had been hurt and Voldemort had cursed Harry. "He said Sirius and my parents weren't really dead." Harry had added, hoping that this would at least mean they wouldn't have to hide anymore. "Then there was just this fire and Voldemort was gone, Dumbledore was hurt, he just yelled at me to leave…" Harry had explained quietly before claiming he was tired. Luckily no-one questioned Harry's story, it made sense after all, Dumbledore was always talking to Harry about the war and planning with him, and of course the man would tell him to leave if things got nasty… Right? Professor McGonagall was the new headmistress of Hogwarts and she'd granted Harry as much time off as he needed, although quietly reminding him that the NEWT's were fast approaching, and so after leaving St Mungo's Harry was heading back to the manor with Remus and Lucius for a while. Severus was going to try and visit as much as possible but it would be incredibly difficult for him to get time away when the school was in such a state of mourning. James, Lily and Sirius had had to go back to their old lives for a while, now that the Ministry believed it was a possibility they were alive it was only a matter of time before they found them. Harry still hadn't told any of his family exactly what had happened, he'd told them what they needed to know, what the aurours knew, but he hadn't been able to tell them the truth, to tell them what he'd done… He was pretty sure they knew, after all he'd given Remus Dumbledore's wand to put back in the crime scene. He was expecting a million questions when he arrived at the manor but instead Lucius just held him tightly, "I am so, so glad you're alive." The man murmured in Harry's ear, apparently ignoring the way Harry tensed.

"Tea?" Remus offered awkwardly, everything the man had done for the past week had been awkward, like he wasn't sure how to act around Harry now, now that he was the reason a man was dead, and that hurt Harry far more than he'd ever admit. The three of them moved into the living room, cradling cups of tea and Lucius handed Harry the television remote, pulling his son close to him and letting him choose what to watch. "I love you, you know." He said softly after a moment, "And when you're ready… Well I'm here for you." Harry gave a small nod, ducking his head and flicking channels until he settled on some crap American sitcom, a few minutes later he was asleep with his head on Lucius' shoulder, his tea threatening to spill out of the mug.


End file.
